Hey all. I’m 7 days post op from gastric bypass. I don’t know how to change my profile from pre op right now.
Things have been going really great actually. I’ve been handling things really well all things considered. Meeting my goals, even lightly walking and exercising every day. My mood was fantastic and I was blessed with very little pain.

Before my surgery I went through a lot. I already got postponed several times over the course of 2 years, I started pursuing this in Nov 2019. I finally got scheduled in the middle of March. However I have been dealing with battling legal issues (retaliatory eviction and a civil rights discrimination case), a severely abusive relationship that I ended in the two weeks of my pre op, reporting him to several police agencies for the abuse, and just a LOT of emotional stress. It was hard but I did it and I felt so proud, and until today I felt amazing about it. I felt it was truly a test of sorts because I did not relapse with nicotine once, I didn’t binge eat the entire time.

I hadn’t heard a single thing from my attorney about my eviction and I never got a response to my civil rights case in almost two months so I wasn’t expecting to get an email today in which I was severely slandered and read several upsetting abusive lies about me. The email wasn’t so much what bothered me. I had a great morning where I had tons of energy, I sang in the shower and danced around a little bit. Did my make up. It was just a minor set back, until I went to go tell my mother who I am staying with for just a little since I live in a basement level with a huge flight of dangerous stairs in my house. She was really dismissive and she wouldn’t listen to me. The whole situation was triggering me but I did what I was supposed to do, go tell my support. She was really mean to me and it completely set me off. I think I had one of those hormone reactions I was warned about, or perhaps just several weeks without any kind of food, quitting all my vices cold Turkey at the same time, everything just hitting me all at once but I lost it.

I sobbed uncontrollably for several hours and I raged. I was so angry. Every time I thought I soothed myself, the crying would start again. I cried so hard I felt like I pulled something and now I’m in a lot of pain. I seriously wept and wailed for so long. I tried to reach out to supports but they were incredibly busy today. I finally decided to just go to sleep so I slept for several hours. I woke up and I feel only a little better, having stopped sobbing. But I feel like I got steam rolled. I do keep having sniffles and little crying fits. I lost all my momentum and motivation I had and I’m sincerely worried I’ll be permanently depressed again, which depresses me even further as I have felt so good the last few weeks. I didn’t relapse with over eating, I didn’t break my diet other than not meeting all my goals but I’m trying to catch up. I’m just so nauseated from crying so hard. Please tell me this will get better. What can I do? I’m still dealing with several toxic situations or the aftermath of them. I’m trying my best but I’m scared right now.

I understand that hormones can change with weight loss surgeries. You have a lot on your plate but you need to stop -just stop with the battles. Let go and give them to God. One person alone with having major surgery amid making life time changes it is too much. Crying is good, but laughter is healing for the body and soul.
first take care of you. Find a quiet place, and take time to just be still. Put in a funny movie - something lighthearted that makes you happy or music, a sermon. Call your Dr or support group or find a therapist so you can vent, but get help.
we can’t fix the world, and sometimes the more we try, the worse it gets . Concentrate on you. The eviction thing, tell the attorney to handle it, it’s why you pay him. What’s in the past, try to let it stay there. Court things taking forever right now, there’s always a lot of back n forth. Calendar it 4 weeks from today.
people can’t hurt you more than what you let them. You stay in control, of you . Learn to respond and not react to unwelcomed news. Wish you the best.

just read your profile. Happy Birthday. For you and me both. 4/29/ 53 here. ?

Edited April 20, 20224 yr by Grider

Hi Grider, sorry if I’m doing this reply wrong. I appreciate your response a lot. I’ve calmed down a little bit since when I posted this. Not crying so much, made tea and watching a funny show.

I struggle with religion so I’m not sure fully how to give it to God but I will try. You are right though, all these battles I have been fighting are just too much. I packed so much into this pre op and now post op, too afraid to postpone surgery in fear of it being much longer after I spent two years waiting. However, in hindsight I probably should have. I do have a long term therapist, I just don’t see her until Friday but I will try to call her in the morning. My hospital does a support group but only ever last Wednesday of the month, so I think I will try to find a more frequent one. And I have my surgery post op on Friday as well, I’ll check in with my surgery support person then too.

I will do my best to not fight these battles right now. It’s hard sometimes as I feel if I don’t do anything right this moment then it will all backfire or fall apart, but that’s something I’m working on. And learning to respond and not react. I’ll mention these things to my therapist.

thank you again, and oh! Happy early birthday to you as well. Our birthday is statistically really rare, so that just made my whole night! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

4 hours ago, lunar.crunch303 said:

Hey all. I’m 7 days post op from gastric bypass. I ready got postponed several times over the course of 2 years, I started pursuing this in Nov 2019. I finally got scheduled in the middle of March. However I have been dealing with battling legal issues (retaliatory eviction and a civil rights discrimination case), a severely abusive relationship that I ended in the two weeks of my pre op, reporting him to several police agencies for the abuse, and just a LOT of emotional stress.

I hadn’t heard a single thing from my attorney about my eviction and I never got a response to my civil rights case in almost two months so I wasn’t expecting to get an email today in which I was severely slandered and read several upsetting abusive lies about me. She was really dismissive and she wouldn’t listen to me. She was really mean to me and it completely set me off. I think I had one of those hormone reactions I was warned about, or perhaps just several weeks without any kind of food, quitting all my vices cold Turkey at the same time, everything just hitting me all at once but I lost it..

