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Hey everyone! I am 39 years old and I have been single for about two months after a six year long relationship. I have the VSG about a year and a half ago, losing about 65 pounds, dropping from 241 to 176. I would love to lose more but as hard as I have been trying, I think my body is just happy at this point.

Anyhow, like I said earlier, I was in a relationship for the past six years. We have a beautiful daughter, so she has been my focus and will continue to be so. It is hard to think about dating though. I am slightly self conscious about the extra skin I have, even though it is only on my arms. I have a good amount of money saved to have it removed, but my ex doesn’t believe in paying child support (even though he makes six figures), so that money will now be spent on an attorney. It really sucks, but it is what it is.

Anyhow, the thought of dating is so scary. I don’t even know where to start, lol! How do y’all meet new people?

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E harmony Tinder Ect, I know people will bash me , but with out social climate today just going up and saying "hi" to someone is a deathwish.

Edited by Guest
tye o

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3 hours ago, TexasMommy80 said:

Hey everyone! I am 39 years old and I have been single for about two months after a six year long relationship. I have the VSG about a year and a half ago, losing about 65 pounds, dropping from 241 to 176. I would love to lose more but as hard as I have been trying, I think my body is just happy at this point.

Anyhow, like I said earlier, I was in a relationship for the past six years. We have a beautiful daughter, so she has been my focus and will continue to be so. It is hard to think about dating though. I am slightly self conscious about the extra skin I have, even though it is only on my arms. I have a good amount of money saved to have it removed, but my ex doesn’t believe in paying child support (even though he makes six figures), so that money will now be spent on an attorney. It really sucks, but it is what it is.

Anyhow, the thought of dating is so scary. I don’t even know where to start, lol! How do y’all meet new people?

Drag him through court and make sure he pays for every day he's missed! Judges just hate men who don't pay support!!!

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HIs loss...you are one beautiful lady :-)

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Several of my friends are in wonderful marriages now after meeting on Eharmony. So I would recommend that. Tinder is good for a hook up but not something serious. My mom won't do Eharmony (she doesn't like some questions on the questionnaire. Basically they try to figure out if you have racial sensitivities to better match you. I don't see a problem with it, but she was offended.) and she has casually dated from Match, but never found anything serious. Hope that helps!

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Thanks y’all! I might try EHarmony or Match soon. 😀😀

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Work and in general referrals

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On 10/9/2019 at 7:51 PM, TexasMommy80 said:

Hey everyone! I am 39 years old and I have been single for about two months after a six year long relationship. I have the VSG about a year and a half ago, losing about 65 pounds, dropping from 241 to 176. I would love to lose more but as hard as I have been trying, I think my body is just happy at this point.

Anyhow, like I said earlier, I was in a relationship for the past six years. We have a beautiful daughter, so she has been my focus and will continue to be so. It is hard to think about dating though. I am slightly self conscious about the extra skin I have, even though it is only on my arms. I have a good amount of money saved to have it removed, but my ex doesn’t believe in paying child support (even though he makes six figures), so that money will now be spent on an attorney. It really sucks, but it is what it is.

Anyhow, the thought of dating is so scary. I don’t even know where to start, lol! How do y’all meet new people?

No advice on the meeting new people thing but it is fairly easy in Texas to go after your baby daddy for child support just using the attorney general's office....Texas is pretty hard on deadbeats so maybe you can get it without spending a lot on an attorney. Best of luck to you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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