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Frustrated with "I know someone who gained it all back" reactions



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3 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Have you or are you changing your behaviors with food? Do you eat the same foods that got you the invitation to the Obesity Ball in the first place, except that you are eating "everything in moderation?"

These are the real question. For most of us, if we eat the same foods we ate as MO people, once our tools mature and our bodies adapt--anywhere from 18mos to 5 years, we run the risk of partial or total regain.

It's enough to scare every one of us straight...and yet it doesn't.

I say it all the time. This is not magic bean surgery. This is a tool with a brief window of time that allows us to push a "Metabolic Reset" button and allows us to lose weight easier than it will ever be before or again and allows your body to defend a lower weight. But you don't use a screwdriver to hammer in a nail. And you don't use a hammer to screw in a screw. The tool is only what you make of it and the lasting headwork is by far the hardest part of the whole process.

And even though this will be the "easiest" weight loss you've ever had, every day takes dedication, work, effort, action, and repetition, and denial. And it's pretty Forkin' HARD!

If I could heart this 1000 times I would. Pre-op I was told many times that this was a tool and not a permanent solution so that part was clear, BUT i was never informed about the possible change in mentality towards food.

I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would WANT to chose a salad or something lighter over the heavier dishes I was use to. I never thought I would WANT to log every single bite that goes into my mouth and actually LOVE tracking macros. I never thought I would ENJOY taking dishes I would make pre-op and turn them into something healthier.

Before surgery I thought one of two things would happen. The first was that i wasn't going to be able to tolerate anything and I was going to be stripped away from everything I loved (i read too many horror stories). The second was that I was going to be able to tolerate everything and just eat what I loved in moderation. Neither one of these is the case.

Although moderation is great, I see food much differently now. I dont want moderation with what I use to eat because as you say Fluffy, once we stop losing, those frequent moderation meals will catch up to us.

For me, moderation is eating clean everyday all day and maybe having some chocolate almonds for a snack, or fulling indulging on special occasions or certain days when you feel like it. I do believe in planning ahead though by eating light on those days you know you're going to indulge.

As corny as this sounds, I've truly learned that this is not a temporary diet, its a lifestyle change. Also, I don't feel like I'm on such a tight food restriction because I love my healthy meals way too much! :)

Thank you for being such a great example and for showing newbies like myself that eating good can be enjoyable and that its all in the mind!

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On 1/11/2020 at 2:11 PM, froufrou said:

The first thing out of my mother in law's mouth when I told her I was having surgery (and this was in front of her husband and mine) was 'oh, what are you going to do with all that skin?!'. Who says that?? hahahaha

Yeah, that is weird. I mean, it is the same amount of skin you had to begin with.

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On 1/13/2020 at 10:02 AM, MarvelGirl25 said:

Also, I don't feel like I'm on such a tight food restriction because I love my healthy meals way too much! :)

Thank you for being such a great example and for showing newbies like myself that eating good can be enjoyable and that its all in the mind!

Thank you for your inspiration, your journey, your GORGEOUS meal ideas and your inspiration. I'm inspired by all of you, new and vet! :)

I wish I could like THIS a meeelion times! I feel exactly as you do! For reals. When I was in WLM, I was laser focused. So I didn't get tricky with food. Cuz I've done the scenic tour and this time just wanted to get to goal as quickly as I could. So very little shenanigans and lean dense Protein + 1-2oz al dente steamed or roasted veg + tiny bit of fat at meals was it...

Now that I'm at maintenance I feel good about interacting with re-writing old recipes to fit my new Bari Healthy Life! And through it all--I never felt like I was deprived. I just felt so blessed and such relief to have this chance to lose like a normal person!

Last night we went out to our neighborhood Italian place. Coulda had anything: bread, pizza, gooey Pasta. What did I have from choice, not penury...I had 1 Caprese Stack + 1/2 side salad with WF Italian Dressing + grilled shrimpies + broccoli toasted with garlic. And a Cappaccino with real steamed cream for dessert. :) Gosh I did not feel any deprivation, just had an awesome night with Mr. F. and friends!

And here's Tuesday Tacos made with my LoLo Psylli Wrap nuked into a crispy shell! Now where do you get an lc gluten free paleo crispy taco shell for about 18 or so calories that gives you some Fiber? :)
bari-healthy-life-crispy-chicken-enchirito-taco_5736-flat.thumb.jpg.09cb7a2d04f91892d48ed53a6a86d589.jpg
Yeah...so. much. deprivation. ;)

Edited by FluffyChix

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That’s the very reason why I do not tell people about my surgery it’s none of their business and I don’t need any negativity. It’s been three years and the struggle is real and I’m still fighting to keep it off.

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I only remember one negative reaction to telling someone about weight loss surgery. I told an acquaintance that I had lost weight because I got a gastric sleeve, and she said something like "so you didn't do it the right way."

These days I don't like to talk about it much, because I am one of those people who gained all the weight back.

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I feel like telling someone who just got bariatric surgery that you know someone who gained it all back is comparable to telling someone on the gurney that you know someone who died in surgery. It is just in poor taste...

I am also one who didn’t share my surgery. It is my personal health information.

That being said, I do feel dishonest sometimes when people comment on my weight loss and I don’t divulge. I just don’t want to be defined by my weight loss surgery so I haven’t opened that can of worms. I don’t care if people figure it out or assume because I’m not embarrassed. If someone came to me for serious advice, I would consider sharing to be helpful.

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18 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Thank you for your inspiration, your journey, your GORGEOUS meal ideas and your inspiration. I'm inspired by all of you, new and vet! :)

I wish I could like THIS a meeelion times! I feel exactly as you do! For reals. When I was in WLM, I was laser focused. So I didn't get tricky with food. Cuz I've done the scenic tour and this time just wanted to get to goal as quickly as I could. So very little shenanigans and lean dense Protein + 1-2oz al dente steamed or roasted veg + tiny bit of fat at meals was it...

Now that I'm at maintenance I feel good about interacting with re-writing old recipes to fit my new Bari Healthy Life! And through it all--I never felt like I was deprived. I just felt so blessed and such relief to have this chance to lose like a normal person!

Last night we went out to our neighborhood Italian place. Coulda had anything: bread, pizza, gooey Pasta. What did I have from choice, not penury...I had 1 Caprese Stack + 1/2 side salad with WF Italian Dressing + grilled shrimpies + broccoli toasted with garlic. And a Cappaccino with real steamed cream for dessert. :) Gosh I did not feel any deprivation, just had an awesome night with Mr. F. and friends!

And here's Tuesday Tacos made with my LoLo Psylli Wrap nuked into a crispy shell! Now where do you get an lc gluten free paleo crispy taco shell for about 18 or so calories that gives you some Fiber? :)
bari-healthy-life-crispy-chicken-enchirito-taco_5736-flat.thumb.jpg.09cb7a2d04f91892d48ed53a6a86d589.jpg
Yeah...so. much. deprivation. ;)

Wow that meal sounds amazing and far from being deprived! You have great control. Lots of people would have went Pasta and bread crazy.

Oh and those tacos... YUM! You are truly the queen of creating low cal recipes. 😀

I look forward to learning and seeing more from you! <3

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