After 7 months one of my teammates came up and directly asked me if I had surgery. I paused, then flat out lied and said no. I followed up the lie with truth. My Dr scared me into losing weight plus my Dad died at 58. Said I'm eating significantly fewer calories, tracking on an app, focusing on protein to keep me full, and exercising more. She said that it was inspirational, although she never really said I look good. Guess I just need to be satisfied with the inspirational comment. Most people who have come up to me have said I look good and asked what I've done to lose the weight, but until now no one has mentioned surgery. Wondering if others are thinking it. Regardless, I'm happy I'm keeping this private. #mysecretismine #liar

I realize there are different schools of thought on whether to tell or not to tell. Each person feels differently given their personality, family, friends, life events etc. Regardless it all comes down to respect. Respect for others' decisions and respect for ourselves. We are all fabulous! [emoji8]

I totally disagree with there being a self imposed stigma. I didn’t tell people, not because I was/am embarrassed, but because it’s my business. Each person needs to do what’s right for them. Some people like telling others, some are more private, some might actually be embarrassed and that’s ok. There is no RIGHT way to have WLS

8 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

There is no RIGHT way to have WLS

I absolutely agree. There is no right way to have WLS.

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Some have sleeve, some have DS, some have band, some have a sort of bypass.

Some follow all rules and never get where they want to be, some are a bit less obsessed and are very successful.

Some jump through all hoops, have the waiting period and diet and all and some simply go there and self-pay.

Some have revision because they weren't successful the first time and need a second chance.

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However, there is still "telling the truth when asked" and "telling some fairly tale when asked". If you don't want to tell the truth (I can understand that one doesn't want to tell every jerk on the planet though these people don't tend to want to casual talk to me IRL anyway), at least just raise an eyebrow and say nothing at all.

Sorry but you ask me an a-hole question “did you have weight loss surgery?” You’re getting an a-hole answer

I won’t lie either. After having 5 kids ranging from 21 down to 21 months my body just refuses to get back to normal. And I honestly don’t have time for me! I don’t have an hr to go to a gym to work out. And trying to take time for myself at home is damn joke! I have hbp, arthritis and am just overweight. I needed this tool to help me get back to me. I’m not going to feel bad about getting healthy for me and my family because it’s helping me be able to be around a while longer to enjoy my new self and my family. Can’t wait to get to my goal weight. And you should never care what some dim wit that has no relevance in your life has to say!!! You just do you?

1 hour ago, NYJenn said:

Sorry but you ask me an a-hole question “did you have weight loss surgery?” You’re getting an a-hole answer

Confirming their suspicions. Might just have said "yes, I did", lol.

1 hour ago, jrosehahn said:

And you should never care what some dim wit that has no relevance in your life has to say!!!

I don't know, maybe the amount of jerks in my immediate environment is lower than average but I made the experience that most people mean no ill when asking questions.

They seem to be interested in the whole thing and ask some (to me) innocent questions and then they usually drop the topic. You know something like "So how is this surgery performed?", "Did it hurt much afterwards?", "How does eating feel now? Is it any different?" And, yes - they also might ask "How much weight have you lost?" or "How much did you weigh?" and I say that I'd rather not talk about that and they usually just say "Oh, ok".

I was so happy about my surgery I told a lot of people such as staff, people from my chorus... extended family

If someone is my friend and wants help losing weight I would probably tell them. Otherwise, I tell people or not based on mood. Yesterday I told a woman I barely know that I was eating much smaller portions with more protein and less carbs. It’s not a lie...

Anyone that flat out asks, "Did you have surgery?" is a jerk. Our bodies are our own business. However, several of my aunts and cousins are obese and I saw some of them this weekend for the first time in years. They were so complimentary about I look now. One of them pulled me aside and said she was desperate to lose weight, how did I do it? So I told her all about the surgery, the pros and cons, how it's a great tool to reach your weight loss goals. She was so excited as she had been pondering the surgery and just hadn't worked up the courage to do it yet. She said knowing someone who had had the surgery gave her the confidence to go through with it. I'm glad I decided to tell my family.

On 3/16/2019 at 4:02 PM, rs said:

On 3/16/2019 at 5:53 AM, jaytissle55 said:

I think that is very rude for a coworker to come to you and ask you personal questions.. I would of said excuse me, mind your own business and find someone else to question about there personal journey!!!!! That's what I would of said. No one's business but yours, now if you tell them then that's on you. People are something, I would have a field day telling them about themselves... That's my 2cents....

I felt it was kinda rude too, especially since the surgery question was the first words out of her mouth instead of saying she noticed I lost weight or anything like that.

And my response would have been: Did you have sex last night?

Oh, wait you don't want to answer that personal a question? Really, why did you ask me a similarly personal question.

Turn on heel. Walk away.

People are generally stupid and assume they are entitled to personal information. It is your job to remind them they are not.

I had surgery 3 years ago. to this day, only my husband, my two teen daughters and my best friend know. I used that response fairly often in my first year after surgery. I didn't tell my office other than to say I had to have an abdominal surgical procedure and would be out for a week or two.

See this? Represents a “need to know status!” Bravo!!! Well done!

I do not plan on telling many people. (I have told one close friend and my immediate family.)

The rest, unless it might actually help someone, do not need to know.

If someone else here feels comfortable telling everyone I think that is exactly what is right-for them- and they should absolutely do that.

I guess I can't understand why it seems to bother some on here so much that i might "lie".

I am not somehow cheating someone out of something by choosing to be private about MY body. Why would someone's curiosity trump my right to keep my own life to myself? I am not ashamed- I am also not just gonna entertain every moron with WLS story hour.

So in this vein of thinking, Is everything fair game????

For example, someone goes up to a 60 year old very perky, well endowed woman and says " Wow! You have the boobs of a twenty year old! Did you have that fake t*t surgery?"

Does she HAVE to say yes? Does she HAVE to explain "Well, I was always flat chested" ? Is she "lying" because she is ashamed? Is she perpetuating a "perky t*t" after 60 myth?

Probably not, and the person asking has no right to an answer either.

JUST SAYIN.....

Ive kept mine a secret. Only person that knows besides my doctors and this forum is my husband. Ive had friends that are nurses make commentary about WLS and how people always end up gaining the weight back. Also, ironically at work 1 week before my surgery my coworkers were discussing WLS and they too had negative commentary. Thankfully I have other health issues so they think that is why I was out of work for 2 weeks. I use those other health issues as my excuse for not being able to eat. One of them being an ulcer. Which has actually been the truth. I cant have things that some WLS patients can have. Im truly on a very bland diet cause my ulcer is so bad. Just the way things worked out.

If they end up figuring it out, I dont care, as long as they keep their negative opinions to themselves.

It’s your story to tell or not. Don’t feel guilty about managing your life your way!