My new body

[WanderingHeart 141]

Wow. Been awhile since I posted.

I hit one-derland on my birthday a few weeks ago, which felt awesome.

I've been having gall bladder issues for a few months but trying some alternative healing methods before taking drastic action.

Ive gone from a size 20 to a size 12. Its amazing being able to wear regular sizes - and white! Picking out clothes I like vs. clothes that fit.

Body dysmorphia is real - I can tell I'm losing weight but I still feel like I look the same.

Just today, I noticed my skin on my stomach and thighs is getting very thin and loose in certain spots. It was sort of a strange sight but I didn't love it or hate it. Mostly curious about it.

My partner has been super supportive of the surgery and lifestyle changes but while we were hanging out, I surprised him and showed him my loose granny skin. The look on his face hit me hard. It was like surprise and disgust. That was tough.

No regrets. One day at a time.

[SummerTimeGirl 582]

Congratulations to you!! That's awesome!! Can't wait to be in your position one day!! Hopefully the issues with your gall bladder will resolve so that you can avoid surgery.

I've already been having the loose skin under my arms, stomach and between my legs (the upper inner thighs) and I'm not very fond of it. Already dreading Summer and thinking about wearing swimsuit again. Before I used to wear the skirted kind of suit that comes in two separate pieces. Now who knows what I'll wear cause there's really nothing to help hide the flabby arms. I could always try those shorts to hide the upper, inner thighs and maybe even the skirts will still work but those arms, ugh! My legs, even at bigger size, used to look good. Now, eh.

I haven't been fully naked in front of my husband, at least not standing up and walking around, in decades. Yes, I will get naked in bed and strategically drape the blanket over my stomach and stuff like that but yeah, I was hoping to one day be able to walk around naked or in some lingerie and not sure that will happen cause I have the same fear of his reaction that your partner had. Even though he's very supportive, loving, loves my body (big or small), etc. it's like, once you see that you can't unsee it and you don't really know how you'll react to it unless and until you do and I say that to him and he gets upset with me and tells me that would never happen. LOL Who knows, maybe I need to give him more credit.

But yeah, I hope one day I can eventually get this extra skin removed (and I still have a ways to go with losing more weight too). Not sure I will be totally happy with my body unless that happens. But I am happy with so many more positive things that has happened with/to me since! So, I am grateful!

[Sunnyway 345]

40 minutes ago, SummerTimeGirl said:

I used to wear the skirted kind of suit that comes in two separate pieces. Now who knows what I'll wear cause there's really nothing to help hide the flabby arms.

I wear suits that look like bicycle shorts with tops with sleeves. You can find them on JunoActive and Swimsuits for All. I feel all covered up. No one is ever going to see my upper arms unless I can someday get plastic surgery. The top covers my belly and hanging apron.

[SummerTimeGirl 582]

Thanks! I was really hoping to avoid that sort of suit. The top anyway. I love the sun and also don't like the feel of that extra fabric on me. But, I just may have to.

[Guest]

35 minutes ago, SummerTimeGirl said:

Thanks! I was really hoping to avoid that sort of suit. The top anyway. I love the sun and also don't like the feel of that extra fabric on me. But, I just may have to.

Or don't. Hold your head high, and enjoy the sun.

F*ck what other people think. You want sun? You take that sun! You and I both know people who don't care aren't people you point or stare at. You admire them for their courage and envy their self esteem.

When I was my fattest, we went on a work trip that involved a beach bar. I didn't want to go in the Water, obviously. Until the under-30s didn't want to go in because of their (non-existing) 'rolls of fat'. Then I said I'm going in, let me know when your love for having fun overcomes your worries about people staring. And now they'll be staring at me.

Nobody said anything. Because you don't to people who seem to be proud of themselves, no matter what.

Edit: and everyone went in. We had a fun trip.

Edited December 15, 2021 by Guest