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Im sorry you are so conflicted this is a huge decision try learning some meditation and try journaling to get those feelings out. Dont give up. find your path to peace of mind look deep into your soul

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Hi

I initially my husband was also very concerned with the risks.

However once I clearly explained my reasoning and assured him that I wasn’t able to weight loss without surgical help he did come round.

He was great once I had the surgery on Oct 24.

Im so glad I had this done- do it for you x

Good luck! Xx

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The risks are minimal and you are far more likely to die from the excess weight than the surgery. My husband who is also a nurse was worried for me too, in fact he was more nervous than me! His concerns were that I'd die on the table or have serious complications. Of course being me, I did have serious complications and was in hospital for 2 weeks and had to have an emergency bypass but once through that, all was well, slow progress after 2 major ops but all good. He was also very aware that for the last 15 years i have tried every diet on the planet to lose weight and keep it off. I was starting to show signs of metabolic syndrome and he knew if i didn't do something permanent i could well be dead from my weight in ten years.
Surgery is scary but not as scary as doing nothing. You know in your heart if this really is the right path for you. So make your decision explain to him you understand his fears but ultimately it is your decision and you NEED him to respect and support it. Good luck [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G935F using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 11/12/2019 at 9:49 AM, lvidacovich said:

This is not directed at anyone in particular but I think that WLS exposes bad relationships but makes good ones stronger. At least I hope.

100% agree!

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Oh no I'm sorry, it is a time full of major changes! My relationship has gotten better (I"M 10 mos out) but He goes to all support meetings and participated and tries to really learn. Tell him that you don't want this to hurt your relationship and that you would like him to come with you, and learn about what people go through, and how things change. Tell him you want to change and grow with him by your side.

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Yes! Bad relationships usually end in splitting! Strong ones will thrive and you will be closer!

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Since losing the weight, I feel like my marriage got even better. But not just my marriage, but my other relationships as well (including my own relationship with myself) I gained a sh*tload of confidence and patience, as well let go of a lot of hangups and anger. This change in me does wonders in how I relate to others. My marriage totally benefits from it.

On the flip side of things though, I also don't have room in my life anymore for those who I deem unhealthy for me and mine. I am no longer so eager to please nor do I bend over backwards to keep peace. So yeah, good relationships will flourish, not-so-good ones will fall by the wayside.

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    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

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      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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