Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Rant: MIL is obsessed with people’s weight



Recommended Posts

So this is just me ranting...I am not looking for people to tell me what to do or how to handle this, just figured it would help my aggravation to just “say” it out loud, if that makes any sense...sort of therapy for me. Lol. I dearly love my mother in law but she is ridiculous about people’s weight. I honestly don’t think there has been one single time in the 17 years knowing her that she has not described a friend or someone she knows by how large they are. She has no clue how much this frustrates me because if she says things like this about her friends, what is she saying about me??? I am actually not in a place that I care what she says I just think it’s uncalled for and I have mentioned it to my husband but that’s about it. I just guess I don’t understand why she can’t refer to someone as who they are not how wide they are. I refuse to tell her that I am in the process of surgery because she would likely tell everyone she knows and people she doesn’t know about it and it’s private, only my husband knows. So that’s it, thanks for listening (or reading I guess, ha ha ha). Hope everyone has an awesome first day of spring!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do we have the same mother-in-law? Mine too! She'll talk about her friends, "She's as wide as she is tall" and "She's really large" instead of talking about their personalities or generosity or kindness and I can't help but wonder how describes me to others, probably, "My daughter-in-law is really, really big." It drives me nuts! She knows I'm a large girl, so how can she speak ill of other large people around me? Insensitive and unnecessary! And, to top it off, my MIL isn't exactly small herself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you sure my mother didn't rise from the grave to become your mother-in-law? She was always on my case and even those of people she didn't know - I remember sitting with her when she was in the hospital once and she was complaining that she thought Rachel Ray was getting "tubby!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m with you on not judging on weight but on ANYTHING physical. We are Sooooo much more than these physical shells. Good on ya’ for getting it off your chest!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 03/20/2019 at 16:20, DanaC84 said:

I’m with you on not judging on weight but on ANYTHING physical. We are Sooooo much more than these physical shells. Good on ya’ for getting it off your chest!
Thanks so much it’s bad to say but it makes me feel so much better to hear this from you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 03/20/2019 at 16:10, Diana_in_Philly said:



Are you sure my mother didn't rise from the grave to become your mother-in-law? She was always on my case and even those of people she didn't know - I remember sitting with her when she was in the hospital once and she was complaining that she thought Rachel Ray was getting "tubby!"


Lol thank you! I’m so sorry your mother is passed though. :(.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 03/20/2019 at 13:23, GradyCat said:



Do we have the same mother-in-law? Mine too! She'll talk about her friends, "She's as wide as she is tall" and "She's really large" instead of talking about their personalities or generosity or kindness and I can't help but wonder how describes me to others, probably, "My daughter-in-law is really, really big." It drives me nuts! She knows I'm a large girl, so how can she speak ill of other large people around me? Insensitive and unnecessary! And, to top it off, my MIL isn't exactly small herself!


Omg thank you! I’m so glad it’s not my imagination that people are this oblivious to what they say though I’m sorry you are in the same situation, it is so frustrating. Thanks for your reply!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is my grandmother! It’s so awful

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG. Mine too!!! Size wrinkles and even sex advice. As in what man would ever want to bed with her because... and she thinks of it as caring and love. Honestly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×