Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Interpreting men



Recommended Posts

Need a place to vent/rant A guys perspective would be appreciated.

I could be all wrong about this. Could someone explain some things to me about men and social interaction. I'm clueless. When I talk to some men they think I'm hitting on them. When I was obese they never thought I was hitting on them..So why now?

Had a casual conversation with one of the gym regulars I've known for about 2 years. I teased him about being on the phone and not running the track. Nothing inappropriate. It got back to me that he thinks I'm hitting on him. Now when we talk he feels the need to say "you met my wife right?"

I had a conversation with a acquaintance. I asked how his wife was doing. He explained her fibromyalgia was acting up. It got back to me that I am hitting on him because i asked how his wife was. He interpreted it as if I was seeing if he was single...What the hell????

I'm an old fart and married. I don't get it. Should I stop talking to men???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Healthy_life said:

Need a place to vent/rant A guys perspective would be appreciated.

I could be all wrong about this. Could someone explain some things to me about men and social interaction. I'm clueless. When I talk to some men they think I'm hitting on them. When I was obese they never thought I was hitting on them..So why now?

Had a casual conversation with one of the gym regulars I've known for about 2 years. I teased him about being on the phone and not running the track. Nothing inappropriate. It got back to me that he thinks I'm hitting on him. Now when we talk he feels the need to say "you met my wife right?"

I had a conversation with a acquaintance. I asked how his wife was doing. He explained her fibromyalgia was acting up. It got back to me that I am hitting on him because i asked how his wife was. He interpreted it as if I was seeing if he was single...What the hell????

I'm an old fart and married. I don't get it. Should I stop talking to men???

Never let an interaction with 1, affect your interaction with all. I can't even dance around all the things I'd like to say because it will *ALL* come out wrong in this wonderfully PC world we live in. But, not all men think that, not all men act this way, etc etc etc etc stereotypes are bad no matter who we are taking about, etc etc etc.

Take each interaction as it's own. Not sure what this guy is "bringing to the table" in your interaction (meaning his thoughts, feelings, history, moral compass, etc etc etc). I've got a friend that has no idea when girls *ARE* hitting on him... even when it's beyond obvious that it's happening. So... that's my 2 cents.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Matt Z said:

Never let an interaction with 1, affect your interaction with all. I can't even dance around all the things I'd like to say because it will *ALL* come out wrong in this wonderfully PC world we live in. But, not all men think that, not all men act this way, etc etc etc etc stereotypes are bad no matter who we are taking about, etc etc etc.

Take each interaction as it's own. Not sure what this guy is "bringing to the table" in your interaction (meaning his thoughts, feelings, history, moral compass, etc etc etc). I've got a friend that has no idea when girls *ARE* hitting on him... even when it's beyond obvious that it's happening. So... that's my 2 cents.

I am not a part of the PC generation. You wont offend me. Feel free to message me the things you would like to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IT is also possible he is using your interaction as a bragging point to whomever is listening. Doesn't matter the age, the male ego is a silly thing and he may be using these obviously mundane conversations as examples of the attention he brags about to the men in his group.

Or it could just be that he isn't very good at dealing with the opposite sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Healthy_life said:

I am not a part of the PC generation. You wont offend me. Feel free to message me the things you would like to say.

Thanks... it's ok. Overall it's just that, "not everyone is the same" sorta thing is all. Sorry you had a bad interaction, but as they say "don't let 1 spoiled apple ruin the bunch".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Thanks... it's ok. Overall it's just that, "not everyone is the same" sorta thing is all. Sorry you had a bad interaction, but as they say "don't let 1 spoiled apple ruin the bunch".

I also said above its not all Just some. I'm clueless and needed some mansplaining. *laughing* Feeling awkward about the interaction. The last thing I want is to be the creepy woman at my gym.

Edited by Healthy_life

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Healthy_life said:

I also said above its not all Just some. I'm clueless and needed some mansplaining. *laughing* Feeling awkward about the interaction. The last thing I want is to be the creepy woman at my gym.

Doesn't sound like the "issue" was on your side of the interaction at all. Just keep on being you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, BigViffer said:

IT is also possible he is using your interaction as a bragging point to whomever is listening. Doesn't matter the age, the male ego is a silly thing and he may be using these obviously mundane conversations as examples of the attention he brags about to the men in his group.

