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Not telling anyone



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I worked in a hospital where quite a few of our staff had this surgery in the past couple of years and everyone saw them have great results and were very supportive. When I had my surgery last August, I shared it with several coworkers, my boss and my family. It wasn't a big secret but I didn't talk alot about it.

When I returned to work (7 weeks later), I had lost 40# and everyone could tell. I retired 6 months after surgery and had lost 85# by then so everyone knew. It was the best decision of my life and although I rarely tell others that I've had it, I don't mind talking about it either.

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Only my husband and I know. It's our journey.

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Eight years out, only my physician knows.

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I haven't told anyone.....I had the surgery back in 2016. The only ones who knows is my hubby and kids. I just chose not to tell anybody because let's be honest some people look down on you because they think you don't have self control or something like that and honestly if you don't want to tell anybody that's your business.because let's be honest there's a stigmatism.

Edited by Kimberlylynn

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I told my close family and friends. Basically anyone who would really notice a drastic weight loss in me. How I see it is that it is nobody’s business. I am very close with my family and wanted their support but if you feel like you don’t want anybody to know that is completely valid. Not everyone is going to understand why we turn to surgery to help us.

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My husband and mom are the only two that know 🤷🏼‍♀️ I wasn’t interested in sharing my business with anyone else

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I almost told my mom last night but... nope. Not prudent. I may as well take out an ad in the New York Times. LOL

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On 5/17/2019 at 8:42 AM, Sharlanay said:

Do you have to have someone care for you once you go home?

You need to have someone drive you home at the very least. They won't let you take a cab home.

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I told a few close coworkers when I felt comfortable in doing so. Of course my husband and kids know. One of my sisters and one of my best friends. I think that’s a lot of people. I’ve been laying low while I’m working on myself, inside and out, because I don’t need any outside noise, especially if it’s going to be negative. And you kinda know who’s gonna be supportive and who won’t. Tell whoever you feel comfortable with and be vigilant in protecting your peace and energy. If someone comes with that BS, stop them and let them know their opinion isn’t needed, in a nice way of course lol

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On 5/17/2019 at 9:16 AM, med28thmed said:

I didn't go as far as lying. I've now lost 50 lbs and coworkers are starting to ask, and I tell them.

I was going to announce on FB once I hit my 50 pound goal but decided I'm going to postpone it for when I reach 70 pounds 🙂 I can't deal with the negative comments or unwanted opinions at this time..

You just have to focus on yourself right now. You're on your way to becoming healthier, more active and happier you!

Good Luck Sharlanay!

I told the ones who are usually supportive and I know genuinely love me.. the rest I let think it was will power or , better yet, a secret to lose weight that I’m not willing to share... I’m ENJOYING the game!!.. heee heee

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I told my mom this past week. I started out by telling her I was researching something and I wanted to share it with her. I told her I care about her and her opinion, but I wanted her to understand that I was going to do this regardless. We sat and discussed it, discussed my history with diets and weight gain, and she told me she understood where I was coming from. I showed her a lot of before and after on Instagram and Facebook about people around my age and my height/weight. She’s still going to research it, she says, but she’s been helping me plan a good day for surgery that works for both me and my job, as well as hers and her job.

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I am Happy that your Mama is going to give you emotional support, a lot of people on here are not so lucky. Sometimes I wish my parents were alive to see my successes, I hope, even with their worries, they would have still have been proud of me.
I am fortunate I do have a son who does " have my back" as I go along this journey. Mine has not been textbook perfect, but even with its bumps and strange turns, he is still proud of me and all I have accomplished. A little peeved I now weigh less than him, but now he is starting to watch his own diet closer. He has seen the changes in my body, and maybe it is rubbing off on him a little.

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I was worried about questions from relatives who haven't seen me in several months. We had a family BBQ today and only one person told me it looked like I was losing weight. No one else said a thing! It was a relief in a way, but quite odd, I thought.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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