Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Endless waiting.. Starting to get discouraged - Mini Rant



Recommended Posts

Hi lovely friends!

It has been a while since I posted on here because It seems like everything has REALLY been not wanting me to have this surgery consult. I originally decided on surgery in June of 2021, got my referral, and was all set for my surgical eval for September 1st (long wait for appointments in CA right now). Great! I took the day off work and an hour before my appointment the receptionist calls me from the surgical office and says Dr. had to go due to an emergency - no problem! The only appointment they have now is for September 29th, okay I will take it! Two days before my new appointment I get a call from staff telling me my surgeon will be on medical leave indefinitely and to get a new referral for a new surgeon. SO, I get a new appointment with my PCP, make my new referral, call and they only have appointments in November. November 12th is now my appointment for my first surgical consult with a doctor and I am just feeling so discouraged. The fact that it has taken almost 6 months just to consult has me frustrated and upset. Also, I developed depression about two months ago (being treated, in therapy) so I put on more weight. I just feel like maybe surgery isn't meant for me, or maybe it will be a mistake.

I am just looking for some encouragement and maybe some similar stories to know I am not alone in this frustrating appointment hell! Thank you guys ❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Try not to be too discouraged. These are the hurdles that your insurance company hopes will make you give up so they don’t have to pay for your surgery. Keep getting treatment for your depression and do the best you can with your weight. I bet once you have a surgery date you will be able to lose a bit if you want to. Be kind to yourself though. Depression is real and weight gain or loss is not at all uncommon. I have actually had it present both ways in myself. When I was younger I would lose weight during bouts of depression but now that I am older and also on medication it makes me gain (not sure if it’s age or the meds that cause it but I can’t change either so I just accept it). I have my fingers crossed for you that your consult appointment goes on as planned and you are able to officially start this journey. Once you are on the other side of surgery looking back you will realize it goes faster than you think. But definitely keep getting treatment for that depression because you want that under control before surgery to give yourself the best chance at losing all your weight post surgery. Keep posting on here too. This is a pretty special community. It’s been very helpful for me. Congratulations on your decision to pursue WLS and best of luck on the next few hurdles. You’ve got this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, ShoppGirl said:

Try not to be too discouraged. These are the hurdles that your insurance company hopes will make you give up so they don’t have to pay for your surgery. Keep getting treatment for your depression and do the best you can with your weight. I bet once you have a surgery date you will be able to lose a bit if you want to. Be kind to yourself though. Depression is real and weight gain or loss is not at all uncommon. I have actually had it present both ways in myself. When I was younger I would lose weight during bouts of depression but now that I am older and also on medication it makes me gain (not sure if it’s age or the meds that cause it but I can’t change either so I just accept it). I have my fingers crossed for you that your consult appointment goes on as planned and you are able to officially start this journey. Once you are on the other side of surgery looking back you will realize it goes faster than you think. But definitely keep getting treatment for that depression because you want that under control before surgery to give yourself the best chance at losing all your weight post surgery. Keep posting on here too. This is a pretty special community. It’s been very helpful for me. Congratulations on your decision to pursue WLS and best of luck on the next few hurdles. You’ve got this.

Wow, this is kind of exactly what I needed to hear... This is why I love this forum! I am actively getting help for the depression because I already know having it and getting surgery will be a crappy mixture haha. I will keep posting as my journey continues! Thank you so much for the support and encouragement! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's really frustrating! It happens to a lot of people; it took me 7.5 months to have the surgery, but your delay sounds really unfortunate. As @ShoppGirl said, you will be there before you know it. Work on the depression the best you can with therapy and medication if needed (If you start medication for depression, make sure the doctor tries a medication that is less likely to cause weight gain). I found that once I was set to have surgery, I tried to live a more "bariatric" life, by eating more Protein and fewer carbs and exercising more. It's so hard to do any of this when you're depressed, but at least try upping your protein. It will help you feel less hungry, or at least it did for me. If you can take a walk in the fresh air, it might make you feel better for a bit. (Of course, that depends on your weather... I live in Boston where we have crap weather a lot, so I often walk in the mall!) Stay strong!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This whole process has taken me a while. A few years ago I was looking into it (again) and insurance didn't cover. I kept calling every year to see if things changed. Last year they had! I had previously done an "intake" of sorts, just in case they did cover (as advised) and I'm glad I did because I would have been on quite a waiting list as well. I was able to skip ahead quite a bit because I was in the system.

Beyond that, the program for the surgery is six months. After finishing that, I got pneumonia 1 week into my pre-op diet. My surgery was off. I got scheduled again, and got postponed again, and now I'm on my third date, which is in a few days. It's all been pretty frustrating and mentally quite the challenge. A six-month process has taken me well over a year, lol. It's given me more time to prepare, but also more time to worry. I wish I were farther in the healing stage right now, but then I also maybe I'm just right where I need to be?

