thewifehere 1 Posted March 3, 2020 (edited) My husband and I just started exploring weight loss surgery literally last week… I brought up the concept of the lap band because I thought it was a temporary tool he could use to lose the weight he had been wanting to lose and then you can take it out after a year. We have met with two surgeons and my husband has decided that the sleeve is probably the route he wants to go. He is thinking of getting the surgery in three or four weeks. To me this seems sudden, he is in his 30s and weighs 300 pounds at 6 feet tall. He was overweight as a child and had to diet in high school and work really really hard to be at a “normal weight.” He’s gained over 100 pounds in the last 9-10 years (8-10lbs per year) and had a lot of yo-yo dieting. He says he does not want to struggle for the rest of his life trying to get back down to a normal weight and stay there. We have been married 11 years. I am trying not to pretend I can really understand where he is coming from, I am fortunate I have not ever had weight issues. Does this seem too sudden? I do not want him to make a decision that he will regret the rest of his life. He says what he would be missing out on is over eating and this would allow him to live the healthier lifestyle we have talked about for years. We are very much so two people who once we decide on something we have our mind made up, I get it. I just want to make sure he’s making the right decision and I want to support him the best way I can, but I want to make sure it is the right decision. Thank you in advance for your responses. This forum has been very helpful to me so far. edit: The doctor we met with today who he would likely go with is an older gentleman who has been doing this forever and he gets lots and lots of good reviews. He says he thinks my husband would make all of this look easy, my husband is a broad shouldered muscular man in very good health other than being overweight with sleep apnea. It didn’t seem like he was blowing smoke. Maybe only good things can come from this. Edited March 3, 2020 by thewifehere 1 breavsg reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catwoman7 11,240 Posted March 3, 2020 it took me about 10 years from the time I first thought of it until I was wheeled into the operating room. I wish I would have done it years ago - although I think it's important to be in the right mindset for it, and I'm not sure I was back then. I probably wouldn't have been as successful back then as I was when I was finally ready for it. But if he's in the right frame of mind, then he should be good to go! 1 Krimsonbutterflies reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boater Girl 8 Posted March 3, 2020 I guess everyone has to have their own comfort level with their decision-making process. In my case, I literally just did the same thing!! My husband has been nothing but supportive and encouraging. Although I'm older and had suffered with the yo-yo for about 25 years, I had just turned 50 and I was just tired of continuing to ache in my hips and knees. I knew it was only gonna get worse. it's one of those things that when you know, you know. You just have to know what you're getting yourself into. I'm also really gonna get professional help to take a hard look at what behaviors were behind the weight as well. Gonna try to treat the whole person. I did a lot of research - like A LOT - and came to my decision within the same time period. I did visit my doctor who confirmed that it would help. We did blood work and confirmed that there was nothing medically stopping me. There would only be good things on the other side. So me and my husband jumped in with both feet. Surgery scheduled on Mar 23! 1 1 Lily66 and PuddinJasper reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xx1jpt5xx 93 Posted March 3, 2020 So I'm in my 30s 6' 360lbs. I made the decision pretty quickly. I think most people do. I tried everything before going to the doctor so that made the decision easy. My wife is like you, never had any weight issues so she couldn't relate to how I was feeling. I dont think you can. I'm only a week out of surgery but if you have any specific questions, let me know. 2 Krimsonbutterflies and KarmaNina reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GreenTealael 25,539 Posted March 3, 2020 I decided in 1 day. Literally went from knowing nothing to going to the seminar the next day. Then 3 days later I was in the surgeons office signing on and beginning preop requirements. Around 5 months later surgery, it could have been sooner but I took my children on an extended vacation. When you know, you know. 2 1 Krimsonbutterflies, Lily66 and KarmaNina reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recidivist 1,141 Posted March 4, 2020 Hard to say in my case. I knew that such surgery existed years ago and had sort of considered it for about three years, without doing any research or taking any active steps. I had a full physical in December 2018 and my doctor told me I might have 10-12 years left if I didn't take drastic steps to lose weight. (I was 59 at the time.) He recommended gastric bypass. I saw the surgeon in early January 2019 and had the surgery in early March. I would call that a quick decision. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
orange_lily 69 Posted March 4, 2020 I also decided pretty quickly. The insurance approval and scheduling process took about 3 months, but I would have done the surgery immediately if I could have. I had never really considered surgery, but there was like a flip that switched in my head when my PCP encouraged it. I am still pre-op, so I may come to regret the decision. We will see. I am glad the appt with the doctor went well! Check out some of the guys around here that have sleeves. There are some pretty inspiring stories and might help calm your worries! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
summerset 5,265 Posted March 4, 2020 I decided quickly but insurance didn't. 2 Recidivist and Krimsonbutterflies reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AJ Tylo 1,399 Posted March 4, 2020 Once you realize you are killing yourself its Game on! I decided to do this and 15 days later went in. No reason to think about it you are killing yourself now and the time has come, you know it! I just wish i would have done it 15 years ago! I agree the sleeve is better then the band, the band is temporary and your past track record suck in terms of being healthy, My only advice is this is a tool and get your workshop in order, Welcome and it will be the best decision you guys have ever made 1 KarmaNina reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrungeGrownUp 10 Posted March 4, 2020 21 hours ago, GreenTealael said: I decided in 1 day. Literally went from knowing nothing to going to the seminar the next day. Then 3 days later I was in the surgeons office signing on and beginning preop requirements. Around 5 months later surgery, it could have been sooner but I took my children on an extended vacation. When you know, you know. I decided in a day too and the following day I did the seminar online. Unfortunately, I can't get into the surgeon as quickly. 1 GreenTealael reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
momof3_angels 465 Posted March 7, 2020 I sort of did... I had thought about it for a whike after a friend had success, but I didnt think I qualified for it. Gast forward a bit and I had an abnormal EKG, was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, and then had an echocardiigram that confirmed my left heart ventrical was enlarged. I left my cardiologist appointment determined to lose weight anyway I can. So when I got home that day I reserarched WLS and decided I mush have it. I made an appt with my PCP and requested a referral. Saw my Cardiologist in March, my PCP appt was in the beginning of May, and started the process from there.Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
over65 133 Posted March 14, 2020 I never considered surgery despite being obese for past 40 years. I saw my PCP for annual visit and he said I was pre-diabetic. I watched my father die of coronary artery disease and diabetes over 10 year period. It was horrible. No way I was going down that path. I went to seminar the very next week and decided immediately that surgery was my best possible way to stop progression of my health problems. Sent from my SM-T580 using BariatricPal mobile app Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jg7979 48 Posted March 16, 2020 My best friend told me I was gross fat and needed to do something about it (there is quite a bit of context I’m leaving out btw)....two weeks later I went to the informational session and met the surgeon the following week. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites