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Talking to my kids about WLS



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How did everyone else's WLS conversations go with your kids?

I have a 3 year old and 2 pre-teen girls. I want to make sure I have a good conversation with my pre-teens about this as I know it's a funny subject, especially at their age.

Any suggestions?

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My kids are between yours - 8 and 6, and they are both already showing signs of being overweight. We talk about my diabetes, and how they are both at risk for it. And then I told them about how I could possibly have a surgery that could help me run faster to chase them at the park and have more energy for playing. They both understood and were excited.

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My grandkids, as well as my son and DIL, live with us so I of course had to tell the kids what was happening (2 of them will be 4 and 5 next month and the other is eight) because for one, I take care of them when my son ad DIL work (which is most of the day and most days of the week and even when they are home they're always up my butt....lol), and two, they will not be able to jump on or around me like they're used to. Not to mention my time away for surgery.

They asked why I need it done and I said for health reasons so Gigi doesn't need her medication (hopefully) any longer and to prevent further problems with my health. But they were more concerned with why they couldn't lay on my lap and jump around and play with me. LOL So I explained how I will have some boo boos on my stomach and I told them once I came home I would show them so they knew what I was talking about. But in the meantime, I showed them a picture of the stomach of someone who had already had it done.

We often watch medical shows here at home and they have seen instances of surgeries being performed so they kinda understand what's happening. It's really the "why" they don't fully get. They know I take medicines and will hopefully not have to eventually down the line but they're kids, they don't fully get why one has to take medicine to begin with. I mean the 8 year old gets it but the other two, ehh. LOL Anyway, in all my explaining I think they get enough of what's going on.

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My kids are 3 (twins) so I told them I would be eating differently for a little while. I’ve talked to them a lot about how food is medicine and how foods help us stay strong and have good immune systems. I try to point out what nutrients are in the foods we eat.
I have not gotten into surgery and why but I always try to avoid attributing value to certain bodies over others. I want to keep the focus on feeling healthy and strong. All bodies feel healthy and strong at different weights.

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This is exactly what I was wondering! Really appreciate you guys sharing your experiences. I think we'll talk abut it this weekend. Keeping it health-focused is really what seems to make sense, because that's the whole point!

Thank you Mamas and Grandmas!

Also - - Happy Mother's Day!! ❤️

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My son was 9 when I had my surgery in July. He is 10 now. I was honest with him. I told him that I had liver disease caused by being so overweight, and also how much I didn't like not being able to do things with him (he is skinny and very active.), and I wanted a chance to live as long as possible for him. I have him a chance to express any concerns and questions and he has probably been my biggest supporter and cheerleader from the beginning. I'm lucky, because he's a wonderful kid (no, I'm not biased at all lol), but he really handled all of it well, especially since he couldn't see me in the hospital because of COVID.
I think most kids are able to understand and it's just best to explain it at their age level.
I'm an RN and I've worked with pediatrics a lot, so I just kind of took the same approach I did in the ER when I had to explain things to my pediatric patients.

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3 minutes ago, STLoser said:

My son was 9 when I had my surgery in July. He is 10 now. I was honest with him. I told him that I had liver disease caused by being so overweight, and also how much I didn't like not being able to do things with him (he is skinny and very active.), and I wanted a chance to live as long as possible for him. I have him a chance to express any concerns and questions and he has probably been my biggest supporter and cheerleader from the beginning. I'm lucky, because he's a wonderful kid (no, I'm not biased at all lol), but he really handled all of it well, especially since he couldn't see me in the hospital because of COVID.
I think most kids are able to understand and it's just best to explain it at their age level.
I'm an RN and I've worked with pediatrics a lot, so I just kind of took the same approach I did in the ER when I had to explain things to my pediatric patients.

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

Very helpful. You're right, I also wanted to give them a chance to ask questions or voice any concerns they might have. Appreciate the input 😊

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Very helpful. You're right, I also wanted to give them a chance to ask questions or voice any concerns they might have. Appreciate the input [emoji4]
Glad to be of help! I'm sure you will find that your kids are an amazing help and support. :)

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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