Not enough weight for surgery

[Slimmy-mommeee 92]

I'm 5'8". And please note that I'm a man. [emoji846]

Duly noted...lol

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[momof3_angels 465]

9 hours ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

So I have a 38.8 bmi, fatty liver disease, type 2 diabetes (barely and the number has gone down) and my insurance approved me for surgery on 3/2/20. I'm really excited but I keep feeling like like I'm not heavy enough for surgery. Does anyone else with a bmi under 40 feel that way? The crazy thing is I'm in constant pain from my joints neck and back so I'm not sure why these doubt keep coming.

You should look at this from a different perspective. You have fatty liver disease and type 2 diabetes as well as pain in your joints neck and back. Would you rather become fatter and acquire more problems before you resolve your weight issue? It is never too soon to take steps to improve your health. Losing weight is the most important step for many. You are making the brave choice to do what you need to do to get it done. Don't feel guilty about doing it! You know... first I was embarrassed and did not show my actual "weights" in my stats, thinking I was too lightweight to share with everyone here... when many weigh hundreds of pounds more than me. Then I realized over time, there are a lot of us lower BMI people on this website, just like me. And ALL of us, high bmi and lower bmi... we all have the same goals. To get to a healthier weight for a healthier body. The only difference is how much weight we have to lose and how fast we get to our goals. But... we all have to work to get there! And BTW, you will notice my actual weights are in my stats and ticker now. I changed it earlier this week. No reason not to share!

[Slimmy-mommeee 92]

You should look at this from a different perspective. You have fatty liver disease and type 2 diabetes as well as pain in your joints neck and back. Would you rather become fatter and acquire more problems before you resolve your weight issue? It is never too soon to take steps to improve your health. Losing weight is the most important step for many. You are making the brave choice to do what you need to do to get it done. Don't feel guilty about doing it! You know... first I was embarrassed and did not show my actual "weights" in my stats, thinking I was too lightweight to share with everyone here... when many weigh hundreds of pounds more than me. Then I realized over time, there are a lot of us lower BMI people on this website, just like me. And ALL of us, high bmi and lower bmi... we all have the same goals. To get to a healthier weight for a healthier body. The only difference is how much weight we have to lose and how fast we get to our goals. But... we all have to work to get there! And BTW, you will notice my actual weights are in my stats and ticker now. I changed it earlier this week. No reason not to share!

Thanks that is very encouraging and makes me glad I joined this forum. I know a lot of people dont like disclosing they are getting wls and I didnt quite understand. But now I do. I'm not certain if people think it's flattering for them to say I dont need to do this or they are ill informed. Either way I could do without their unsolicited opinions. A few close friends were not supportive until I explained my comorbidities. And I dont want to explain that to anybody else...it's my body and my health. How did you handle friends ds and family knowing? Did you tell anyone?

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[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

To tell or not to tell.... well that depends on how much you want people in your business and telling YOU what they think YOU should do and be...... Because trust in the fact that once you tell them, they will have an opinion. In 2009 when i had the band SX at first i only told family and a few close friends.... Well family told and so did the friends before i knew it..... EVERYONE knew.... and EVERYONE had something to say.... Mostly woman. Men were, good for you you look great. Woman were, you didn't need that, you weren't fat enough, or... I know of 2 people that died from WLS... Can't you just lose it with diet and exercise...?.... Really, of course, i can.. but keeping it off is a whole other problem. Then after they will start with the.... your too thin, how much are you going to lose.... blah blah blah..... So then i had to have my band removed and put back 30lbs.... and i know those same people were looking at me and waiting for me to get back up to 232lbs...... Hell no.

So, in those years, i divorced my husband of 26 years (he was not a supporter and hated my WL). Started dating an incredible man... He got a work promotion and asked me to move with him. My kids are grown and nothing to hold me back.... So i moved with him. I went from a town where everyone knows everyone to... NO ONE knew me.... In August i had the sleeve done (paid OOP 14K). I told my co-workers i was having a hernia repair (which was true). They also knew i was dieting for my pending wedding (we married this past September), so the WL was very excepting. Still only he knows and that's the way it will stay. It's sooooooo much better not telling. Not that im embarrassed... im not, it's just easier.

5'2" band SW 232 BMI 42, Sleeve SW 173.5 BMI 31.7............... today, 133.4 BMI 24.4 (Normal weight) I never had any co morbids.... not even at my heaviest.

[MaineDoc 31]

My starting BMI was 39.7 (with hypertension and high cholesterol) and after about 6 months of participating in the medically supervised weight loss program, my BMI is about 29.8. During the first few months of participating in the program I thought strongly about not pursuing surgery. However after giving it serious thought and reviewing my own personal weight loss history of having gained and lost about 500 lbs in my life and discussing with my surgeon it really became clear that this is the right (and really only) decision for me.

