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I’m sad and I don’t know what to do.



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I got RNY 04/2017.
HW: 226, LW: 150, CW: 195
I did all of the right things until I had transfer addiction in 2019 and started drinking daily. It escalated and I was a full blown alcoholic. I have now been sober a year and I’m depressed. I’m almost back to my pre surgery weight, I’m working my butt off to lose the weight and it’s not coming off. I never feel well and my chest always hurts. I always have heartburn and I’m always hungry. I need help so I went to a new surgeon the other day about a potential revision and she wants me to see a nutritionist and get a endoscopy. I got my results from my upper GI testing today and there’s NOTHING wrong. I feel like everything is wrong and I’m not okay. I’m on antidepressants, I’m now sober, I’m exercising and eating properly but I’m still fat and I hate myself so much for it. I feel like the biggest failure at 30 years old and it makes me so sad.

Has anyone else been able to lose regain?

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I am only 8 months out so I can’t speak about regain but if you haven’t seen a nutritionist yet you could learn some things that will help you to lose weight. Is the doctor saying they won’t do a revision unless something is wrong?? I was told that they do revision because of heartburn even if you aren’t that overweight. Have you considered seeing a bariatric therapist? Maybe since you experienced addiction transfer and you are sober, you transferred back to food again and need to get to the root of the addiction before you will be able to lose the weight.

Edited by ShoppGirl

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@ShoppGirl
Hi! Thanks for your response. I have seen a nutritionist but the new dr wants me to work with hers. She (the dr.) was very positive about the whole situation and was extremely helpful. I just want to feel well. I have been watching everything that I eat and exercising 5-7x/ week since August and I’m not losing. This is why I decided to see a new dr. I need help and I know it. I have an addiction therapist and psychologist. I hate feeling defeated.

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I agree with @ShoppGirl. You may have transferred your addiction back to food. Seeking a therapist who specialises or is experienced with bariatric patients, disordered eating &/or eating addictions. Your surgeon should be able to recommend someone to work with you.

Unfortunately many anti depressant meds increase your appetite too so you they could be adding to your battle.

Congratulations on being a year sober.

All the best.

Sorry, just read your response above & I’m glad you’re seeking help from therapists all ready. Definitely see a dietician. Sometimes little things have a, big impact on losing or gaining.

Edited by Arabesque

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First, congrats on your prior weight loss and sobriety!!

Since altering your diet have you been tracking your food again? If not you may want to try that and go back to basics. Back to the way we're told to eat once we hit that "regular food" stage. Not sure what you were told but for me that means 800 cals a day, 50 grams or less of total carbs, 60-75 grams of Protein, 64 oz of Water and the carbs you do eat should be from things like fruits/veggies/whole grains. You don't know how many times I thought I was doing everything right until I actually started counting/using the food tracker app again. Since Oct 25th I've been in a stall. Thought I had my crap together and doing things right until I sent my nutritionist my food logs to ask for help and suggestions and she pointed out what I was doing wrong and where I was inconstant. So I made the corrections and things are already improving and it's only been a week.

Anyway, I too suggest the therapist but maybe also the nutritionist to help you get on track again. She or he would have the best suggestion on how to help you get going again. Best of luck!!!

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17 hours ago, Arabesque said:

I agree with @ShoppGirl. You may have transferred your addiction back to food. Seeking a therapist who specialises or is experienced with bariatric patients, disordered eating &/or eating addictions. Your surgeon should be able to recommend someone to work with you.

Unfortunately many anti depressant meds increase your appetite too so you they could be adding to your battle.

Congratulations on being a year sober.

All the best.

Sorry, just read your response above & I’m glad you’re seeking help from therapists all ready. Definitely see a dietician. Sometimes little things have a, big impact on losing or gaining.

THIS! one thousand percent. There are antidepressants that DON'T cause weight gain, but some doctors don't know/care enough about side effects to off those to patients struggling with their weight.

If you don't think the prescriber is thinking of this, try talking to your surgeon to see if she thinks this could be an issue. There are so many meds that you could be taking that could be adding to weight gain (but... even the cravings to eat caused by the weight gain can be minimized). Also, there are medications you can take to reduce hunger, like metformin and phentermine, along with newer drugs like Ozempic

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Congratulations on your sobriety!

Like youre winning your fight with that youll win with weight, one step at a time.

I would avoid tablets if you can for weight loss.

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Wow, you are being really hard on yourself! Don't forget that a year sober is a big deal. It looks like you had to put weight loss on the back burner to focus on your sobriety, and that does not make you a failure. You are taking active steps to getting back on track, and that's great. If you don't give up, there's always hope.

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Do you see a psychiatrist for your antidepressant medication? Finding the right medication is a trial and error process. Since you are still depressed (sad), the one you are on may not be the best one for you, especially if it is interfering with your desired weight loss. Psychiatrists know far more about psychotropic medication than general practitioners.

Here is the food plan that I have been on pre-surgery. I'm just three days away from my scheduled revision surgery. When I can eat regular food again I intend to go back on it. It's been very successful for me. Part of the success has been my recognition of trigger foods. I have cut out all sugar, flour, rice, potatoes, and processed foods and have lost 67 lbs to date. If I indulge in these things, I have to go through withdrawal all over again. Then, if I avoid my trigger foods, I do not have cravings.

A Pound of Cure by Matthew Weiner, MD, a bariatric surgeon.

1842045618_APoundOfCure.jpg.4003dbb786c4b71a116de9904ece3950.jpg

He's written two other books, has a website and YouTube videos.

1888934339_HowWeightLossSurgeryReallyWorks.jpg.2cf7a3071297f7ea38680d207f4329f6.jpg 760928021_BariatricDietGuideCookbook.jpg.436fff2f4a2e34a5db154ad7dc3ec546.jpg

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On 12/16/2021 at 8:30 PM, NYCGirl_ said:

Has anyone else been able to lose regain?

Yes! It's possible! I gained maybe 25-30 COVID pounds and just lost them all. My stomach did what it was supposed to do (sleeve) and still worked as a tool 3 years post-WLS. It still works! I just went back to the basics of tracking EVERYTHING I eat, working out, focusing on Protein and Water and THE WEIGHT CAME OFF! I'm now on Weight Watchers to keep this momentum going.

Believe in yourself. You can do it!

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
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      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

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        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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