Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like I have no familial support for my surgery.



Recommended Posts

I am 51 and my parents are also very much against my choice to get the surgery. I’ve been overweight for 30 years, but they just don’t understand the affect it has had on me, on my life. I’ve basically had to tell them that I’m going to try everything I can with getting help, dietitian, therapy, support groups and then hopefully I won’t even need surgery. I know that’s not true and I am committed to getting the surgery, but in order to alleviate their worry and to not continuously get negative feedback, I’m just not sharing my journey with them. They can here about it after the fact.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is why I didn’t tell my family and said I was getting a hernia repaired. I didn’t want to argue or talk about any of it. I’ll let them figure it out later when I’m feeling and looking better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ClareLynn said:

This is why I didn’t tell my family and said I was getting a hernia repaired. I didn’t want to argue or talk about any of it. I’ll let them figure it out later when I’m feeling and looking better.

Yep..... that's basically what I did.

I said I was having surgery on my stomach. I have other issues with my stomach anyway, so I just kept the main part to myself, I omitted the main part of it so that mentally I can focus on my health and my journey w/o everyone's input rather negative or positive it's not a conversation I want to have everytime someone talks to me😇

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Let's call a spade a spade—that is abuse on their part.

But screw them. They're not going to be supportive no matter what. Let's talk about the reality here.

Are there people who could lose 100 lbs. on their own with diet and exercise? Yes. And they all have something they'd really like to sell you.

It is NOT the easy way out. It is basically giving you a lifesaving tool—the TEMPORARY ability to restrict your calories and not be starving hungry and tempted to undo it. Basically you are going to get a year or so to reevaluate your relationship with food without having things like a sugar addiction hanging over your head. But it is still diet and exercise.

I wish I could beam into your head the wonderment I feel as I shrink down. I'm 6 feet tall and have lost 85 pounds in four months (including pre-op). I haven't broken out into a random sweat; I can work all day (physical labor) and just be tired when the other guys are tired; I can run and jump and fit in spaces meant for average size human beings; I can buy clothes in normal stores; I don't have any comorbidities anymore, and in fact when I got Covid, it was mild and my doctor said my weight loss almost certainly helped with that.

tl;dr You do this for you, and the hell with what your gaslighting parents say. Psychiatric ward, my hind foot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, itami o said:

Thanks for the amazing responses. They've been so helpful in alleviating some of the feelings I've been having before my surgery. I'm getting my surgery tomorrow and I'm nervous but so excited!

Good luck tomorrow 🍀

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's their overdramatic way to show you that they love you. It is control though. Ultimately, as I'm sure everyone has said, it is your life and the decision is purely your own and you can do it! You're going to rock this procedure and process and come out a new YOU on the other side - if you do the work. All the work. There is a lot of work. You can do it. It's yours.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The fear is theirs to deal with, not yours. However, people with huge fear issues can be very hard to live with. My husband also yelled lots about how I was taking the easy way out, etc. etc. all of my kids had to do a couple of conference calls with him to calm him down, express their support for my decision, etc. I’ve since lost 85 lbs, am off cholesterol meds, no more insulin nor high blood pressure meds. I feel so much better. Let their fears be their issues and not yours. We have enough of our own problems to deal with!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Kris10_78

      Any tips on what I should have on hand the first week post op? 
      2 days away!!!!!
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Kaguragetshealthy_87

      What I've learned this last 2 weeks is consistent. That's I've been able to lose a pound here and there. This morning sucked it was 48 degrees but I am working on being consistent and sticking to it. Am perfectly sticking to it? Hell no but I'm working my ass off!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • newsam1154

      A bit frustrated with my surgeon's office currently. Feeling like they are leaving everyone in the dark about when surgeries will start again. Told one thing, then told to do another. GRRR! I just want to be scheduled already! 😫🤬
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Meganator

      I'm losing more than weight. Ran labs to prep for my annual exam and since my pre-op labs in September (sleeved 10/13), I've lost:
      39pts off my Total Cholesterol including... 29pts off LDL 33pts off Triglycerides 18pts off fasting glucose & almost normal range A1C is lower on low end of "pre-diabetic" range My surgeon does labs at 6 months, so this is cool info to have in the meantime!
      · 1 reply
      1. Kaguragetshealthy_87

        Good for you! 😀

    • Mrs.Pose

      Hey
      Post op day 4. Not doing great. Haven't pooped in 6 days .Struggling with water and completing the 3 shakes a day any suggestions on how to win...please advise
      · 2 replies
      1. Little wing

        Hello! I m 3 weeks post op and I just went through the worst constipation of my life
        I was severely impacted for 4 days (it was at the door) it was the worst experience ever!
        within 2 hrs I did 2 suppositories and 2 enemas, it did nothing! I always had the urge to go but it wouldn't come out, with the enemas the urge was greater but still nothing! the following morning I did another enema and nothing. I ended up going to the ER and got IV hydration but they recommended to manually scoop some out which I did but girl it was not enough for relief. My MD recommended: stop protein shakes and go back to liquids only like during week 1 and oral exlax pills, 1 dose and if no bowel movement within 4 hrs then another dose. I needed the 2nd dose by the next day I finally started to get relief.

        my advise before you get so constipated like me, is drink smooth move tea and
        if you get impacted like i was maybe try the exlax after you contact your surgeon and let him know they may advise to stop the protein shakes until you have a bowel movement.

        I know you are only day 4 so maybe not to worry right now. I had my first bowel movement on day 5 post surg. BUT BEWARE of not drinking water!
        I struggle with my water intake too, which is why i became so constipated. all that protein but no water, I know its really hard but we have to try. for me that whole experience has been so bad I am afraid to eat anything! Drinking teas really helps me with the water. I like chamomile and the smooth move tastes pretty good. I also try to ALWAYS have a water bottle in my hand. that is a good reminder to drink it. right now i am assuming you are at home mostly resting so its easy to just have it in your hand at all times.
        and I know its prob bad but I havent had a protein shake in a week. I'm barely recuperating from all that impaction trauma, lol.

      2. Uniquely Me

        I hadn’t pooped in a week also. I was taking benefiber everyday and nothing. I finally decided to take a laxative and went. I’m 9 1/2 weeks post op DS.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×