Returning to work and how to deal with questioning coworkers...?

[GMS1213 0]

Hi!

So I've been off for little over a month for VSG surgery and heading back to work next week. I've told a few coworkers that I'm closer with about having surgery but majority doesn't know. Kind of nervous being put on the spot of why I've been gone for so long or why I look thinner. Has anyone else dealt with this?

[GradyCat 3,692]

I'd say "I've been sick and lost some weight"

[catwoman7 10,843]

I just told people I'd been working with a dietitian (or you could say a medically-supervised diet) and was exercising like a fiend. Skinny people believe this schlock (I was more honest with other obese people, though - they know better...)

[ChunkyCali 51]

Ohh good topic. Been starting to think about this one myself. I haven't told anyone that I work with that I'm looking to have surgery and don't think that I ever will. But I know that they're going to have questions.

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

I am a pro at deflection, so I was always super vague.
Where were you?
“Yeah, I had to have some time off but it’s great to be back!”
Why’d you have to have time off?
“I just had some stuff, too much to get into now but all taken care of and I’m back!” If you follow up with a question about them (what they’ve been doing, project at work, random work gossip) that generally ends it because people love to talk about themselves.

Then when anyone asks me if I’m losing weight I always say “I’m working on it!”
When they ask me how much i have lost I laugh and say “Not the amount I want yet but I’m still plugging away!”

I always try to end my answers on a positive note. I’m sure people have figured out that I’m not giving out details but if you’re cheerful about it people generally will stop pressing. Also once you’re done deflecting bring it back to something vaguely related you know they want to talk about and just like that you’re done.

[RTL1234 99]

Like blackcats, I’m a deflector. I usually just turn it around on them and then they just start talking away. Someone said “oh you’re withering away to nothing” (Mind you I’m only 53lbs down and still at 220, so not withering away). I just say “oh well I’m trying!” And giggle and turned it right around and said “I heard you...”. And off she went talking about herself.

My close people know about surgery, and I think one has told a few people to be honest because I feel like they know but they haven’t said anything. I’m not ashamed to have had the surgery, it’s just none of people’s business! I want to share, when I WANT to share.

[MiraMar 4]

Hi everyone! I'm 2 weeks out from VSG. I've only told my spouse and am lucky enough to work from home until likely the fall so have some time to think about how to handle talking about weight loss.

There are a couple of thin people in my life, including a coworker, who have always been very nosy about what I eat and how much. I think my body was a kind of "worse case scenario" for them and they were always looking for ways to remind themselves how not to become me.

This always annoyed me because, for the last three years, I have eaten very healthfully. Of course there were many years before that when I didn't eat as well. But for the last three years, I really pretty much ate the way I did when I was thin. Lean Protein, non-starchy veggies, whole foods, etc. I am certain I ate no worse than the people who were nosy about my diet. And I would lose 10 pounds here and there, then gain a bit back, but never made a real dent in my excess weight....which is why I decided on WLS.

I've looked through a lot of the old threads about how people talk about their weight loss to people they don't want to reveal WLS info to and a big thing a lot of people say is "I changed my diet." This is great because it's not a lie, but I also kind of don't want to give the few people in my life who were so nosy about my diet and I think assumed I was bingeing junk food the satisfaction of saying my diet needed changing...

I don't know if anyone else is in this situation? Or if I'm just being petty and proud? lol

[JMJames92 113]

I just told everyone at work (and anywhere else that people asked) the truth. I don't see how WLS can be seen negatively, but even if it is for some reason- screw them. You did it for you! I'm not sure of your gender and maybe the experience is different for men than it is for women but I only got very positive responses to the surgery and my weight loss. After a couple weeks people will get so used to the way you look that they will pretty much forget what you looked like pre-op.

[Circus321 58]

On 02/06/2021 at 19:09, MiraMar said:

Hi everyone! I'm 2 weeks out from VSG. I've only told my spouse and am lucky enough to work from home until likely the fall so have some time to think about how to handle talking about weight loss.

There are a couple of thin people in my life, including a coworker, who have always been very nosy about what I eat and how much. I think my body was a kind of "worse case scenario" for them and they were always looking for ways to remind themselves how not to become me.

This always annoyed me because, for the last three years, I have eaten very healthfully. Of course there were many years before that when I didn't eat as well. But for the last three years, I really pretty much ate the way I did when I was thin. Lean Protein, non-starchy veggies, whole foods, etc. I am certain I ate no worse than the people who were nosy about my diet. And I would lose 10 pounds here and there, then gain a bit back, but never made a real dent in my excess weight....which is why I decided on WLS.

I've looked through a lot of the old threads about how people talk about their weight loss to people they don't want to reveal WLS info to and a big thing a lot of people say is "I changed my diet." This is great because it's not a lie, but I also kind of don't want to give the few people in my life who were so nosy about my diet and I think assumed I was bingeing junk food the satisfaction of saying my diet needed changing...

I don't know if anyone else is in this situation? Or if I'm just being petty and proud? lol

I totally get what you’re saying. Personally I’d tell them that I found out I had a hormone problem that was prohibiting weight loss so I took steps to fix it and now the healthy diet and exercise routine that I’ve been doing for years is finally helping me lose weight. It’s not a lie, wls does correct hormonal imbalances that prevent us from losing weight and if you’ve already been eating healthy then your diet won’t have changed much (except smaller portions of course). Just a suggestion. I’m sorry they’re like that. It’s awful when people project their own insecurities onto others