Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Frustrated with "I know someone who gained it all back" reactions



Recommended Posts

Technically you’re telling the truth if you say you’re drinking Water and Protein Shakes. I’ve heard the same about people gain. My sister said she gain some back but nowhere near what she was. I haven’t told a lot of people. The ones I don’t want to know I’ll say diet and shakes and working out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister and a close friend (both quite obese) had extremely negative reactions to my decision to have surgery, and both relationships have become strained as a result. Both mentioned people who had the surgery and gained it all back. My interpretation is that they were extremely threatened by my taking this positive step and wanted to justify not having it themselves. But that's speculation on my part.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first thing out of my mother in law's mouth when I told her I was having surgery (and this was in front of her husband and mine) was 'oh, what are you going to do with all that skin?!'. Who says that?? hahahaha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And this is just one reason why I don't tell people

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m not afraid to tell anyone, and absolutely am blessed that someone shared their story with me, other wise I may have not had the surgery. So yes, I tell ppl. For the ppl who don’t support me can take there jealous ass on! You win some, you lose some!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am fortunate that most people I tell are interested and are positive and usually even supportive. The only negative I have dealt with is someone who was obviously jealous and unwilling to look at this as an option for herself. She has struggled to lose weight for as long as I have known her and from what I have seen her attempts have always been half assed and riddled with excuses to not follow her supposed diet. And then she sees me and I drastically lost weight very fast. She asked how I did it and I felt I should be honest with her. Her reaction was negative and she has avoided me since lol. No loss on my part. I made a choice to be healthy and I am doing it. She on the other hand is obviously miserable and probably afraid to attempt real change. But if she ever approaches me wanting more info... I will gladly help her.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m not afraid to tell anyone, and absolutely am blessed that someone shared their story with me, other wise I may have not had the surgery. So yes, I tell ppl. For the ppl who don’t support me can take there jealous ass on! You win some, you lose some!
Agreed. I chose not to tell my extended family, but I have been more open with those around me and am pleasantly surprised at how well it has gone. And like you.... I watched someone who struggled who shared their experience with me and it made me more open to consider surgery for myself. Now I am sharing my experience with someone else who is considering surgery herself... and while I had no complications, I am encouraging her to talk to the person we both work with who gave me my guidance... as she did have difficulties and will give this person a better understanding of benefits and risks.


Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure it's frustrating but it would inspire me to not become one of those statistics and keep me on the straight and narrow

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve told my friends and just a few family members. I have a few friends that would have been a little negative. I know one would’ve been saying Why? It’s to extreme, it’s not good. She does it with just about everything I do. I just recently told her after it was done and 2 after surgery. First thing she said was why??? Everyone I’ve told has supported me and they’re there for me. My sister had this done in 2004. She’s helped me a lot with questions. So I’m thankful for not telling a few.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I exploded on a local forum critizing a young, famous woman who had sleeve.

Everyone seemd to know that "everyone gaines back the weight" or that the surgery is total useless because she was seen eating a cake and thus she had just went back to old habits. "Surgery works for none".

So tired of this crap.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 01/09/2020 at 11:47, Basham53 said:



I had surgery last July and I've lost 70 lbs. When I see people that I haven't seen in a while that is usually one of the first things that comes up. Immediately after "You look great!" comes the "How are you doing it?". What is most frustrating to me is that it seems like when I open up to people about my surgery so many choose to share that they know someone who did it, lost a bunch of weight, then gained it back or weigh more than before. I'm SO sick of hearing that! I feel bad to mislead people about how I'm losing so much weight because I know that desperate feeling of hoping to discover the "perfect" diet. I could just say that I only drink Water and mostly eat Protein but I'd feel like I was lying because I know I couldn't do this without the surgery. I've tried losing weight so many times. I am seriously surprised about the number of people that have reacted that way. In a way it is motivational driver to keep the weight off but it is also annoying because it keeps happening. This journey hasn't been easy and I'm proud of my accomplishments so it is depressing when someone's first response is negative.




Has anyone else experienced a lot of negativity when you open up about having surgery? How do you respond? Just wondering.


Yes. I have had the same response from some people. I’m amazed at what some people have no problem telling others.
It messes with my head as well and scares me about the potential future regain. But I have to remember we are all individuals and not every outcome will turn out that way. That being said when I hear it, that does still bother me.
Keep doing you and pushing forward towards your goal. You can do it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, MsMocie said:

I exploded on a local forum critizing a young, famous woman who had sleeve.

Everyone seemd to know that "everyone gaines back the weight" or that the surgery is total useless because she was seen eating a cake and thus she had just went back to old habits. "Surgery works for none".

So tired of this crap.

Have you or are you changing your behaviors with food? Do you eat the same foods that got you the invitation to the Obesity Ball in the first place, except that you are eating "everything in moderation?"

32 minutes ago, Kris77 said:

It messes with my head as well and scares me about the potential future regain. But I have to remember we are all individuals and not every outcome will turn out that way. That being said when I hear it, that does still bother me.

Have you or are you changing your behaviors with food? Do you eat the same foods that got you the invitation to the Obesity Ball in the first place, except that you are eating "everything in moderation?"

These are the real question. For most of us, if we eat the same foods we ate as MO people, once our tools mature and our bodies adapt--anywhere from 18mos to 5 years, we run the risk of partial or total regain.

It's enough to scare every one of us straight...and yet it doesn't.

I say it all the time. This is not magic bean surgery. This is a tool with a brief window of time that allows us to push a "Metabolic Reset" button and allows us to lose weight easier than it will ever be before or again and allows your body to defend a lower weight. But you don't use a screwdriver to hammer in a nail. And you don't use a hammer to screw in a screw. The tool is only what you make of it and the lasting headwork is by far the hardest part of the whole process.

