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How do you handle the "How much have you lost" question?



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I lie! LOL!! I don't want them doing the math and figuring how much I used to weigh! I start out vague, "I'm not sure exactly, I haven't weighed myself lately" which is also a huge lie as I weigh myself 10x a day! LOL!! If they really push, I say around 40 or 50, Depends on my mood! ha ha!

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I have no problem admitting how much I've lost, Im proud of every little evil pound I lose. Like many of you, I've told very few people outside of my family about the wls. When someone asks me how I lost the weight, I tell them the truth, well partially. I simply say a lot of hard work with assistance of a nutritionist. I think people tend to think wls is taking the easy way out. I'm here to say, and I am sure everyone of you will agree, this is the hardest thing I have ever done.

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I have only had those who know I had the surgery (not many folks, and only the family I live with) ask me, and I just go ahead and tell them. I don't get out much though. If anyone else asks, I may say I dunno... that I don't weigh myself (lie). Those I definitely do NOT want to know about the surgery will get the "I am on a medically supervised diet" line, along with an "oh, I think it was about X lbs down at my last appointment."

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Hmmm...maybe I'll give my response to other questions that are noneyabizness: "Why would you ask me THAT?" LOL

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Once I got over 160-ish lbs years ago, I stopped feeling comfortable admitting my weight (...as i gained up to 235 lbs).

At around 4 months post-op, when people started noticing I was losing weight, I would answer the "how much have you lost" question, but felt slightly embarrassed about it.

As I got further and further away from 235 lbs, that slight embarrassment turned into FULL ON full-of-myself-confidence; so much so that I have been known to pull out a "before" picture of me in my underwear in all my obese glory to prove to them, yes, I was that fat.

BFF waxed philosophical way back and I said that the level of comfort I have to show pics of my bigger self is cuz I no longer identify with big me, so I can look at those pics and not feel bad. I think she's right.

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Guess I never minded people asking how much weight have I lost. But I did mind when people would go further with it and say you need to stop losing weight...etc
That’s when I change the subject or say oh I’ve lost everything I wanted to. People have no filter now a days. Returned a breast augmentation bra to Amazon at the Kohl’s store yesterday and the girl said to me “oh you got your breasts done” while I said yes. It occurred to me afterwards that that was super nosy of her and kinda rude to blurt out. People have no filters now a days. I don’t let it bother me much though. The asking about the weight. I’m proud of myself. Be proud of your accomplishment and don’t let anyone take that away from you by making you feel weird. Turn it around and start asking them personal questions maybe?

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I just say “quite a bit”. Usually a conversation ender. If they are going to push it I will then compliment something on them “oh I love your ring /shoes/ bag. Get them to focus on themselves or something else. I lost weight to be healthy not to attract attention. Good friends know what I am doing/ have done. If someone asks with concern - as in are you alright you have lost so much weight - I smile and thank them for noticing and admire their ring/shoes....

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I used to get that all the time I would tell them I lost half a person. But I had my surgery so long ago I don’t get asked anymore

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Easy...i don’t answer it lol. I would never ask someone how much they gained right lol, so i just don’t talk about my weight at all with anyone. It’s weird to me.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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