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Maryuumah: PLEASE create it. It will be IMMENSELY valuable to MANY people including myself.

Thank you.

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On 6/27/2021 at 10:34 PM, MandM1188 said:

Did you make a LGBTQ community here?👀😍🥰  I would love to be part of it. My weight gain was partially due to challenges I faced in my sexual orientation journey in my early 20s for sure.

Agreed!!! I think a lot of folks who have struggled with coming to terms with/ accepting their sexuality have also struggled with food or body image!

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On 12/27/2020 at 15:27, AZhiker said:






WHY? Weight loss surgery is weight loss surgery, with the same challenges and victories for everyone. We don't need to know someone's race, age, gender, or sexual preference to offer encouragement, advice, and support.


Exactly totally agree with this comment! We’re all in this together ❤️ no need to differentiate.

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Weight loss is weight loss, of course, but there are things that LGBTQ+ people may have to deal with that don't really have parallels in the straight community. As an example:

The bear movement among gay men was started in direct response to body-shaming of fat gay men by lean gay men. It was truly awful—gay bars, which were the only safe spaces, started putting what were called "cow catchers" out front—poles set narrowly together, so that only people with lean body types could pass through without turning their bodies or hitching. If you couldn't pass through without turning or hitching, you couldn't go in. So the fat hairy gay men created their own safe spaces (440 Castro in SF and Rockbar in NYC are examples) and their own community.

But flash forward thirty years or so and now the bear community has its own judgmental labels and body shaming. Oh, he's not fat enough to be a bear. Oh, he's not hairy enough to be a bear, he's just a chub. Oh, he thinks he's a cub but he's just a skinny old otter. Someone who is gay and identifies as a bear (hi!) who then loses the weight may lose his community, which makes compliance just that much harder. Or he could lose his relationship, because maybe his partner is only into big bears.

I'm fortunate in that I don't think I'll have that problem, but it's an example of a situation that only gay men face. There could be situations particular to lesbian women, to trans people (who face issues getting quality medical care even when not obese), for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Does it warrant its own forum? I don't know. Maybe, because if you're a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you're searching for answers to your problems, finding a "safe space", or at least a collection of LGBTQ+ WLS issues all in one place, could be a really good thing. I just don't know how much traffic it would see.

Edited by vikingbeast

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Vikingbeast- thank you for saying something. You’re absolutely right!!!!

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On 07/07/2021 at 20:15, vikingbeast said:



Weight loss is weight loss, of course, but there are things that LGBTQ+ people may have to deal with that don't really have parallels in the straight community. As an example:




The bear movement among gay men was started in direct response to body-shaming of fat gay men by lean gay men. It was truly awful—gay bars, which were the only safe spaces, started putting what were called "cow catchers" out front—poles set narrowly together, so that only people with lean body types could pass through without turning their bodies or hitching. If you couldn't pass through without turning or hitching, you couldn't go in. So the fat hairy gay men created their own safe spaces (440 Castro in SF and Rockbar in NYC are examples) and their own community.




But flash forward thirty years or so and now the bear community has its own judgmental labels and body shaming. Oh, he's not fat enough to be a bear. Oh, he's not hairy enough to be a bear, he's just a chub. Oh, he thinks he's a cub but he's just a skinny old otter. Someone who is gay and identifies as a bear (hi!) who then loses the weight may lose his community, which makes compliance just that much harder. Or he could lose his relationship, because maybe his partner is only into big bears.




I'm fortunate in that I don't think I'll have that problem, but it's an example of a situation that only gay men face. There could be situations particular to lesbian women, to trans people (who face issues getting quality medical care even when not obese), for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.




Does it warrant its own forum? I don't know. Maybe, because if you're a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you're searching for answers to your problems, finding a "safe space", or at least a collection of LGBTQ+ WLS issues all in one place, could be a really good thing. I just don't know how much traffic it would see.


This. And to those who think otherwise, kindly just move along.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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