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Second Guessing Myself



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SO let me start this by saying I have TERRIBLE anxiety when it comes to anything medical. For example, I pass out when getting my blood drawn. But lately, I have felt my health declining in a way it never has before, and I am also the heaviest (and saddest) I have ever been. I have been in a state of binging lately and have realized I need help. I have tried and failed many diets and I feel that before I develop any co-morbidities, I need to get the weight off for good.

This brought me to bariatric surgery which I have discussed with my therapist and PCP. I got a referral and am scheduled for my first consult on 9/1/21. I am super excited, but lately little stupid fears have crept up into my mind. What if I am too young for this and it is too extreme? What if they have to use a catheter on me? What if the surgery fails? What if I die?

Even typing this I know there are WAY more positives than the fears could ever outweigh. I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else is feeling the anxiety before starting their journies? Or if any veterans recall the same fears?

My stats for reference:

Height - 5ft 4in

Weight - 247lbs

Age - 22

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Most people on here say their only regret is not doing it sooner, so I don't think you are too young... EXCEPT that I think you need to get the binge eating under control first, or you might just gain all the weight back.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I was told I will not be having a catheter put in because they want you up and walking to the bathroom and around the halls a few hours after surgery.

There is always a risk of complications in surgery, but they are rare, and the risk of death is EXTREMELY rare. Especially if you get it done someplace really good. If you have fewer co-morbidities and your BMI is on the lower end (like yours is) it is less risky.

It's natural to be anxious about surgery - I am worried I will chicken out, but my dad said he knows me and that I always get scared but do it anyway. That made me feel better. Is your family supportive?

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4 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

Most people on here say their only regret is not doing it sooner, so I don't think you are too young... EXCEPT that I think you need to get the binge eating under control first, or you might just gain all the weight back.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I was told I will not be having a catheter put in because they want you up and walking to the bathroom and around the halls a few hours after surgery.

There is always a risk of complications in surgery, but they are rare, and the risk of death is EXTREMELY rare. Especially if you get it done someplace really good. If you have fewer co-morbidities and your BMI is on the lower end (like yours is) it is less risky.

It's natural to be anxious about surgery - I am worried I will chicken out, but my dad said he knows me and that I always get scared but do it anyway. That made me feel better. Is your family supportive?

I agree about the binging, but that has been a very recent onset that I believe I can get back under control fairly easily. I am sure going to bring it up with my therapist and surgeon. My husband, mother, and friends are all supportive so that is awesome also! I think I am just psyching myself out by fearing the worst. Thank you for the reassurance and support! :)

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I think it's fantastic you're starting this journey for yourself. I am 7 weeks out now from my gastric sleeve and I am definitely one of those who wishes I would have done it sooner. I was terrified at the idea of having surgery. I had my gallbladder out years ago, and for many years I just couldn't see myself purposely making the choice to have surgery. Finally, after multiple weight losses and regains and my body feeling exhausted at doing any little thing, I said enough is enough. I am so happy I did now. As for the catheter fear, I was so scared of that too. I did not have one. And like Lizonaplane said, they want us walking around literally hours after the surgery. And trust me, as tired as you will feel, walking is so good 'cause it helps to get rid of the gas pains. Also, let your surgeon know you don't want a catheter that way they know. I told mine I didn't want one. I'm not even sure if he does them or not, but I just made it clear I really didn't want one if it could be helped.

I worried about risks too, but again just as lizonaplane said, they are rare. I kept looking at it like, either I go and have surgery now and fix this, or keep going downhill with my health and wind up in the hospital for my health down the line anyway. The fact you have such a supportive family is awesome! It makes such a huge difference to have that sort of support. I have that too and it has made this such a smoother process.

One last note... I was very nervous the morning of surgery and I asked them to give me something to help me calm down before they took me into the OR. What they gave me was amazing! So, you can ask for something before your surgery too and it really REALLY helps. :D It's good stuff. My sister said I apparently gave her a big smile and thumbs up when they were wheeling me out. I do not remember that. Last thing I remember was being told to move to the table. Then, I was waking up in post-op.

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That's so excited that you're facing your fears and taking a step to stop serious health problems before they develop! It is MUCH easier to prevent them than it is to reverse them.

I always say the same thing when people post about pre surgery anxiety: first, the sleeve has a lower mortality rate than a c-section. Also, read through a few of the monthly threads. I read through the March, April and May threads before my surgery in July. I was reassured by how many people had no or few complications. It was the majority for sure. Hopefully that will help you.

I can say personally that I have done band and sleeve surgery, and both times I had no complications and I was back to work quickly. I'm feeling amazing now about 6 weeks after my sleeve surgery. I have so much more energy and I'm sleeping well for the first time in my life (I think because I cut out the caffeine and sugar). You can do it!!!

Edited by Maribelle76

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I'm still three weeks pre-op but I felt every word of your post in my bones. And all I will say is that, now that I've committed to do this for myself, I wish I'd had the courage to do it 15 years ago. Too young? No such thing. They do it for teenagers. And if you're young, your skin is more elastic which could mean less issues with loose skin.

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anxiety before surgeries (any surgery) is pretty common...I always freak out before any surgery I've had. And they've all gone off without a hitch.

first, morbidity rates on weight loss surgeries are really low. It's 0.3% for bypass, even lower for sleeve (not sure the exact percentage for sleeve since I had the bypass - but sleeve is lower). So there's a 99.7% chance (or greater) that you're NOT going to die - and those are excellent odds! Even better than hip replacement surgeries, which people get all the time. Weight loss surgeries have improved tremendousy over the years and they're no longer the scary, risky things they used to be. They've really become pretty routine at this point.

I don't think most surgeons use catheters for weight loss surgeries, because unless you have other issues going on in there that they have to deal with, the surgeries are short. My bypass took a little over an hour - sleeve surgeries are typically even shorter. I DID have a catheter for two of my plastic surgeries, but then I was under for over four hours with those. The catheter wasn't any big deal - but no, most of us don't have one for weight loss surgery.

the surgery won't fail as long as you follow the rules and guidelines. It'll work like a charm. But you do need to get the binge eating under control, because that could sabotage your efforts. They'll probably have you meet with a psychologist prior to surgery (that's very common...), but you may want to continue meeting with a therapist even after that because the binge eating WILL hinder your results if you can't get on top of it. Many of us have worked with therapists and found it very helpful.

I can't speak to the being too young part, since I had surgery at age 55 - but like others, my only regret is that I didn't have it sooner.

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I just turned 50 this month and my ONLY retreat is that I didn't do this sooner. I had my surgery right before my 49th birthday last year. If I had done this in my late 20s or early 30s when I weighed around what you do instead of waiting until I was almost 400 pounds, it would have prevented me from having the liver disease and other problems that led me to finally get surgery.
I am also a very anxious person and always think the worst. It doesn't help that I'm an RN, so I always imagine every scenario that could go wrong.
I just had to keep telling myself that statistics were in my favor and there was way more chance of things going right. There is always a risk of complications, but that risk is small. I'm so glad I took the risk and my life is a million times better now than it was last year.
You are smart for doing it while you are young. You will hopefully prevent so many problems!

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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