Both your body AND mind have needed to deal with very major issues. ((Hugs)) Tears are natures way of restoring the hormonal balance. Allow your mind to heal and just rest. Feel Peace. Tea sounds like a great go to. Maybe something with electrolytes in it would help to restore the balances. Keep the water up. You really are amazing. It is okay not to feel okay and give your body and mind time to adjust. ☺️

You've got a lot of drama going on in your life. You could benefit from therapy/counseling on these issues as you go through your WLS journey.

2 minutes ago, GradyCat said:

You've got a lot of drama going on in your life. You could benefit from therapy/counseling on these issues as you go through your WLS journey.

I wouldn’t necessarily call dealing with abuse drama. That’s a little insulting. Otherwise, I do have a therapist I just don’t see her until Friday.

6 hours ago, Possum220 said:

Both your body AND mind have needed to deal with very major issues. ((Hugs)) Tears are natures way of restoring the hormonal balance. Allow your mind to heal and just rest. Feel Peace. Tea sounds like a great go to. Maybe something with electrolytes in it would help to restore the balances. Keep the Water up. You really are amazing. It is okay not to feel okay and give your body and mind time to adjust. ☺️

Thank you so much. I got some Gatorade and I was able to fall asleep. I do feel a little better.

If you need to vent and cry on here its fine, we will listen and send you virtual hugs. I am here to listen every day if you need it. Our hormones go wild after this surgery and nobody told me either. I am very much past menopause but I got a big dose of anger and regrets, tears and tantrums. The kind people on here put me straight. Take it hour by hour and day by day. One day the slim, confident you will look back on today and say Wow, Look how strong am I. I survived and thrived.

You may be nauseous because you are dehydrated. Rest, drink and repeat x

You have dealt with so much in a short period of time. Surgery is a trauma to your body and your mind, and you've been dealing with a lot of other traumas. It's okay to rage and cry. It sounds like you're doing everything right - you're not overeating or smoking or anything destructive.

Depression and trauma take skilled therapists/counselors to help with. I am with you that religion is not the answer for everyone (I would be so pissed if someone said to leave it up to god!). And trauma is not the same as drama!

Self soothing is a continuous process; sometimes we just need to be upset and sit with that for a bit.

Congratulations for taking these positive steps for yourself. I'm so sorry that the people around you - the police, your landlord, you mother - are all such jerks. I hope things get better soon!

12 hours ago, lunar.crunch303 said:

Hi Grider, sorry if I’m doing this reply wrong. I appreciate your response a lot. I’ve calmed down a little bit since when I posted this. Not crying so much, made tea and watching a funny show.

I struggle with religion so I’m not sure fully how to give it to God but I will try. You are right though, all these battles I have been fighting are just too much. I packed so much into this pre op and now post op, too afraid to postpone surgery in fear of it being much longer after I spent two years waiting. However, in hindsight I probably should have. I do have a long term therapist, I just don’t see her until Friday but I will try to call her in the morning. My hospital does a support group but only ever last Wednesday of the month, so I think I will try to find a more frequent one. And I have my surgery post op on Friday as well, I’ll check in with my surgery support person then too.

I will do my best to not fight these battles right now. It’s hard sometimes as I feel if I don’t do anything right this moment then it will all backfire or fall apart, but that’s something I’m working on. And learning to respond and not react. I’ll mention these things to my therapist.

thank you again, and oh! Happy early birthday to you as well. Our birthday is statistically really rare, so that just made my whole night! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

You can do this. and you don't have to be religious to give it to God- can be the universe or the trashman when he goes by. I have burned letters or things that were bad news on the grill - in other words get it OFF you. My dad used to say, if can't handle it today, give it 30 days,,, might not be as bad. Glad you are bit better today and you simply can't control anything but yourself. Can't always get all we want - mostly get kicked in the butt, but we are survivors - no-- we are victors! Hang in there Birthday girl!

1 minute ago, Grider said:

You can do this. and you don't have to be religious to give it to God- can be the universe or the trashman when he goes by. I have burned letters or things that were bad news on the grill - in other words get it OFF you. My dad used to say, if can't handle it today, give it 30 days,,, might not be as bad. Glad you are bit better today and you simply can't control anything but yourself. Can't always get all we want - mostly get kicked in the butt, but we are survivors - no-- we are victors! Hang in there Birthday girl!

Sorry, but as an atheist, your statement is completely ridiculous.

Lizonaplane,

If you read my whole text -you see I added the universe or the trashman, it’s a common saying - that really just means release the burden.
You are free to think as you wish, the young lady asked for support in an open forum, don’t ruin it for her. This question was about her and her situation, not me or you. We are all on a mission and in our own struggles, have a great afternoon.

38 minutes ago, Grider said:

Lizonaplane,

If you read my whole text -you see I added the universe or the trashman, it’s a common saying - that really just means release the burden.
You are free to think as you wish, the young lady asked for support in an open forum, don’t ruin it for her. This question was about her and her situation, not me or you. We are all on a mission and in our own struggles, have a great afternoon.

The OP already told you she didn't appreciate you suggesting god. Doesn't help to suggest it again. It's only a common saying in religious circles. I can assure you that growing up in an atheist family I never once heard it.

Pray…. Prayer changed things. Everything! Ask God for what you want and he will answer in due time. You came too far to give up or let anything make you go back.

It will get better. Keep taking good care of yourself. xo

...It is hard to find words after reading your story, but what I can claim without a doubt is that there is nothing more painful than being lied in such post surgery cases. The operation is doubly morally complicated to overcome when your soul is crying out for lies received. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about from personal experience. I was asking myself "who am I?", being morally destroyed, but https://graduateway.com/essay-examples/who-am-i/ is the only thing that helped me survive. These essay examples saved my soul. If I can help you in any way now, then DM me, I'm right here with you for you.

Edited December 19, 20223 yr by Sandra01C.Decker