Scared to have surgery!

[Maisey 260]

I had RNY and had a good recovery. I had discomfort after the surgery but not actual pain. I had pain medication in the hospital and went home the next day and never needed any more. I didn't need dry mouth spray and was drinking Water and walking the halls within a few hours after surgery.

People are more likely to post about problems than successes. Honestly, I think the real work begins after your physical recovery.

Best wishes.

[Shanell 30]

I had RNY and had a good recovery. I had discomfort after the surgery but not actual pain. I had pain medication in the hospital and went home the next day and never needed any more. I didn't need dry mouth spray and was drinking Water and walking the halls within a few hours after surgery.
People are more likely to post about problems than successes. Honestly, I think the real work begins after your physical recovery.
Best wishes.

Thank you!

Sent from my SM-S515DL using BariatricPal mobile app

[Blueslily 94]

8 hours ago, Shanell said:

Give it God!! I don't know your beliefs but I will be praying for your comfort in this time and that he gives a settle mind. You got this!!!! Your doing this for YOU and YOUR HEALTH you don't have room for negative thoughts, negative thoughts didn't get you this far YOU GOT THIS!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT. BLESSINGS

Sent from my SM-S515DL using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank you so much! Really appreciate it. I think these two weeks have been harder also because I'm not telling my family about the surgery. A close friend knows and I talk with him. But, that's it. So, I have all these feelings churning and not many outlets. I have a therapist, but she is not totally on board with it mainly because she had a couple patients who did other surgeries and "cheated" because they didn't want to follow the guidelines. I told her I won't cheat and I'm too serious about this to mess it up. Surgery is serious. Thanks so much for listening.

[Blueslily 94]

12 hours ago, Slightly Less Fatty Matty said:

Postponing it won’t change anything, will just give you more time to be worried. Part of the problem with these forums is it gives an unrealistic picture of potential problems. Very few people post “hey this has been easy and I have zero complications… what do I do?” It’s a little like reading product reviews… people are far more likely to leave a review if they have a bad experience vs an expected normal experience.

But here’s a positive “review” of my surgery experience that is true….

I had vsg and had zero problems. I drove to Mexico with a pocket full of cash during a pandemic and had a surgical procedure performed and had to use Google translate to communicate. I had zero complications, the results have been amazing. it was so easy that I sometimes feel like I took the easy way out but I don’t give a damn because I’m healthier and happier about myself than I have been since I was in elementary school in the 80s. I haven’t thrown up, I haven’t had any issues with food not agreeing with me. I haven’t exercised or walked any more than a typical adult and the weight just fell off with no effort. I’m now considered healthy, my doctor is happy my family is happy and I’m happy. I wish I did it sooner and I’m glad I didn’t postpone it.

I had some of the same worries many of us do. “This is going to be forever. Do I really need to do this to my body. Once it’s done there’s no going back. What if x y or z happens.” Those are typical thoughts. What is not typical? Having serious complications. It’s exceedingly rare. It is a common procedure and I’d bet your surgeon has done it 1000s of times, I bet his assistants have helped 1000s of times, and I bet everyone who is there to support you in the hospital has seen and dealt with 1000s of people who were worse off and pulled through because of their care and dedication. And I’d also bet that when it’s all finished, a year from today you’ll think “I wish I did this sooner.”

It’s normal to be scared, YOU haven’t done this 1000 times, but the people around you that you need to get through this have. We have too (collectively), and post op we will be here to help with any bumps and bruises and worries and anything else you may have questions about. Not having problems is certainly not a guarantee anyone can give you. Having complications from being too big is also not a guarantee. But the odds speak for themselves… you’re far more likely to have serious complications from being too big vs having gastric surgery. It’s your call to choose which set of potential problems you wish to live with though. Either way we’re here to help you as you decide.

Wow, you are so brave! Thanks for such a great response. I totally get it about negative postings. I love traveling and I see negative comments a lot on travel forums, but some of them make me shake my head. But, I had seen a discussion thread on here that said that it's kind of the culture here to steer to the positive and not be honest about some things. So, after I read that and read a series of postings about lots of complications, I was like 'oh shoot, if I'm only seeing just some people be honest about complications, then there must be a ton more who just aren't saying anything.' Oh, that messed me up.

