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My sister is a @#$%@



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Hi Twilight.

If that were my sister, I'd be printing off all the information I'd accured on lap-banding, and handing it to her in a file, as well as some printouts on sabotage! Even gift wrap it in some cute paper... lol - but that's just me - Aren't I nasty!

Here's to a great christmas and I hope it goes okay with your sister.

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I had to sit here and chuckle. Did you steal my family? I haven't told anybody in my family - that's how I dealt with it. LOL I just couldn't handle it. I know my mom would have supported me, but I didn't feel like answering all the questions.

My brother for sure, I can hear him making the running comment. He is overweight. My sister has this dripping way of asking questions that make me feel SO stupid and small sometimes. I don't want her questions about my band.

It's like my secret lover - I don't like anybody talking bad about it. LOL

Anywho...suggestions to deal with it. Maybe sit the whole family down and have a little education session where you can explain how the band works, how you get to eat, what you can eat, your own preparation and reasons for choosing the band, and how they can best support you. I'm sorry you're having to deal with them. I would SO be feeling homicidal. Gees, I swear you must be talking about my family. LOL

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I feel you pain. I told my mom, "after i'm all skinning and hot, what will my brother have to pick on me about?' my brother always makes comments about my weight. i tell him that he must have hair envy because he is bald. he says, 'yeah but i can control this.' and he grabs his stomach.

family can be such pain the @ss. i know my brother picks on me because he is jeolous. i have a great husband and kids, while his wife is mentally abusive to him and his kids.

this christmas, i'm going to pull him aside and tell him that i forgive him for his meanness over the years. he probably won't get it but it will make me feel better. i'll tell him that i pray for him and his family every night and hope that they find true happiness.

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Sometimes I get SOOO frustrated with my family. First they didn't agree with what I am doing. My mom was super supportive of my decision even though she did agree. My sister said she thought it was stupid and other choice phrases and my brother said, "Why don't you just run?" (to which I had some choice phrases)

So....I am going home for Christmas and as a show of good will I bought a beautiful prime rib for Christmas dinner. I will be on mushies but will eat around what everyone else is. If it is just some Jello and au jus so be it.

My sister calls last night and asks me, "Can you have jello." I tell her I love it and plan on making some SF lime with cottage cheese in it. Next comes "Can you have pumpkin pie?" "I CAN but probably won't," I tell her. "What about lemon meringue?" "Again, probably not." "Hot chocolate with whip cream?" "do you understand what a diet is?" I ask. "Oh, that's right, so stuff more like candied yams?" ....it continued but you get the picture.

How do you stay nice about that???? I honestly am thinking maybe I shouldn't go. I finished the conversation telling her that I would blend whatever I could, that I would be drinking Water and protien drinks mostly, and that they shouldn't worry about what I can and can't have. I wanted to jump through the phone and strangle her though.

She's overweight. She knows what a diet is. She's not a "normal". I may have to go to prison for murder if this continues! I'm already grumpy from lack of something to chew on.

I guess I just had to vent. Does anyone have any suggestions that don't include murder or mayhem? I guess maiming is probably out of the question too. Would it be wrong of me to take her present back and buy her a heart instead?

Steph

Maybe your sister is asking all these questions not to be of such a bother but for herself. Perhaps since you mentioned she is overweight is attempting to see if she takes the lapband journey herself to imagine what it would be like.

I would suggest a private conversation between the two of you and ask her directly you might be surprised she just doesnt have the courage or might think you will be catty (meow) if she wants to research that route for herself. Many people verbally speak that are overweight that it doesn't bother them..but deep down or behind closed doors it does.

Even if she doesn't admit it to you after a nice private conversation...... at least answer all her questions and educate her about it....

you might be surprised down the road when she opens up and tells you she wants to control her weight and needs the help!;)

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You are all so kind. Now I feel like a big old %$#$% myself. You are right though, I should give my sister the benefit of the doubt. She's much older than me and was for a lot of my life the one who picked on my the most. I guess there is still that hostility.

I will take what she says in a different light. Thank you all for putting it in perspective for me. I really did need that.

I'm looking forward to going home again. I will have a chat with them all and it will be good for them to learn about it. I think sometimes my family still sees me as the "baby" of the past and not the adult that I am. I wonder if they think this was a spur of the moment decision and not one that haunted me for years.

Again, thanks for all the words of wisdom. I'll go home happier and more relaxed now. I don't think I'll blender the prime rib dinner though....that's just a nasty thought. :rolleyes: The pumpkin dessert though....I wrote that down! It just sounds AWESOME!

Steph

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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