Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Tips for Dealing with a Rude Surgeon?



Recommended Posts

I have my 16 week follow up appointment with my surgeon next week and have anxiety even thinking about it. My surgeon is downright rude, demeaning, and dismissive. I’ve lost 62lbs in 15 weeks yet every time I visit he mentions a phantom weight that I started at (15lbs less than my actual REAL pre surgery weight) and discredits the amount of weight I’ve lost. I’ve asked where he got this number from and I’m just told “this is what we have in your chart” (from where?!) I’m told that I need to weight 150lbs to be healthy. At 5’11 I would have to lose 20lbs of lean mass and be zero percent body fat to weight this - aka dead! My labs are all perfect, I no longer require a CPAP, and my blood pressure is normal. I did not have many health issues prior to VSG so this is not contingent upon me gaining my health back.

I’m also told I should be doing 300 mins a week of cardio. At my age with rheumatoid arthritis, that’s simply not possible. I do cardio 5x a week for 20-30 mins at a time and lift weights 4 days a week. I feel like I am making good progress despite having a couple stalls along the way.

Saying I come out of the office feeling defeated and unworthy is an understatement. I don’t get it, and I don’t understand the point of making patients feel this way. I’ve been a nurse for 20 years and normally have a thick skin, but these visits always leave me feeling like I’ve not done enough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ask for a witness or advocate to be in the room with you (if done in person) or screen record the appointment (let your surgeon know you are doing it for your records) and see if the tone changes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also, my office has PAs and ARNPs that do some of the follow up visits. Would that be an option for you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Simple fix. Switch doctors. And write him up on every patient opinion site you can find. He sounds like a turd who wants to bolster his image with you looking as thin as possible regardless of how unhealthy it might be for you. You are not his personal bulletin board and his behavior is not only dreadful, it reinforces disordered eating that can lead to future gain. Find a new bariatric group. Wouldn't surprise me if another group near you has others of his refugees. Run. Today.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 07/21/2021 at 15:13, kristieshannon said:

Also, my office has PAs and ARNPs that do some of the follow up visits. Would that be an option for you?

Unfortunately they only do follow ups with the surgeon that performed the procedure. They do have a NP but he takes care of the pre op side of things with diet only.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 07/21/2021 at 16:28, Creekimp13 said:



Simple fix. Switch doctors. And write him up on every patient opinion site you can find. He sounds like a turd who wants to bolster his image with you looking as thin as possible regardless of how unhealthy it might be for you. You are not his personal bulletin board and his behavior is not only dreadful, it reinforces disordered eating that can lead to future gain. Find a new bariatric group. Wouldn't surprise me if another group near you has others of his refugees. Run. Today.


Prior to my surgery, I did look elsewhere because I was so frustrated with the process. The experience with the center in general has been a horrible experience that just became worse after surgery. At this point I believe I only have one more follow up in 6 more months and then I’m on my own (which I am completely ok with). I completely agree on putting reviews on every outlet possible to warn others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. You deserve so much better. I’d switch to a new doc if you get the chance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

150 lbs at 5'11"? That's a BMI of 20.9. Only 10-15% of bariatric patients make it to a normal BMI, let alone one that low in the range. Plus 62 lbs in 15 weeks is really good progress! I think this guy is insane.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

P.S. I'd take a friend or family member with me to the appt - and since your last post-op with him is at the six-month mark, maybe you could just ask the clinic what lab tests you need done annually, and have your PCP do them from then on out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like he is more concerned about his surgery stats than he is your health.

I don't know if you have or will have a lot of excess skin, but if you do, his goal weight probably doesn't factor in the weight of that excess skin, and you'd be even leaner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 07/21/2021 at 19:23, catwoman7 said:



150 lbs at 5'11"? That's a BMI of 20.9. Only 10-15% of bariatric patients make it to a normal BMI, let alone one that low in the range. Plus 62 lbs in 15 weeks is really good progress! I think this guy is insane.


I’ve brought up the BMI issue with him before, especially considering I spent many years bodybuilding and have more muscle mass than most. It’s immediately dismissed and he just refers back to general BMI guidelines and says that should be my goal weight for health. It’s like he won’t accept my prior history with being physically active either, he always seems shocked that I wasn’t sedentary my entire life and that’s why I was obese. I know my activity history is in my chart and I bring this up every visit but nope, still nothing. Directly after I had my surgery he said I had the most developed ab muscles he’s had on a patient, yet still said “the majority of my patients don’t get so obese by being physically active, they sit around doing nothing” 🙄

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 07/21/2021 at 19:28, catwoman7 said:



P.S. I'd take a friend or family member with me to the appt - and since your last post-op with him is at the six-month mark, maybe you could just ask the clinic what lab tests you need done annually, and have your PCP do them from then on out.


This is a great idea on bringing someone with me. My GP has been very supportive of the process and I’m sure she would be willing to run the labs needed for rechecks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×