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More and more, the people around me have been calling me "skinny", "skinny Minnie" "slim" etc. as nicknames. ("Hey skinny!", "How you doing slim?") I know their intentions are good, but it almost feels like a mockery as I am clearly still obese. I get that I have lost a large amount of weight but I am FAR from being what one would consider skinny.

It also leaves me in this weird place where I feel I have to tell them that I know I am not and that I have a lot more to go still.

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Yeah, you will notice that EVERYONE will seem to want to comment on your weight loss. It does get annoying.

How about an all-in-one response: “Thanks for noticing, I’m working on it!”

Edited by ms.sss

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1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

Yeah, you will notice that EVERYONE will seem to want to comment on your weight loss. It does get annoying.

How about an all-in-one response: “Thanks for noticing, I’m working on it!”

That's pretty much what I go with. Some variation of "Thanks! I'm getting there"

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Just kindly ask them to stop commenting on your body if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m of the school of thought that you don’t comment on people’s bodies no matter what, but I guess it can depend on the situation.

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10 hours ago, MsMocie said:

I have a different problem, norwegians are supposed to be so polite, not say anything that will cause people offence etc. So they just don't say anything, they just stare at me looking for what they can say since weight is a no no to talk to a person about.

When I saw people for the first time in years after I lost all the weight, they generally said nothing about my new size. A couple of people asked if I was feeling okay, and I finally realized that quite a few people thought I might be seriously ill. I started taking the initiative to tell people how great I was feeling after working hard to lose so much weight, and it seemed to make people feel much more comfortable talking about it.

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I have a cousin and her husband who comment on my weight inappropriately. In the parking lot before my father's funeral, her husband told me I looked like I had lost some weight. My response was, "Could we please stop talking about my weight?" And he did.

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I had a coworker come up to me and wanted to talk about my weight loss. I'm a *ahem* mature age--66. She was afraid to bring it up-she worried that I was sick. I love it when people notice, but I just thank them for noticing. So if people are joking with you, take it in stride--it's their way of complimenting you for a job well done! You worked hard for it, own it!😁

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Yeah I get how you feel. A couple of people said it to me & I felt as if they were almost taunting me because, like you, at the time I still had a way to go. It was like ‘hey skinny’ really meant here we go again she’ll put it all back on again or she’s still so fat. But that could have been my twisted thinking.

I felt there was much more support & encouragement in a close friend quietly saying I was looking good or she was happy for me.

I found it really awkward when people would ask if I was sick.

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On 6/26/2020 at 1:25 PM, alissajs said:

More and more, the people around me have been calling me "skinny", "skinny Minnie" "slim" etc. as nicknames. ("Hey skinny!", "How you doing slim?") I know their intentions are good, but it almost feels like a mockery as I am clearly still obese. I get that I have lost a large amount of weight but I am FAR from being what one would consider skinny.

It also leaves me in this weird place where I feel I have to tell them that I know I am not and that I have a lot more to go still.

My personal favorite..... Thin mint.... a good friend called me that.... i rather enjoyed it.... hehehe

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More and more, the people around me have been calling me "skinny", "skinny Minnie" "slim" etc. as nicknames. ("Hey skinny!", "How you doing slim?") I know their intentions are good, but it almost feels like a mockery as I am clearly still obese. I get that I have lost a large amount of weight but I am FAR from being what one would consider skinny.
It also leaves me in this weird place where I feel I have to tell them that I know I am not and that I have a lot more to go still.

People just can't offer up a good compliment nowadays. Example- You have the prettiest eyes, and your weight lost is looking great on you. Keep up the good work!. [emoji846]

Sent from my SM-G781U using BariatricPal mobile app

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My husband has the best response for this. When he was losing weight his co-workers would mention he was getting slim/looking good/losing weight and he would say mockingly "and therefore I have value now?!" [emoji1787] It's a great way to make people laugh and think at the same time.

Sent from my SM-G988U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

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Yeah, I agree that it's well-intentioned but not helpful while you're still in weight-loss mode.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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