Hope you get some positive movement forward soon. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't be discouraged. And don't beat yourself up! Be nice to our friend greenwitch17, she's pretty awesome.

The delays are unfortunate. Did the former office at least get you started on whatever program is needed for your insurance to cover? Some insurances like to see 3 or 6 months of "medically supervised weight loss" 🙄before you can move forward with surgery. Or there are all sorts of other hurdles, like getting sign-off from your psychiatrist, etc.

As for the depression—many of us have been there. I am discovering that my weight was a HUGE part of my depression, both emotionally ("why can't I lose this weight, what is wrong with me") and physically (obesity causes depression which causes obesity, etc., etc., etc.). I am on a quarter dose of my antidepressant which feels liberating because I don't have many bouts of depression anymore even on such a low dose. They're going to try to take me off in a couple of months, and I'm curious whether that will actually happen. (My depression manifests as lethargy and The Impossible Task™.)

You will get there. And we're here for you both now and later. And a year from now you're going to be living your best life, #hotgirlsummer or whatever hashtag we're using next year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi lovely friends!
It has been a while since I posted on here because It seems like everything has REALLY been not wanting me to have this surgery consult. I originally decided on surgery in June of 2021, got my referral, and was all set for my surgical eval for September 1st (long wait for appointments in CA right now). Great! I took the day off work and an hour before my appointment the receptionist calls me from the surgical office and says Dr. had to go due to an emergency - no problem! The only appointment they have now is for September 29th, okay I will take it! Two days before my new appointment I get a call from staff telling me my surgeon will be on medical leave indefinitely and to get a new referral for a new surgeon. SO, I get a new appointment with my PCP, make my new referral, call and they only have appointments in November. November 12th is now my appointment for my first surgical consult with a doctor and I am just feeling so discouraged. The fact that it has taken almost 6 months just to consult has me frustrated and upset. Also, I developed depression about two months ago (being treated, in therapy) so I put on more weight. I just feel like maybe surgery isn't meant for me, or maybe it will be a mistake.
I am just looking for some encouragement and maybe some similar stories to know I am not alone in this frustrating appointment hell! Thank you guys [emoji3590]

My daughter tells me everything happens for a reason and she's 33 ...I think about it alot

Sent from my SM-G973W using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I'd been waiting for my OP for a couple of years had two pre ops and then covid hit so that was another year and a half wait and on the 28th of July got a phone call they was doing my OP 23rd August so everything was a rush to get bloods done an Iron infusion to get to the hospital in the morning for 7.30 then the surgeon came up to tell me I might no have it done because he needed an assistant anyway 10 minutes later I had surgery the next day I thought what have I done to myself 10 weeks post OP and I feel brilliant not sure how much I've lost till the end of November but I will let you all know

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My first consult was in Oct 2019 and I am finally getting my surgery now Nov, 2021! 🤣

So yeh, I have had to wait a while too. Usual wait in Canada isn't that long, may be 6 months to max a year. But because of COVID, it kept getting delayed. I got my very first date for May 2021, but they had to cancel it ala COVID. Then it was June, 2021. Again, cancelled. Finally got it for September, 2021 but I was already in school and it would have been difficult to handle surgery and full course load with tons of group work and back to back assignments/exams. So had to postpone it, delay yet again. And finally for the FOURTH time, here I am getting ready for the surgery, Nov 16th 2021 and on the pre-Op diet 🤣🤣🤣

So don't get discouraged. Things happen when they are bound to happen and when it's the right time for you.

Keep your spirits high and hope for the best. It'll pass and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel!

Edited by DaisyAndSunshine

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone well I know about waiting and being discouraged. I started this journey all most 2yrs ago I was halted by COVID. No calls from anyone I had to call and break down the timeline to start things rolling again these past 3 - months. To just recently had a video visit where I sat in the chat room for over an hour for the surgeon not to show. I'm trying to stay motivated and calm. However, I just don't want any more setbacks. But we have to keep each other going, we will make it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I'd been waiting for my OP for a couple of years had two pre ops and then covid hit so that was another year and a half wait and on the 28th of July got a phone call they was doing my OP 23rd August so everything was a rush to get bloods done an Iron infusion to get to the hospital in the morning for 7.30 then the surgeon came up to tell me I might no have it done because he needed an assistant anyway 10 minutes later I had surgery the next day I thought what have I done to myself 10 weeks post OP and I feel brilliant not sure how much I've lost till the end of November but I will let you all know

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×