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becoming a jerk and Insomnia



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Five months out and I am up most mornings between 3-5 and I have children and I work full time. By the end of the day when I get home, I barely have enough energy to be civil to the kids. I us meltonin twice a week to sleep. I find myself snappish at husband and kids. husband stays home and all he wants to do is talk I understand being home all day wanting adults to talk to. I give everything to everyone and at the end of the day my husband pays the price, i'm tired i want to be left alone. I want to be with my thoughts. Im eating and drinking enough but it is a constant what is next, liquds or food or exercise.... Im constantly thinking Did I take my Vitamins I dont want to be a jerk and I never had insomnia before surgery. advice please

Edited by Holodisplay

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I understand you wanting some quiet time when you get home. When I got home I used to say I’ve been nice to people all day long & I can’t be nice to anyone else.

I was a poor sleeper pre surgery - averaging about 5 hours a night so I understand your exhaustion & low tolerance levels. Not sleeping is an awful thing. After surgery I became a world champion sleeper - about 9 hrs a night sometimes more. Unfortunately that seems to have changed & I’ll have a couple of bad nights & then a good night. Hope I’m not reverting back to my old habits. ☹️

Have to question how effective melatonin really is though. My mother was prescribed melatonin & took it every night. She was told it could take a year for levels to build up & the benefits to be realised . Well, it’s been 2 years & she still doesn’t sleep.

Not sure how old you are, but poor sleep can be a symptom of peri menopause.

Hope you find a solution soon.

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I had serious anger issues for a while. I have had a therapist for a while. I came to realize that I had expectations of everyone that were not realistic and that they were not there to serve me. I also felt I did everything for everyone and never got to do what I wanted. So my advice is work is frustrating but find something at the end of the day or weekend that you will look forward to. Back then I started Tae Kwon do lessons again.

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You certainly have a full plate. How about trying a Tylenol PM, at night and when you get home take a 30 minute walk or alone time, then approach the family with love. You have given up the one thing you used to stuff anger, food, and you need a new way to approach it. Rather than getting mad sit down with your family and let them know what you need. Maybe a walk, time alone in your room to unwind, but always keep in mind the needs of the others too. Maybe your hubby could do something he likes to do when you get home so he has something else in his life besides home and children. As a stay-at-home mom, I can appreciate where he is coming from. I hope you catch up on your sleep. Make bedtime a routine and I have found the Tylenol PM a God send. Oh if you are perimenopausal talk to your doctor. I started an anti-depressant then. Your hormones got a bit wacky then and I was always angry with my family.

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check your thyroid. It doesn’t mean you might have any health issues, but rapid weight loss may cause our hormonal levels fluctuate. An endocrinologist should be able to track and adjust that.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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