Sister freaking out about me considering WLS

[over65 133]

I just started my journey by attending an orientation seminar. Decided to tell one sister who worked medical-related career. Her first reaction was, "No way. I would never want to lose my ability to eat what I want."

I am one of six kids in family. All six of us became obese in adulthood but I was first starting about age 20. My weight is now highest it has ever been at 245 with BMI at 45. I have multitple comorbidities and found out last week I am pre-diabetic with A1C at 6.2%.

I told her at age 66 I didn't have enough years to lose weight to prevent diabetes/heart disease. My reason for wanting WLS is I want to live more years in retirement than Dad who died at 72 from obesity, heart disease and diabetes.

She mellowed out some but kept telling me about all the horrible complications she has seen in people with gastric bypass. I told her she was only seeing those with complications and not most WLS people who do great.

"Do whatever you want but really get informed before you decide." EXACTLY. My life. My health. My retirement. Wait until she is morbidly obese herself.

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Edited December 14, 2019 by over65

[AZhiker 2,252]

Yup, it is your choice and I applaud you for wanting to get healthier. I was 63 when I got my bypass and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have my life back! I am doing things now I never could have dreamed of a year ago. And you know what? I can eat ANYTHING I WANT! I just don't want the same junky stuff anymore! I went out to eat tonight with our staff and had a wonderful meal with lots of leftovers to bring home.

After surgery, your tastes change and as you build your new lifestyle, you will start choosing healthier options in small portions. I promise you - a year after surgery you CAN eat anything you want, but you just won't want the same foods or same portions. You will also have learned to exchange the pleasure from food with pleasure from things that are more meaningful and lasting. You will be free from the entrapment of food and the chains of always needing food to meet your emotional needs. You still have to do the hard work, but surgery is an incredible gift and tool to help you get the life back that you have lost and deserve to find again.

[New&Improved 1,780]

1 hour ago, over65 said:

I just started my journey by attending an orientation seminar. Decided to tell one sister who worked medical-related career. Her first reaction was, "No way. I would never want to lose my ability to eat what I want."

I am one of six kids in family. All six of us became obese in adulthood but I was first starting about age 20. My weight is now highest it has ever been at 245 with BMI at 45. I have multitple comorbidities and found out last week I am pre-diabetic with A1C at 6.2%.

I told her at age 66 I didn't have enough years to lose weight to prevent diabetes/heart disease. My reason for wanting WLS is I want to live more years in retirement than Dad who died at 72 from obesity, heart disease and diabetes.

She mellowed out some but kept telling me about all the horrible complications she has seen in people with gastric bypass. I told her she was only seeing those with complications and not most WLS people who do great.

"Do whatever you want but really get informed before you decide." EXACTLY. My life. My health. My retirement. Wait until she is morbidly obese herself.

Sent from my SM-T580 using BariatricPal mobile app

So she's just worried about not being able to eat the crap that makes you fat.. So she doesn't understand you value your health now more than food itself.

[Fatboyslim1 204]

Tell her she can eat your leftovers, while you go for a walk, or to the beach.

[catwoman7 10,986]

complications - esp major ones - aren't that common anymore. Maybe she just sees more since she works in the medical field (and doesn't see all the people who DON'T have them). Or maybe she's got outdated views of WLS. Back in the 60s and 70s, it WAS dangerous - but not anymore. They've come a long way since then. It's become a very safe and routine surgery. Sounds like she's the one who needs to do some research!

[Danny Paul 761]

8 hours ago, AZhiker said:

You will also have learned to exchange the pleasure from food with pleasure from things that are more meaningful and lasting.

I used to live to eat. I now eat to live. I had my WLS at 60. With my new found health I plan on being a centurion. Do it for yourself and you'll see that you end up doing it for those you love as well. By being healthier you're able to enjoy life much more.

[JRT Mom 919]

Is your sister also obese? Could it be jealousy that you will lose weight? Regardless of her motives for you not having it, it is YOUR life, and you'd like to be healthier to enjoy it longer. She'll come around.