Also, I should have clarified my comment about pushing the surgery back two weeks. That's due to something that's happening at work during the beginning of April which is when i will have my surgery. I'm usually the lead for that project every year. But, if I'm out for my surgery, I won't be the lead. And that will stick out a ton to folks and they will wonder where am I and why am I MIA during a peak time for me at work. I'm really trying to fly under the radar about this surgery because some people can be super nosey. I'm a very private person so I won't answer personal questions at work. But, after reading the replies here to my post, I'm feeling like 'whatever, I'm going to have my surgery and just won't be there'. I'm planning to take 3-4 weeks off. I want to be home when I'm going through the initial phases and trying to figure out how my new tummy will respond to liquids then pureed food, then soft, etc. At work I'm really busy so I'm concerned that if I go back to work when Im trying to learn my new pouch, I won't be as mindful and eat enough or when I need to. I don't want to mess this up. But, if I find that I'm ok, I will return to work sooner than planned.

Sorry for the novel.

Again, thanks so much for the message.

[Blueslily 94]

12 hours ago, Jnfinney said:

I am about to have surgery (in 5 days) and I have had some of the same thoughts as you. However, I always go back and think to myself, "all my efforts to maintain a healthy weight on my own have failed, and I have been acquiring more and more weight-related health issues." Overall, I decided to view this almost as a 'once in a lifetime opportunity' because of these reasons.

Hope everything goes well for you!

[Blueslily 94]

11 hours ago, catwoman7 said:

Major complications aren't very common. Many (I would say most) of us have no complications at all - or only minor ones that are "fixable". The above poster is right in that people are far more likely to post when they have a negative experience than a positive one, so it gives the perception that problems are a lot more widespread than they actually are. I read horror stories a couple weeks before surgery, too, and they scared the crap out of me, so I made myself stop reading them. I'm very grateful that I had my surgery and would do it again in a heartbeat. I was afraid if I stayed at almost 400 lbs I wouldn't live to see my 60th birthday. But here I am - 60th birthday come and gone - and healthier and more active than I've been in years.

Thanks. I thought about no more reading as well. I am now skipping posts when I can kind of tell it will be a negative story.

But, I dont want to stop reading everything because I'm still learning about all this. Like today was the first time that I've heard that you have to sleep upright for weeks after surgery? Is that true? I haven't researched that a lot yet, but it surprised me because that was just the first time that I had heard that. I mean I will do it to make sure I dont have complications, but it just makes me wonder what else do I not know. My pre-op appt is next week. So, maybe the clinic was going to tell me that next week. It's not a complication of course, I just like to have information when in doing this so I can set myself up for success and not mess up something during recovery.

[Blueslily 94]

7 hours ago, Shanell said:

Yes I heard of the gas pain, so I'm taking notes before friday

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I've heard that the solution is walk, walk, walk. So, I plan to walk, walk, walk!!

[catwoman7 10,943]

37 minutes ago, Blueslily said:

Thanks. I thought about no more reading as well. I am now skipping posts when I can kind of tell it will be a negative story.

But, I dont want to stop reading everything because I'm still learning about all this. Like today was the first time that I've heard that you have to sleep upright for weeks after surgery? Is that true? I haven't researched that a lot yet, but it surprised me because that was just the first time that I had heard that. I mean I will do it to make sure I dont have complications, but it just makes me wonder what else do I not know. My pre-op appt is next week. So, maybe the clinic was going to tell me that next week. It's not a complication of course, I just like to have information when in doing this so I can set myself up for success and not mess up something during recovery.

I didn't sleep sitting up. I've read about some people sleeping in recliners the first week or so because it was easier to get in and out of them, though. I slept in my regular bed but propped myself up with some extra pillows. I bought a wedge pillow when I had plastic surgery two years later - that probably would have been nice when I had RNY as well....then I wouldn't have necessarily needed the extra pillows.

I didn't hurt at all when I was lying down, but my abs hurt when I transitioned (e.g., went from lying down to sitting up or standing. It felt like I'd done about 100 crunches the night before). So being partially propped up with pillows or a wedge pillow does help with the transitioning. And it's really just for the week or so. Or at least it was for me.