Or it could just be that he isn't very good at dealing with the opposite sex.

Ok, that makes sense. BTW I have the book you suggested. (Starting strength).Thanks again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't discount the fact that they may simply be more attracted to you now and are using transference to stay ahead of guilt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Doesn't sound like the "issue" was on your side of the interaction at all. Just keep on being you!

Thanks Matt. Needed to hear that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Don't discount the fact that they may simply be more attracted to you now and are using transference to stay ahead of guilt.

I'm feeling awkward and clueless. *laughing* not the first time in life. Interesting that you said Transference to stay ahead of guilt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
A FYI I'm telling on myself. Last time a guy hit on me I was so naive it took me 45 minutes to realize it. Maybe as I lose weight and my Inner Cute starts emerging I should get a little more with it? Hate missing friendly overtures, just might happen?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Healthy_life said:

I'm feeling awkward and clueless. *laughing* not the first time in life. Interesting that you said Transference to stay ahead of guilt.

I think people confuse flirting and common friendship all the time now because it's sorely lacking these days in society

Actually even the boundaries of friendship are blurred in this generation...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Frustr8 said:

A FYI I'm telling on myself. Last time a guy hit on me I was so naive it took me 45 minutes to realize it. Maybe as I lose weight and my Inner Cute starts emerging I should get a little more with it? Hate missing friendly overtures, just might happen?

I'm still used to being invisible. Working on being comfortable. The gym is not a place to hit on someone. To hear back that these two individuals thought I was hitting on them was weird. four years there and this has never come up before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just continue being the person you are. If they are taking your verbiage incorrectly then there is something on their end that makes them feel that way.. Like Green said.. moving the guilt to another party so they dont have to accept it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335
      800-282-0066

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ProudGrammy

      Georgia on my mind - off to grand-daughters high school graduation - she's smart and cute as a button, just like her grammy,☺️
      kathy
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • *Meaghan*

      Went to my initial consult with the Bariatric surgeon/ program I chose. Came home with a folder full of information & helpful organization of all the testing that needs to be completed while I complete the required nutritional counseling. She also let me know my insurance typically takes 6 weeks to reply with authorization when submitted, so that puts my potential surgery date near the new year if all stays on track  I felt comfortable with her, in our discussions she agrees that I am a good candidate for the Gastric Bypass. I appreciated the 'introduction' class that was given after the consult with the surgeon where I was given this binder of every referral (from her, not my pcp referrals), & contact information for all the testing needed to make my contacts/calls tomorrow morning even easier I start my nutrition classes on June 5th, so that's when the clock will start toward insurance approval & getting the tool to help me reach my goals
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Torie Faye

      I had my Bypass Surgery on 04/25/2019 I'd weighted before surgery 308 and now 285. I get depressed because I thought it would be more. I follow all instructions from Dr.. Green walk every day work out and eating solid foods 
      · 1 reply
      1. ProudGrammy

        welcome welcome - 23 lbs pre/post op is great. you are doing fine. keep up the good work. kathy

    • MrsGamgee

      Day 5 post-op... didn't sleep great last night, lots of gas pain and it was my first night without using the rx pain meds. I'm tired and feeling rather stupid. My nurse is supposed to call today for a check in, so I'm debating taking a nap now and risk missing her call, or forcing myself to stay awake and pray she calls soon. Also, showering should be considered a workout... just doing the basics used up all my energy. Weight is slowly working its way down. I know that I shouldn't be on the scale yet, but I couldn't resist. I'm down almost 9lb down since surgery. Yay!
      · 1 reply
      1. Emilia Danciu

        You are allowed to feel tired, take naps and only do the minimum this soon after the surgery. Listen to your body and be good to yourself at this time. Most important things to care about at this time is hydration and protein. It is a full-time job to stay on top of that and prioritize your energy there for now. Just give your body the time to heal and adjust, don’t rush the recovery.

    • jrmolina2006

      seems like the biggest issue right now is consistency in my bowel movement, what are yall using. I've tried probiotics but no luck,
      · 1 reply
      1. domi

        I use benefiber everyday in my water. it is flavorless. On days when I get a little backed up I use Miralax. It works great without any cramping.

  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×