Saying hi and freaking out

[jewelee 0]

Hi everyone,

I've posted a few times and thought maybe an intro would be a good thing. I'm being banded on 12/17, needing to lose 80-90 lbs. I don't have a specific goal number, it's been so long since I've weighed less than 150 that I have no idea where I should be.

Please tell me it's normal to be so excited one minute and completely freaking out the next. I couldn't sleep last night, just worried. I've had three c-sections and a diagnostic laparoscopy, and from those general anesthesia twice, so my brain is reasonably assured that I'm not going to DIE in surgery. Unfortunately the rest of me isn't as convinced. I was crying last night thinking that my two year old won't even remember me if I died.

It's fine to roll your eyes at me, I was doing that just typing that.

Did any of your have this same fear? How did you get past it? I really am excited to be getting a bad. I've thought about it for years, and every time I'd get serious about it, I'd also get pregnant. LOL! Not this time though.

[Lorsbander 1]

You are completely normal! My feelings fluctuated on a minute by minute basis before surgery! I also have 3 kids, and I thought about the same things you did. You are not a freak!

How I got past it? The weight I was losing and the health I was achieving was the motivation to continue on. The 2 weeks of liquid diet before surgery showed me that I could lose weight. It also was a wonderful kickstart.

It is worth it, girl! I love my band!

Best of luck to you!

[suecasb 0]

Hi Jewelee, yes it is perfectly normal to feel this way. I haven't got approval from Ins. yet and one day I am praying they say yes, and the next I'm hoping they turn me down so I have a good excuse not to get it done! Sometimes I change my mind about it every 10 minutes!! I know I really want the lap band..... but the waiting is making me crazy!!!:faint:Hang in there....we can do this!!!

[vballmom 0]

You are not alone, I will be banded on Dec 31st and I get so excited and then I start to get scared. I keep trying to focus on the positives. Just coming to work this morning I was trying to sing but get so winded because of my weight so I am looking forward to the small things. I have not been able to wear my wedding or engagement ring for about three years because of my weight and that is my first goal. I am not going to concentrate on the scales or inches just small things that I miss being able to do now. I can understand how you feel about your daughter I have an eleven year old and although I have full confidence in my surgeon, I checked him out and he is an expert in his field and that helps me feel more confident.

I am planning on writing a letter to my daughter before I have surgery, just incase so she will know why I took such a chance on improving my life by having the surgery for me and for her. I will tell her how much I treasure her and how important she is to me. I want to be able to do things with her that I am just to tired and unable to do with this body. I know that many others feel the same way, scared, excited, worried. When I am laying in bed and start thinking I stop myself by saying Hey it's time to sleep, you can start worrying at 5:15am when the alarm goes off. It doesnt always work but sometimes it does. Also prayer doesnt hurt either. Best wishes for a safe and speedy surgery & recovery.

[ALOCO53 0]

The same thing happened to me. I was so sure before I got a date (12/10) then all of a sudden I started doubting myself. I prayed a lot and I'm back to feeling confident that this is what I want to do. I do always lay out my insurance folder whenever I go into a hospital just in case. (Never know what you can catch there). I'm anxious now because surgery is just days away and I'm trying to fight a cold, if I still have it on Monday they won't do it, and it will be another month before I get a date.

[kimmi5207 0]

I also have the same fear. I have a son about to turn 15. I'm a single mom and I do not want him to end up with his father (long story).

That's my main fear. I have made out my will (although I need to get it signed & notarized). Actually I made it months ago before seriously considering this surgery because as a single parent, I need to have one. You never know when you walk out the door in the morning whether or not you will be in a car accident. Nobody plans to die, in general. I have my parents down as guardian for my son, but still, I worry about him ending up with his father just because I wanted to lose weight.

I've had a cesearean, not its not like I haven't had major surgery before, but that was 15 years ago!

I'm not really scared of dying during surgery (One of reasons I didn't do gastric was because it does have more dangers and I was scared of that surgery). I think my fear is....I don't know.

I go back and forth. Between completely content and excited and can't wait, to "what if something goes wrong and I lose my life for vanity?" But then I have to remember, its not for vanity. It's so that I can walk from my office to my car with out being in excrutiating back pain. It's so I can be healthy. So I can have more energy and do more things with my son. Yes, I want to look better and I think it will help with my self esteem, but I know I'm not doing it only for that reason. I wouldn't risk it just for the sake of looking good.

I think the idea of writing a letter to your child explaining why you made this choice is a great idea. I think I will do that, just in case.

The next 23 days are going to seem like forever!

[juliegeraci 7]

What you are going through is normal. I had a complete breakdown before surgery thinking to myself "what a pig, I can't believe I've done this to myself". Band surgery is fairly easy. Just take it easy the first week and make sure you follow the post op diet. Good luck!

[beebeej1 0]

Aloco53 go out and buy some zicam it really works! I did not get my date yet, but i'm still nervous, I had a breast reduction sept.05 and that was a 2 and a half hour surgery, this on is just 35 to 40 mins and not as serious, just pray, things will be fine.

[sewenup1 0]

The fear is completely normal, I would worry about you all if you didn't feel scared. I had my band op on Monday and I am what my friends term a 'hospital virgin' - never been in hospital for any reason before. Believe me I was scared sh**less at the thought.

This op is not a vanity, it is life saving, it may not be a long op but it is still very serious - any operation is serious, but remember your reasons for choosing to have the op and you will be fine.

Good luck to all of you

Danna:clap2:

[mrsgriffin2u 1]

I am also a "hospital virgin!" I've never had surgery of any kind. Congrats on your surgery. How's the pain/healing going?

[Kathie719 0]

I am nine days banded. I feel good, still a little weak. I too had fears and was very sick to my stomach before surgery. My fear is waking during surgery. I did not. It went pretty good. I did spend the night when most people get to go home, but my blood ox kept falling too low so they wanted to keep me on oxygen all night. You will do fine and soon you will be on the mend. I feel better everyday. good luck to all

[Kathie719 0]

I too was afraid and was sick right before surgery. My fear is waking during it, but that did not happen. All went pretty good except I had to spend the night when most are sent home that same day. My blood ox went down too low so they kept me on oxygen all night. I am 9 days out now and doing good and most of my discomfort is leaving. Not drinking much but it gets better every day and you all will do fine. I am 56 and have only one lung and am doing good. Good luck to all

[sewenup1 0]

I was afraid that I wouldn't go to sleep - sleeping tablets don't work on me - but had just moved onto the table and thought to myself I'm still wide awake and that was the last thing I remember before waking up in ICU - I have high blood pressure so that kept me there for the night. I am now recovering well but am still really tired - partly due to the anaesthetic and also being on a VLCD for 4 weeks preop.

Danna

[thinJen07 0]

I was banded in August and have lost 71 pounds! It's worth it, but I remember feeling just like you do right now--there's this thing inside you and you are restricted from eating---UGH!! But, be strong---your life is out there waiting for you...

[jewelee 0]

but had just moved onto the table and thought to myself I'm still wide awake and that was the last thing I remember before waking up in ICU

This was exactly how I felt before my last c-section - he's ready to cut and I'm still awake!! Then my very next thought was waking up in recovery.

I was banded in August and have lost 71 pounds! It's worth it, but I remember feeling just like you do right now--there's this thing inside you and you are restricted from eating---UGH!! But, be strong---your life is out there waiting for you...

This is SO encouraging! Thanks!

I am doing MUCH better today. No panic attacks in the night, just excitement.