Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I have posted a couple of times, asking questions so that I can make a final decision. I am 100% sure that having the surgery is the best decision for my health. I think the biggest obstacle now is a lack of family support. Everyone is my family suffers with a wonderful metabolism, I on the other hand, have a rare disease that causes weight issues, as does the medication I am on for the disease. My doctors all support my decision, but I don't feel comfortable even telling my weight obsessed skinny family members. We live on a large farm, 3 generations and we share meals together (1 large, central kitchen). They eat horrible meals. When/If I tell them, I know they will appear to support my decision, but meals are going to be an issue. The relationships are complicated and so just hoping that they are supportive because they are family, is really a fallacy. I am dealing with hypercritical, judgemental and passive aggressive personalities. Advice?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Buy your own food and cook for yourself. Since they are weight obsessed, If anyone suggests you eat or don't eat something, say "thanks" and then eat what you planned to eat.

My husband and I do some separate shopping and cooking now and it's worked out OK. He cooked all the time before the surgery, and sometimes he will make something I can eat, like plain chicken, and I just weigh 4 oz. and thank him and eat it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Firstly, I am sorry that you have to deal with that. :( To have your family not support you is just awful. I would suggest trying to find support elsewhere (like here!), and maybe there are groups in your area for people who have done WLS as well that you can check in to.

I parrot what JessLess has said though, buy your own food and cook it at home, since they are unlikely to be supportive of your decisions. That's really the only thing you can do, I think, given the situation you are currently in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would agree with the others above. Buy your own food, cook for yourself and just let your family know (in the kindest possible way) that you need to do this for yourself and that if they cannot be supportive of you then they can at least keep their comments to themselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×