Struggling with support system at home.

[TravMac 42]

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?

How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

[GreenTealael 24,905]

Question:

How much influence do the saboteurs actually have over your weightloss efforts (purchase your groceries, pick up your meds, cook your meals, drive you appointments, etc.)?

Can you be much more assertive and really tell them in a way they will understand?

Good Luck 💙

Edited June 16, 2019 by GreenTealael

[Zemi 72]

Rather than letting it influence whether or not to have surgery, hopefully they would instead be giving you suggestions of what can help regarding how to handle any sabotage that comes up, and also giving you some additional support. How are you being sabotaged currently? I know it’s hard going through it, but maybe if you share more w can help as well so you can have the best outcome possible with your surgery

[ThreeOhThree 76]

I feel like I’m in the same boat sometimes especially in the beginning. I was not honest with my pysch eval BUT I started seeing a separate therapist that has nothing to do with wls and that really helps. It’s so hard to have a house full of food, have to cook it, and can’t eat it. I felt my hubby was sabotaging me at first and I had a conversation with him to let him know how serious this is. Decades of fad diets have ruined body and this is something that will help me get better. I understand this is easier said than done especially when you live with these people....but anyone who does not support me getting healthier is simply not worth my time anymore and I try to avoid them (or at least meals with them).

[MLB357 58]

It they won't support you, we will.

If they try and pass judgment, we won't.

If they won't tell you, we will....YOU GOT THIS !!!!

I found this online, printed it off and placed it somewhere I would see it everyday.

[ARMoma45 353]

5 hours ago, TraviMac said:

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?

How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

I've been very fortunate to have very supportive family/friends/coworkers. However I do feel that if there are people in your life that are trying to sabotage you even after you've told them to knock it off...maybe you need to take a break from them until after your surgery. This process is hard enough without having to deal with such negativity. Just politely tell them that you've done your research and that you feel that this is the best thing for you and if they can't support you through the process then you'll have to stay away from them for a while.

As for the psych eval and surgeon...they definitely want to know that you have a support system. Either avoid talking about the negative influences or tell them the truth and also tell them that you you have others that support you and that you're distancing yourself from any negative influences.

[ARMoma45 353]

4 hours ago, ThreeOhThree said:

I feel like I’m in the same boat sometimes especially in the beginning. I was not honest with my pysch eval BUT I started seeing a separate therapist that has nothing to do with wls and that really helps. It’s so hard to have a house full of food, have to cook it, and can’t eat it. I felt my hubby was sabotaging me at first and I had a conversation with him to let him know how serious this is. Decades of fad diets have ruined body and this is something that will help me get better. I understand this is easier said than done especially when you live with these people....but anyone who does not support me getting healthier is simply not worth my time anymore and I try to avoid them (or at least meals with them).

I'm sorry that you don't have more support....stick to your guns and do what's best for YOU.

[GradyCat 3,692]

You have to be honest with the psych eval and people trying to care for you. I once heard a saying that people can't "drive" you crazy unless you give them the keys. Are you letting people sabotage you? Stand up for yourself, this is about gaining back control over yourself and your food issues.

[SusieQ2019 567]

I don't don't have that issue because I plan all the meals at home. I cook the things my family enjoy while sticking to my doctors bariatic plan. There are people who will support and others who don't have your best interest at heart. Stay the course even if you have to stop socializing with those who intend on sabotaging your health. Do not give them that power or control. Speak to your psychologist and be honest.

[NagathaChristie 95]

13 hours ago, TraviMac said:

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?

How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

This has got to make things much harder for you! Do you call them out? "Hey, what I am doing is very difficult, why you trying to sabotage me?" or "When you act like that I feel like you do not understand that this is a matter of life and death for me."

You are worthy, your feelings are valid and you deserve respect and help with your journey.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Clutter is not physical stuff. It is old ideas , toxic relationships and bad habits. It is anything that does not support your better self.
And please remind them of This
IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER YOU'D WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR HER, WHETHER THAT INCLUDES YOU OR NOT!
Much love, praying 🙏things will smooth out and update us if you can!

[NYJenn 1,461]

What exactly are they doing/not doing?