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Losing Too Much Weight



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And it's annoying because part of me knows I am a healthy size, but then I gain a pound or two and FREAK OUT that I am "fat again". And then I'm like "fast track to a size 24 again!", even though I am a size 6.

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9 hours ago, mousecat88 said:

I kinda feel like a crazy person now. I got to 130 and I'm back to 133 but now I am sad I am not at 130. Hurray for completely unresolved body dysmorphia!

At first reading your initial posts I thought I don’t think I will ever get to the point of losing too much weight. But body dysmorphia that I understood. I worry I will never be able to just eat normally and not worry over every ounce, just a lb up and I see that obese person coming back.

and it’s not as if it didn’t happen before. The first time my weight got out of control it didn’t seem to matter what I did and doctors didn’t care even when they diagnosed me with several medical conditions including metabolic disorders. At some point I did give up and just ate whatever I was already well over 180lbs. My weight went well over 215lbs. When I knew I had to fight my sugar and carb addiction and try to prevent diabetes. I have no sense of time or when but I’d guess 2008-2009 when I went on strict low carb and low calories. I went from 215lb to around 124lbs. But just adding vegetables because I was feeling more ill (chronic illness) my weight settled in at 134 lbs. but surgery in 2010 and some high stress problems afterwards and eating badly because of that, but still trying to keep healthy, I gained 30lbs by 2012. And started fighting it again. It only went to 134 lbs. but not that long ago (I can’t say when I don’t remember) it jumped to 160, then to 180 and by the time I had surgery 208 and BMI 40.

I only cheated once with cake in all those years. It was some damn good cake. But even as I gained was eating low carb, low sugar, low calories (around 800) my worst cheat was sweet kale salad.

but will I ever see myself as thin? No probably never. I never thought about body dysmorphia. Learning about it I’m sure I’ve had it since I was a kid. At least pre-teens. And I know my weight loss journey is just for me, not as much for looks as my body can’t handle the burden of all that weight. I can hardly carry myself most days through basic tasks.

I had a friend once say I had an eating disorder. In 2010 someone I thought was my best friend said she was going to fatten me up. I got a glimpse of the fact she must truly have hated me.

im sorry my simple I understand turned into a long rant.

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Hey it's Okay,many of us have been or still are where you're at. Took pictures to prove to me that I'm not Ugly Fat anymore. Weight looks good on some PEOPLE but only a few and I had gotten to the point of SelfLoathing, it didn't Look Good on ME- but I'm still dysmophic enough to think "Chubby Tubby" until something proves the error of it!

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I'm late to the party here but approaching the low end of healthy BMI post bypass.

My saviour is grain and seed salads. Some stores call them "ancient grains" salads - peputas, quinoa, buck eyes, lentils, almonds and such. They often have a sweet vinegarette dressing and mixed with parsley or corainder. Seeds and nuts are crazy calorie dense.

A 3/4 cup salad hits 400-500 calories no sweat. I'm mindful some people don't tolerate grains well due to texture and pouch but they tend to be soft and if you eat mindfully it should be no issue.


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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