My hope is that I can finally get down to a weight I’ve always tried to get to, have come close to, but have never attained (about 185 lbs, BMI would be about 26 but I have a good amount of muscle mass). More than that, though, I hope to use the surgery as a tool to lock in long-term habits and changes so that I can maintain the weight loss long term and stop all this yo-yo’ing I’ve been doing for 20 years.

Just sharing in the event this perspective is helpful.

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

1 hour ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

I can't wait to enjoy clothes shopping again! And hiking with my boys. I truly want my life back. In college i was very physically active. After children, marriage (then divorce) that part of me got buried.Now my boys are older and I dont plan on having anymore babies, it's time to love me again.


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Clothes shopping gets harder LOL.. I find myself still going to the plus size sections. I recommend not buying a lot as you get to smaller sizes as the clothes only last a month or so. Last year i donated over 500 items. Now.. i buy maybe 3 or 4 outfits only and wait till the last possible moment to buy the next size down. My BMI was a lot higher, and no co morbidities, but nevertheless... i waited way to long but there is a reason for everything! I am glad i am on this journey.. Now i am trying to figure out how to stop the weight loss as i dont want to be too small LOL

[Lynda486 788]

11 hours ago, BadWolfGirl said:

I only had surgery a little over 2 weeks ago. I'm down 20 pounds. I had zero complications and very little to no pain. Was home the next afternoon and walking a ton. I feel great. Just saw the surgeon and my PCP and am already off four medications.

Who is your surgeon? I am from the CR area, but live in Missouri now. My first surgeon from Iowa has passed away I heard.

[BadWolfGirl 245]

Who is your surgeon? I am from the CR area, but live in Missouri now. My first surgeon from Iowa has passed away I heard.

Dr. Christopherson

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[patriciakristina09 0]

Following. My BMI is 37.9 and I’m 29 years old and have HIgh blood pressure. I’m still undecided and looking into gastric sleeve. The main thing holding me back is the possibility of suffering from GERD.

[GreenTealael 25,610]

13 hours ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

Your absolutely right. How bad should my health be before I took action? Deep down I know I'm making the right decision. I must be having those infamous preop jitters. Also people's opinions are getting in my head. Now everyone is an expert about my life...lol. Thanks alot!

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And always will be if they believe their opinions carry any weight

Good Luck ❤

[momof3_angels 465]

4 hours ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

Thanks that is very encouraging and makes me glad I joined this forum. I know a lot of people dont like disclosing they are getting wls and I didnt quite understand. But now I do. I'm not certain if people think it's flattering for them to say I dont need to do this or they are ill informed. Either way I could do without their unsolicited opinions. A few close friends were not supportive until I explained my comorbidities. And I dont want to explain that to anybody else...it's my body and my health. How did you handle friends ds and family knowing? Did you tell anyone?

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Initially I didn't really tell anyone. I wanted to be secretive in the beginning and I was... but that has slowly changed. So... I first started talking with a co-worker about it. She had it done 4 years ago (I was September 2019). I got a lot of support initially from her. I waited to tell my husband until I NEEDED him to know. Why/When did I need him to know? After my first appointments with my surgeon and nutritionist and I had to tell him because I was leaving the country for 5 weeks and I needed him to help me schedule some appointments for pre-surgery testing. He did NOT want me to have surgery. He made that very clear. But I insisted I was doing it, so he begrudgingly (sort of) helped me make appointments. He still tried to talk me out of surgery until the DAY OF surgery. He was scared I would die or something. But... he was also the one who took care of me in the hospital. Now he is proud of me for getting my health back. My daugther: I told her a few days before I had the surgery, only because she lives with me and she needed to know why I would spend the night in the hospital and then not go to work for a while. She is 16. She thinks it was stupid I had the surgery, but she doesn't give me much flak about it. My sons: I waited until a month after surgery to tell them, only when 1 was coming home for a visit. Both boys were surprised I did it, but they didn't really say anything bad about it. My younger son is still trying to just figure out what my new diet is lol. Co-workers: I ended up telling a couple before surgery and I knew they would be supportive. Otherwise, I was keeping it a secret initially. I still have not told the rest of my family (parents/siblings etc). I have no plans to tell anyone else. I did end up eventually telling everyone in my main office building and a few in other buildings that I work with... very selective with people outside my building. I will tell you, I was shocked at how interested and how supportive almost everyone has been! I get the most judgement from my own immediate family, but even that hasn't been unbearable or anything. My husband's reaction was out of fear for my health and safety. My daughter, just because she is 16 and judgmental of everything (mom and dad are ALWAYS an embarrassment stage). The only negative reaction I got from others was from someone who is much bigger than I was, who needs something like this much more than I did. And really... other than whatever she said in the first minutes after learning that I had surgery.... she has simply not talked to me much since. And that is OK with me. She isn't ready to face having surgery herself, so I won't talk about mine unless she asks. And she won't. And that is OK. If she changes her mind, I will share my experience. So... all in all... I am now happy to share with the people I am willing to share with. And the rest? If they figure it out, fine. If they don't, that is great too! I will tell you also, I have another co-worker who has asked a ton of questions and is now in the beginning stages of considering surgery for herself. I am so glad she knows she can come to me for support/guidance and I am happy to help her and anyone else thinking about going through the process.

