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Learning to Trust the Process



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So I'm 19 days post-op RNY and doing great! Just started to eat more solid foods after my visit with my surgeon. He said I'm right on with weight loss - 30 lbs total (13.8 pre-op/16.2 post op). Learning to add in foods and not get all crazy seeing the daily calories rise from 400ish to 700 per day. My old mind says "Oh no! Now you're going to gain with that increase. This process won't work for you!" Then my new mind kicks in and logic prevails. It's funny how our old "diet" minds are always there with illogical thoughts. This is as much of a mental journey as it is a physical journey. Anyone else find themselves with inner voices doubting?

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My inner voice is pure doubt. I'm down 32lbs since 11/1 and I am convinced it is too slow, even though my surgeon is happy. I increase cals soon, but eat 20g or less of carbs a day and average around 450cals a day (all normal for my program). The last 2 weeks I've only lost 4 lbs. I am convinced 100% it's going to not get me down another 104lbs even if I am perfect with my diet, especially when I start increasing. But, I am just following along.... I can't do anything more than that. I'm pretty sure I am going to doubt everything until I see that 140lbs on the scale some day. lol.

Edited by mousecat88

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Hi, you said it right, We do flash right back to our OLD DIET thinking. I doubted it so bad I also was afraid to up my calories. I developed a ADVERSION to food after my RNY. First I tried getting help with a Pysychologist about it all. She had no idea. She had never worked with WLS Peeps. Finally, I talked to my Surgeon about it. He suggested I go to the Nutritionist. Now you would think because she was involved with the process of getting to the surgery, that she would know her stuff. Anyway, she weighed me first (I had lost below the weight my DR wanted me to be) I weighed 117#'s. Mind you I was getting scared due to strictures AND I was vomiting almost with everything I ate. Do you know what she told me to do? Eat every 1/2 hour that I was awake!! Niow you are talking to someone that is SCARED to death to up my calories!! I just knew I would gain my weight back!! Another thing I still struggle with is stepping on the scales!! I started going to a new PCP, because my regular DR retired Dang it!! I have been going to her for 9 months and I do HATE to admit this I have refused to weigh since the one time when I started seeing her. I know I am OK because I go by clothes. She cornered me at my last appointment. I did say I would weigh at my next appointment. But here is the corker, she thought I had left and I heard her talking about me with her personnel at me!! I am a little P***ed, what is patient confidentially!! She must have seen me because she stopped in mid sentence. I don't know maybe I am just being thin skinned. I don't know. What do you all think?

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Nominating her for What a B**** of The Year, don't know who else is running but she should be a shoe-in! Sic the HIPPAA police on her, she deserves it. Down Pitt Bull Frustr8, I wants to si,lay chompers in HER!

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Im going to be one of those people who worry about the scale but you said it, you have to trust the process.

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And I think I shall purchase a scale in January, instead of it telling ME my mistakes maybe now it will compliment ME. Then I will be able to know whether I am stalling or not, I am apprehensive my TPN is Stalling me Out. 1430 calories a day scares me when I was much below that by mouth prior. An expert said I should continue to lose 1-3 pounds weekly, perhaps so but I am 73 with the Basal Metabolism of a Sick Sea Snail, that's why prior to surgery. even with exercise I wasn't losing. Ah, no crying in my milk, it's skim and full of Water already, Just kick back mentally and say "Que Sera, Sera",

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It is defintly a IT IS WHAT IT IS process. I know everyone of us get nervous about it all. We are just tuned that way. After diet after diet and losing the same weight over and over it is a hard obstacle to overcome!!! Trusting the process is hard for sure!! BTW I have decided to confront my DR about what she did the last time I seen her. I only go to her mostly for my pain management. I use FENTYOL Patches and she maid me take a UA every month at first, then it was every time I seen her, up until the last 6 months and she didn't even have me do one. She maid me feel like I am a DRUG SEEKER!! Even if I have to start using Medical Marijuna (which is totally legal here in Oregon) and be taken off my patches I am willing to find another DR. I don't trust her now. If she gabs at work about her PT who else is she talking to. One of the biggest draw backs of using Marijuna is it makes me HUNGRY!!! I actually feel like I can eat the paper of the wall. I can't smoke it because I'm afraid it will make me start smoking again. Oh such sorry. LOL TRUST yourself to do what is best for you!! We are all WINNERS in this game.

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Only time we accept the term Loser is on our Bench of Victory, in all ozther facets you are right WE ARE🏆WINNERS!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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