[JustJazzy 67]

14 hours ago, Slightly Less Fatty Matty said:

Postponing it won’t change anything, will just give you more time to be worried. Part of the problem with these forums is it gives an unrealistic picture of potential problems. Very few people post “hey this has been easy and I have zero complications… what do I do?” It’s a little like reading product reviews… people are far more likely to leave a review if they have a bad experience vs an expected normal experience.

But here’s a positive “review” of my surgery experience that is true….

I had vsg and had zero problems. I drove to Mexico with a pocket full of cash during a pandemic and had a surgical procedure performed and had to use Google translate to communicate. I had zero complications, the results have been amazing. it was so easy that I sometimes feel like I took the easy way out but I don’t give a damn because I’m healthier and happier about myself than I have been since I was in elementary school in the 80s. I haven’t thrown up, I haven’t had any issues with food not agreeing with me. I haven’t exercised or walked any more than a typical adult and the weight just fell off with no effort. I’m now considered healthy, my doctor is happy my family is happy and I’m happy. I wish I did it sooner and I’m glad I didn’t postpone it.

I had some of the same worries many of us do. “This is going to be forever. Do I really need to do this to my body. Once it’s done there’s no going back. What if x y or z happens.” Those are typical thoughts. What is not typical? Having serious complications. It’s exceedingly rare. It is a common procedure and I’d bet your surgeon has done it 1000s of times, I bet his assistants have helped 1000s of times, and I bet everyone who is there to support you in the hospital has seen and dealt with 1000s of people who were worse off and pulled through because of their care and dedication. And I’d also bet that when it’s all finished, a year from today you’ll think “I wish I did this sooner.”

It’s normal to be scared, YOU haven’t done this 1000 times, but the people around you that you need to get through this have. We have too (collectively), and post op we will be here to help with any bumps and bruises and worries and anything else you may have questions about. Not having problems is certainly not a guarantee anyone can give you. Having complications from being too big is also not a guarantee. But the odds speak for themselves… you’re far more likely to have serious complications from being too big vs having gastric surgery. It’s your call to choose which set of potential problems you wish to live with though. Either way we’re here to help you as you decide.

Matty Thank You! Your post damn sure put my worries to rest 🤗

[Anthony A 2]

I too am having the surgery in April. This is making me feel a bit better lol.

[mswillis5 127]

11 hours ago, Blueslily said:

Thanks. I thought about no more reading as well. I am now skipping posts when I can kind of tell it will be a negative story.

But, I dont want to stop reading everything because I'm still learning about all this. Like today was the first time that I've heard that you have to sleep upright for weeks after surgery? Is that true? I haven't researched that a lot yet, but it surprised me because that was just the first time that I had heard that. I mean I will do it to make sure I dont have complications, but it just makes me wonder what else do I not know. My pre-op appt is next week. So, maybe the clinic was going to tell me that next week. It's not a complication of course, I just like to have information when in doing this so I can set myself up for success and not mess up something during recovery.

My wife and I had an extra pillow for a short time but that is it. We didn't have to sleep upright and had surgery on the same day. We also had no complications and have lost over 80lbs each since surgery on 11/11. This is the best decision we have ever made and we are doing so much more than we were able to previously.

[Blueslily 94]

3 hours ago, mswillis5 said:

My wife and I had an extra pillow for a short time but that is it. We didn't have to sleep upright and had surgery on the same day. We also had no complications and have lost over 80lbs each since surgery on 11/11. This is the best decision we have ever made and we are doing so much more than we were able to previously.

Congrats to both of you. Must be amazing to be going through the process with a partner and having that support.

[Blueslily 94]

Thanks everyone. Now I'm working on creating a shopping list and a prep list for home. Since I will be home alone during recovery, I want to purchase supplies in advance and have things ready at home to help me feel comfortable during the first couple weeks. Hoping not to buy too much because I don't want to have too much extra stuff at home that I won't actually use.

Any suggestions? What helped you during those first couple weeks?

[victoriaciminelli111 43]

Best decision I ever made.

[victoriaciminelli111 43]

Just make sure you have a good surgeon you trust. There are risks with any surgery my fiance and I learned that the hard way that anything can happen. But if you have a good surgeon everything will go great. My surgery was flawless. My fiance's was not and he passed away. Sometimes things do happen but most of the time these surgeries go off without a hitch.