[AJ Tylo 1,399]

9 hours ago, over65 said:

Do whatever you want but really get informed before you decide." EXACTLY. My life. My health. My retirement. Wait until she is morbidly obese herself.

Everyone has a view. But i would agree to get informed, For me it was the best decision i made, But it is a journey and there are downsides, I would read this whole site and YOU and only YOU make the decision

[over65 133]

So she's just worried about not being able to eat the crap that makes you fat.. So she doesn't understand you value your health now more than food itself.

Yep, that's it. She has severe GERD. I told her that high carb diet is one of the causes. "I might have to give up my favorite italian pastas? " She needs to give up more than Pasta if she wants to have a healthy retirement (she just retired at age 62).

She has been vegetarian all her life. So diet is lots of bread, pasta, muffins, Bagels, potato casseroles, milk, flavored yogurt, Cereal and veggies. Also, has had severe sleep apnea for at least 10 years but refuses to get help because doesn't want to use CPAP. All six of us have small airways. She is the only one not on CPAP.

So she hasn't come to the point that her health isn't impotant enough yet to make lifestyle changes.

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[over65 133]

Everyone has a view. But i would agree to get informed, For me it was the best decision i made, But it is a journey and there are downsides, I would read this whole site and YOU and only YOU make the decision

I have read many books and watching lots of YouTube videos. Especially "Dr V". He spares no punches getting me to seriously examine myself and my eating behaviors that got me obese.

Yes, obviously genetics is a factor. But how I eat is mostly to blame. I have always been single (no kids) and had professional career. But I eat when bored or feeling lonely. And I have a sugar addiction which props up my depression. I own that and something I have been working on with therapist for a couple of years. He supports my decision for bariactric surgery. It would give me a new beginning. I have maintained 230-240 pounds for five years as I have gradually made changes for better me. As I lose weight, I will be able to begin exercising. Get severe low back pain just walking from big belly and have heel spur (been working with podiatrist on that).

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[AZhiker 2,252]

30 minutes ago, over65 said:

Get severe low back pain just walking from big belly and have heel spur (been working with podiatrist on that).

Sent from my SM-T580 using BariatricPal mobile app

One of the most amazing results from my WLS is NO JOINT PAIN! I've already had 1 knee replacement and was getting ready for the 2nd one, due to so much pain and losing my ability to function. Also continual low back pain. Since losing weight, I have no more pain in back or knees. Maybe I will never even need the 2nd knee replacement?!?! I was on Aleve twice a day, every day, but have not taken an NSAID since surgery and sure don't need it now. This is just amazing to me. What a difference in life quality. I just finished a 50 mile bike ride with no pain! Going hiking today, and loving life!

[AJ Tylo 1,399]

I agree the greatest thing after losing a 100 pounds is no more ache and pains and can go do just about anything i want to do, Pre surgery was limited because of my size and condition.

Now its just have fun all the time Date fish beach outside and of course you gotta work still

[smahan 4]

I had thought of getting WLS for years but was never truly ready. I just had my sleeve done on 11/20/19. Best decision ever. I felt ready and confident in that decision. BUT I didn't tell me family. I of course told my husband, children and parents. That was all! The rest of my family I knew wouldn't understand and I just didn't want to be bothered with all the questions and negativity.

Thanksgiving was difficult because I was only a week post-op. So of course everyone noticed I wasn't eating. They asked why and had noticed I was already smaller so I told them. And I got mixed reactions. Some good, some bad and some just didn't care. I had one aunt that said, "Now why did you have to go and do that?" Instantly soured my mood but then I remembered I did it for my health and not theirs. My whole family is overweight and they're used to me being the same way so it's hard for them to see that I'm taking my health back.

I agree with the others here...become as informed as possible first and then make the decision on your own. I have found so much information on here that the doctor never told me and this support has been amazing. I found a video on here yesterday that made me feel so much better about my emotions, etc.

Good luck with your decision!!

[Stella S 612]

Sister abandonment sucks!!! Mine freaked out as well but ended up adjusting. She worries about all medical complications I have never revisited her reaction‘s but remember I chose to keep this and PS private for a reason. I understand your reasoning 281%!!!!!