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Bariatric Surgery is like Marriage!

Krestel

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Krestel    330

Krestel
Posted (edited)

I was just talking to my therapist when it dawned on me that "bariatric surgery is just like marriage".

1. You spend time looking forward to the day you get married and lose some weight in order to fit into the dress/tuxedo. / Pre-op weight loss

2. Wedding day! The happy day comes when you actually get married and walk down the aisle! / WLS surgery day!

3. Afterwards there is a honeymoon both directly after and during the next year. Everything is new and fresh and you look forward to (almost) every day.

4. You now live together and have to get along for the long run. / Your stomach has changed forever and you have to learn and keep up good eating habits.

5. Now you have actually realized your goal of growing old together, but still need to put in the work to keep the marriage going. / You need to keep up the good habits and work that got you to where you are.

So what does this really say about marriage and bariatric surgery?..."Marriage/WLS" is not only about the wonderful "Wedding Day/Surgery Day", but about what comes before, during, and after. You have to keep putting work into it in order to make it successful. If you had problems before that day or develop them along the way, you are going to have problems afterwards as well. If you think that if you "only getting married / only having WLS" will make things ok then you haven't looked beyond that goal.

Now, I want to know what you all think? I am no expert (on anything) and would love to hear what you all think.

Edited by Krestel
JessLess, Bari_KS, FluffyChix and 4 others reacted to this

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DanaC84    1,116

DanaC84
Posted

Sounds like a perfect analogy!! There’s days I want to throttle him but I never regret my decision. 😍

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DeeberLee    300

DeeberLee
Posted

5 hours ago, Krestel said:

I was just talking to my therapist when it dawned on me that "bariatric surgery is just like marriage".

1. You spend time looking forward to the day you get married and lose some weight in order to fit into the dress/tuxedo. / Pre-op weight loss

2. Wedding day! The happy day comes when you actually get married and walk down the aisle! / WLS surgery day!

3. Afterwards there is a honeymoon both directly after and during the next year. Everything is new and fresh and you look forward to (almost) every day.

4. You now live together and have to get along for the long run. / Your stomach has changed forever and you have to learn and keep up good eating habits.

5. Now you have actually realized your goal of growing old together, but still need to put in the work to keep the marriage going. / You need to keep up the good habits and work that got you to where you are.

So what does this really say about marriage and bariatric surgery?..."Marriage/WLS" is not only about the wonderful "Wedding Day/Surgery Day", but about what comes before, during, and after. You have to keep putting work into it in order to make it successful. If you had problems before that day or develop them along the way, you are going to have problems afterwards as well. If you think that if you "only getting married / only having WLS" will make things ok then you haven't looked beyond that goal.

Now, I want to know what you all think? I am no expert (on anything) and would love to hear what you all think.

Wow , that makes so much sense . I'm still in the honeymoon phase right now!

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Frustr8    7,886

Frustr8
Posted

Only thing I might add is you will start looking good to opposite gender/ easy snack and junk foods. They will try to see if you'll weaken and let them back in Your Life. Do NOT listen to them , you have come so far, done so much, and you're happier and healthier now. You can, if you want, say thank you for the compliment but I'm staying faithful for life to stomach. We have too long a history now to throw it all away!👉😝✋

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Krestel    330

Krestel
Posted

12 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

Only thing I might add is you will start looking good to opposite gender/ easy snack and junk foods. They will try to see if you'll weaken and let them back in Your Life. Do NOT listen to them , you have come so far, done so much, and you're happier and healthier now. You can, if you want, say thank you for the compliment but I'm staying faithful for life to stomach. We have too long a history now to throw it all away!👉😝✋

Aha, the temptation of having an affair!

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Frustr8    7,886

Frustr8
Posted

Yeah but a bag of potato chips, a Box of Cheezits, RoldGold pretzles, I no longer to have an affair with you guys. You weren't good for me before, why should I trust you now? Out Out Out and take your Bio- Pop brother in law with you, I am no longer giving you House Room. Leave quietly or I will put you in the dumpster out back!

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Krestel    330

Krestel
Posted

On 4/27/2019 at 7:29 AM, Frustr8 said:

Yeah but a bag of potato chips, a Box of Cheezits, RoldGold pretzles, I no longer to have an affair with you guys. You weren't good for me before, why should I trust you now? Out Out Out and take your Bio- Pop brother in law with you, I am no longer giving you House Room. Leave quietly or I will put you in the dumpster out back!

You go girl!

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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