And even though this will be the "easiest" weight loss you've ever had, every day takes dedication, work, effort, action, and repetition, and denial. And it's pretty Forkin' HARD!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only time someone outright told me they knew someone that gained the weight back was my coworker. Here daughter in law had it, but didn't actually want to have it and was persuaded by her doctor due to medical conditions. She didn't take it seriously and continued eating the same way so DUH she gained her weight back. Everyone else has just continually told me how fantastic how look and "how much better I must feel". Usually some questions like what can and can't you eat. That's about it. No one seems to really give a crap. I have actually heard more stories about people losing TOO much weight and looking ill or actually becoming ill. Many of those stories relate to people transferring addiction to doing drugs.

Edited by mousecat88

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oopsies double post

Edited by ms.sss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Over the holidays, I saw relatives who haven't seen me since the summer. I got "Oh look, you are still skinny." or "Good for you for not gaining weight again", and them offering me some cake.

These are the gossipy aunts and cousins who I generally put invisible armour on whenever I'm around them. You know, the types who shoot out poison arrows disguised as innocent remarks. They've been doing this to everyone about everything for as long as I can remember.

They don't even know about my surgery, but I know they are just waiting for me to gain the weight back.

Insecure people feel better about themselves when they compare themselves to others, do their mental math and determine they measure out on top. And if their math tells them they are NOT on top, they will do/say/think what they can to make it so (or at the very least, justify it). I figure they need do this to get through the day, so whatevs. Let them do what they need to do to get by. I know I'm awesome.

Edited by ms.sss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Mousiana

      Hate thinking about foods I used to love... Burgers & wings. Gotta stay focused. 😤
      · 1 reply
      1. WilliamZef

        https://gayxxx24.com - GayXXX Free Gay Porn Movies & Videos Free Gay XXX - Gay XXX.

    • Arabesque

      Went to see the Star Wars movie yesterday. (Glad I waited as no one else was in the cinema for the midday session - yes!) Hadn’t been to the cinema for a few months and OMG I suffered the most terrible butt pain.  So uncomfortable. Started after 30 mins. Was in the premium cinema so grabbed a cushion to sit on but it didn’t help. Ended up sitting sideways in the chair, stretched out on an ottoman. Soooo super glad no one else was there. Sometimes I do miss my old butt fat cushioning... but not really. 
      · 1 reply
      1. Panda333

        ha..I have that issue too.....miss my built in pillow!

    • Hollyh

      Approved surgery in am yea!
      · 3 replies
      1. Combowep

        https://blog.earny.me

      2. Tobencah

        Hello

      3. Tobencah

        Hello

    • maggie78

      I have a surgery date, I have my next doctor appointment on Wed and then Thursday I start my 2 week liquid pre-op diet. I am very nervous right now. I know it's going to be a tough mind game. 
      · 1 reply
      1. GreenTealael

        💚 Congratulations, you'll do great 💚

    • SabrinaGoddess

      Week 5 Post Op Report

      What a journey! I am 5 weeks from surgery and a total of 24.4 pounds down!

      I feel amazing! I’ve incorporated a ton of walking and I’m using my Apple Watch to help me along! I have closed all three of my fitness rings for 11 days straight! Ok, so I am in LOVE with my Apple Watch. I've had it for almost a year and I am just now tapping into it's fitness power!

      I keep on top of my protein, vitamins and biotin!

      I struggle with water but I average about 50 ounces a day. I have only had one day where I had to “purge” because something did not agree with me. Tuna and my Tiny Tummy still do not agree so I’m going to leave it alone for a while!

      I walk on average a little more than 3 miles a day for my exercise but manage to get in at least 13,000-17,000 steps a day depending on how my schedule goes.

      I get up every hour and walk around for at least five minutes. Then if I’m watching a show I get up and walk in place during the commercials!

      I meet with my doc this week for a progress report.

      I have one more week before I graduate from soft foods to the final phase!

      I’ve got my cookbooks ready, my food scale ready and my measuring plates ready!

      I could NOT be more happy with my progress! I feel amazing and I’m grateful to have this tool!

      None Scale Victory: My rings on my finger are spinning!




      · 3 replies
      1. Krimsonbutterflies

        Sabrina, you are doing so well. I'm truly inspired and equally excited for you. The view you shared is breathtaking and relaxing, I'm in love with the ocean. Please keep sharing. Where did you find the trackers and how do I access them? My date is approaching the 31st, I'm in liquid diet mode. I see my surgeon on the 17th. Any advice?

      2. SabrinaGoddess

        You got this sis! You totally do.
        The ocean is so peaceful. Some days I get blessed with seeing whales, dolphins and seals. It is truly amazing.

        You can go to under our name at the top left section and click "TICKERS" you can create them there. Then when you lose weight you just go to "my surgery" and change your weight and they will adjust.

        On the liquids, do sugar free pop-cycles. They are more like a treat than a liquid and they count as 2 ounces each! Liquids not the funnest part of our journey but who cares....LOL. I do like the IsoPure clear liquid protein drinks, you can get them at GNC. The flavors are ok. I also LOVED Kettle and FIre Broth and Epic Broths so I drank them all the time, it's good for you. It's BONE BROTH. Kinda pricey but the good stuff usually is.

      3. Krimsonbutterflies

        Thank you for the encouragement/positivity!!! I'm going to conquer this liquid phase, moment by moment. I also appreciate the mini tutorial of how to get the ticker. I'm thinking of starting status updates after my pre-op visit with the surgeon on Friday. I really enjoy the personal perspective and experience being shared, without feeling like the thread is being dominated. I look forward to how each person is approaching the wls lifestyle. Thank you lady, good night. Happy Whale watching. I love seeing the dolphins at Hermosa Beach.

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×