Hope this helps!

Edited to add... my PCP was the one who referred me to my bariatric surgeon. She was great about it. My sleep Apnea doc didn't really say much. My OBGYN didn't care either way (But when I asked for more IV fluids for a procedure shortly after my VSG, he was happy to order them). Haven't seen my cardiologist since I decided to have surgery, but he wanted me to lose weight. If he isn't supportive or gives me a hard time about it, I would probably just switch docs. But I like this guy and I think he will be happy my weight is down.

Edited February 13, 2020 by momof3_angels

[momof3_angels 465]

3 hours ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

To tell or not to tell.... well that depends on how much you want people in your business and telling YOU what they think YOU should do and be...... Because trust in the fact that once you tell them, they will have an opinion.

I think this is definitely true for family and friends. That is why I am not telling my parents/siblings and more extended family. None of their business! Just my husband and kids because they are MY family. But thankfully I haven't gotten this from co-workers. Mind you, I only told a couple pre-op so there was nothing to talk me out of by the time most found out. Post-Op... almost everyone has been great. And they all have varying degrees of interest, but it has been overwhelmingly positive!

[momof3_angels 465]

3 hours ago, Jazzy1125 said:

Clothes shopping gets harder LOL.. I find myself still going to the plus size sections. I recommend not buying a lot as you get to smaller sizes as the clothes only last a month or so. Last year i donated over 500 items. Now.. i buy maybe 3 or 4 outfits only and wait till the last possible moment to buy the next size down. My BMI was a lot higher, and no co morbidities, but nevertheless... i waited way to long but there is a reason for everything! I am glad i am on this journey.. Now i am trying to figure out how to stop the weight loss as i dont want to be too small LOL

Yes, those of us with lower BMI's are very likely to go from XL or plus size to normal sizes very fast. I initially only bought workout clothes while I was on FMLA. When I knew I had to go back to work, I ordered size large Tunics and stretchy work appropriate pants. I figured the tunics would cover the tighter then looser pants. And they did. But... about a month later they were way too big still. I am 5 months out. I wear a size 8 pants with medium tops most of the time, but am also wearing some size 6 and smalls.

[myfanwymoi 102]

6 hours ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

I can't wait to enjoy clothes shopping again! And hiking with my boys. I truly want my life back. In college i was very physically active. After children, marriage (then divorce) that part of me got buried.Now my boys are older and I dont plan on having anymore babies, it's time to love me again.


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I recall jumping off a stile on a walk a few months in. There was no earthquake, my bones didn’t jar and I was like omg!!!!

enjoy. It’s all worth it xxx

[Machalo 283]

18 hours ago, Slimmy-mommeee said:

So I have a 38.8 bmi, fatty liver disease, type 2 diabetes (barely and the number has gone down) and my insurance approved me for surgery on 3/2/20. I'm really excited but I keep feeling like like I'm not heavy enough for surgery. Does anyone else with a bmi under 40 feel that way? The crazy thing is I'm in constant pain from my joints neck and back so I'm not sure why these doubt keep coming.

Welcome to the forums!

While I have a higher BMI and a couple of comorbidities that my insurance was like, WOAH! Get that girl in Surgery! I understand your feelings. Before settling in this time for WLS, I had started the process a couple of other times. The first time, even the surgeon said I wasn't heavy enough, and I didn't have any comorbidities at the time. So I dropped it for a few years. The next time I started the process, I made the mistake of, no wait, my husband made the mistake of telling people, who then got all in my business. So I dropped it.

This time, I'm all in, just waiting for my date now. I would like to say the only person who knows is my husband, but no, he has "shared" with someone else, who he swears will not tell. Uh huh. Heard that before, but what can I do? He's already told. He just knows not to tell anyone else. I hope. I pray. I have no intention of telling anyone; it's none of their business. All they need to know is that I'm on a medically prescribed diet and exercise program. (All true) That may change over time, but for right now ...

Anyway, long story short is that your worries are completely normal pre-surgery. Come check out other threads on the forums, we have lots of interesting conversations going on, and we are all here to support each other.