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Who keeps their surgery a secret? Possible?



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I am considering the sleeve. But it's important to me that my 11 year old does not know. I'm not wanting to debate my reasons on why I'd rather keep it a secret from her but it has me thinking about privacy. Do you keep it a secret? How? Is it possible? Obviously it's no one's business but my own. I will have my husband's support. But for those who have managed to keep it quiet from loved ones... how have you made that work? What might keep me from being able to do so? Thank you!!

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Only person who knows is my husband!

I've kept it a secret from my children, and since I only spent 1 night in the hospital, we just told them I was away for work. When I came home from the hospital, I had a little pain, but my bigger issue was fatigue as I was sleeping all day, which I covered up by saying I had a sinus infection/headache. Kids were at school during the day anyway, and I was able to perk up and "fake it" during the evenings!

I have found it very easy to keep my little secret!

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I only told my immediate family (husband and teenage children) and one coworker that I work directly with and who covers my work when I am off. This was done mainly for a safety standpoint because I had never had surgery before so If something happened they would know what was going on.

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It's possible to keep it a secret, although some people may guess and figure it out. Does your 11 year old live with you? If yes, you need to come up with a plausible reason you are gone for 24 hours or so... and come back exhausted, in pain, and eating strangely. And why you might miss a few days to weeks of work if that is the case. I personally didnt tell my husband until I needed his help scheduling my appointments while I was out of town. I didnt tell my daughter who was 15 until a few days before surgery. I didnt tell my grown and flown sons until a month after surgery, and only because one was coming home for a visit and woukd know something is up. I will NOT tell my parents, siblings, or other family. A lot of co-workers now know, but that was my choice. I see them at work every day and they know I missed a lot of work and lost weight rapidly. I just decided to open up to them, but after my medical leave. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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I have three kids under 10, I didn't tell them. I travel a lot for work so just told them I was on a trip when I was in hospital. I've told a few people now, at 5 months out, but still haven't told my kids. They know something is up as people keep commenting on my weight loss (turns out 32kg is pretty noticeable) but they don't need to know I had WLS. I'm focusing on eating heathy and exercising to try and be a good role model, so hopefully they won't end up on the weight rollercoaster like their Mum.

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Its definitely possible! I told my bf, parents and siblings. Until this day its still a secret :)

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When I had surgery, I only told my husband and maybe 3 very close friends. That's it. Not my children, not my parents, and not any extended family.

After a while, it didn't seem as important to me to keep it private and I told some other people. My adult children started asking questions about my health. They thought I was sick because I was losing so much weight and wasn't eating as much as before. The usual excuses of "another diet" started to fall flat with them. So, I told my kids. But, to this day no one in the rest of my family knows.

So, the privacy possibilities are yours. This is YOUR journey. Tailor it to your own personal needs. If you want to keep it close to your chest, you can certainly do that.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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