Relationships after bypass

[Mizzidaj 1]

So is it just me or does this really change ur relationship! Ive been married for over 10 years and ever since I got the surgery and I’ve lost so much weight it’s like wow my husband is all over me , wants sex all the time , I can really tell he likes the new me or more like my new body. The thing is he’s changing , very controlling and basically doesn’t let me go out not even to family events like I’m feeling like a prisoner ! It’s just getting worst

[catwoman7 10,863]

some relationships change, yes. Some for the better; some for the worse. Mine is better mostly because I can now actually do things with my husband, like ride bikes, hike, etc. He loves doing stuff like that and I wasn't able to do much of it with him when I weighed almost 400 lbs. I don't blame you for feeling like a prisoner - the controlling thing would be intolerable for me.

[summerseeker 1,848]

So sorry if I sound harsh here but this is setting my alarm bells ringing. You need to have a talk with your hubby fast. Controlling behaviour is very scary and does not come from a good place. He is very frightened he will loose you, its his problem and yours to deal with.

[learn2cook 492]

On 12/18/2022 at 06:28, summerseeker said:

So sorry if I sound harsh here but this is setting my alarm bells ringing. You need to have a talk with your hubby fast. Controlling behaviour is very scary and does not come from a good place. He is very frightened he will loose you, its his problem and yours to deal with.

My alarm bells are ringing too. Seek a 3rd party, like friend couple, therapy, any trusted person who seems like full of common sense to aid you with voicing your feelings/thoughts. This doesn’t sound safe and will only get worse with time if not addressed. Maybe your partner only needs some emotional bolstering but you need safety too!

[SuziDavis 544]

my husband went through a short phase of questioning if I will move on to "something better". And then realized that was stupid. He has never had a weight issue, so I never understood his worry.

Talk to him, he is used to you being one way and now you are changing everything.

[BlondePatriotInCDA 218]

On 12/17/2022 at 5:48 PM, Mizzidaj said:

So is it just me or does this really change ur relationship! Ive been married for over 10 years and ever since I got the surgery and I’ve lost so much weight it’s like wow my husband is all over me , wants sex all the time , I can really tell he likes the new me or more like my new body. The thing is he’s changing , very controlling and basically doesn’t let me go out not even to family events like I’m feeling like a prisoner ! It’s just getting worst

He's showing his insecurity. I'd suggest he try counseling with possible couples counseling. I hate to say it, but if he's feeling insecure now...how will he be once you've lost all your desired weight? Maybe suggest counseling for you both...to "help you with your body image"... the counselor will see his insecurity for what it is without putting it on him 😉