Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Single DUE to surgery



Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, summerset said:

Interesting read.

However, when I've read that only two months after surgery the relationships of these two guys ended... how much weight can you lose in two months? How much attention do these people get to make their partner feel threatened two months after surgery? How many new friends do you gain during this period?

It sounds a bit weird to me. It seems more like these relationships were on their last leg anyway and "surgery" was the scape goat that come along the way the right time.

Perhaps the issues arose before post op - some people undergo at least a six month program before being approved for surgery, if they making changes in that time those changes could trigger issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That could be an explanation because basically all of them reported something like "two months after surgery" and that seems to be a little early for these things to happen.

Anyway, doesn't mean that every second marriage goes down the drain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/1/2018 at 1:31 AM, AshMarie794 said:

Well 7 pm night before my surgery my fiancé pretty much told me to go F&&^% myself and I was selfish for doing it. And that I had to find a ride the next morning to surgery.

Fast forward to now that I am loosing and feeling GREAT. He doesn't get it and is so negative and controlling. I am finally seeing changes in myself and he pulls the rug out from underneath me and I am left feeling worse than before surgery.

And he is overweight and unhealthy. Doesn't care what he eats or drinks. HATES veggies. Eats out all the time. BUT yet he will go to the gym with me........ to control that situation I am sure.

Just UGH at the point and very stressed out. I hope I don't put myself in an plateau due to stress.

I was amazed to see you didn't dump his arse that night.. In my opinion your deserve better than that..

It is hard to help people see the light and change their ways!

You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of negativity

Obviously the op was talking about unhealthy habits and junk food etc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎8‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 5:22 AM, Mikeyy said:

I was amazed to see you didn't dump his arse that night.. In my opinion your deserve better than that..

It is hard to help people see the light and change their ways!

You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of negativity

Obviously the op was talking about unhealthy habits and junk food etc

We have actually split and gotten back together a few times in the last year. Is it my fault at this point also....yes because I keep taking him back. Even with all my new gained self worth it is still hard. I try and stay positive about everything in life. Especially after surgery. I cherish each day now. It is just very hard. But I still put up with it. Maybe one day I will open my eyes. But idk.....its hard. I feel so stuck just due to financial reasons and family issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 9:39 AM, Chiptress said:
On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 8:04 AM, AshMarie794 said:


I have been A-Wall from here for a while but coming back I feel especially on this post I needed to update and get advice. I feel my partner is still very jealous of my progress due to comments made to me by male/female it does not matter. He is INSANLY jealous. And that only seems to getting worse. I try and push though and know I love him but its so hard at time. We have talked about working out together (weight training). But he is 6"2 300lbs and can def pull some weight. I am 5'7 155 and I DO NOT want to get big. Maybe tone up what I have and be more lean. Yes we can put together some routines but he does not listen to me about why I don't want to do some things and why I don't lift like him. why I don't stand a certain way. why I don't do this that and the other. Working out together yesterday at the gym all I could do was cry because he wouldn't listen to me. I don't know how to get through to him.....Def struggling to keep my cool. Stay motivated to stay at the gym. To stay in this relationship. I just don't know what to do.......

Probably best not to work out together. He really sounds very controlling. “I don’t know how to get through to him”. Maybe you can’t get through to him. Maybe he isn’t up for you to “get through to him”. I started going to therapy as soon as I made the decision to have this surgery. I knew I wanted to reset my life & choose better for myself in every aspect. Physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually . They say while doing this surgery that you also have to do the head work. To me that’s just as important as losing the weight. Best of luck

I have pretty much gotten to that point where I accept I cant get through to him. The head work is where I struggle with myself. Because in so many aspect of my life I have taken back control and am a whole new person with all new outlooks. But yet with him I cant overcome it. Maybe its the years of I guess you'd call it emotional abuse....idk but I am trying to focus on me and not letting his negativity invade my head space.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • veisor  »  Panda333

      Hi!
      Thank you for replying.   It means the world to me.  It also confirmed what I been feeling about which procedure to choose.   I fall into the category as you do and elected the sleeve as it seemed to be less invasive and recovery would be better and faster,  however I am so afraid to regain the weight back since I rarely eat and obesity runs in my family.   I have two siblings that had the bypass and they have been successful.  My sister was in the high 400's and is about 140 now and has been for several years since her procedure.  I guess I felt that the sleeve would allow me to have more control, however I realized that I can't control my genetics and that is one of the biggest reasons that I am here.  Yes, I have not always made the best choices but trust me when I say that I have been on the loss and regain + more rollercoaster weight ride for yrs! I have spent so much money as I am sure you have as well as many others who are going through this.  It is not easy and anyone who thinks this is a copout is crazy!!! This has been harder than anything I have done including hiring a personal trainer to kick my butt in the gym! And still with all the gym hours, clean eating "not to mention the clean eating cost" I knew it was time that I moved to the next step to finally be who I know in my head and heart cause when I see myself in the mirror,  well let's just say is not the girl I see in my mind. 
      So thanks again for your reply and I hope that we can keep in touch through our journey. 
      😊
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • AggiG

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Pookeyism

      I'm going in for a sleeve revision October 4th. It worked well for me, and I am not back to my starting weight. However, a revision is strongly encouraged at this time (there are additional medical issues). I have decided to forgo the insurance process, even though I know I would eventually be approved. "Eventually" is the key issue here. I have a small window to create this to where it will not impact my work or home life as much, and waiting for the insurance approval would take over a year.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss

      I just read @BoredCW's status post and also want to lament the loss of my butt.  Looking at me the side, my back is basically flat from my neck to my knees.  My jeans have lovely fabric folds draping from my backside from lack of filling.
      Two days ago, I was sitting on a worn couch at the gym and I could feel the springs and count how many I was sitting on.  Told the Kid and she said she wants to find her childhood alphabet fridge magnets in the basement to spell out words and have me sit on them and do some "butt-braille-reading" 😂
      · 5 replies
      1. FluffyChix

        HI-LAR-ious! I love your kid!!!

        Yeah, we all suffer from noassatall syndrome. :(

      2. 2Bsmaller18

        Yes. I think the spandex in jeans is the only thing that helps keep the sag below the pockets form looking ridiculous. Even leggings wrinkle there.

      3. ms.sss

        Ah, our disappearing collective butts.

        I am seriously considering changing my plastics plan. I am booked for an arm lift in December, but my summer obsession with arm exercises has improved the look of them quite a bit to the point that I think I may hate my butt more than my arms. Should I do a butt lift instead?!?! In conjunction with?!?!?

        I am trying to cultivate an obsession with butt exercises but its not working so far...

      4. 2Bsmaller18

        I don't think you could do both at the same time. For me personally it's arms. I have granny wrinkles down to my elbows. I can always dover my body with tshirts, pants, etc but unless I wear long sleeves my arms are an issue. I also can't wear a small enough jacket since it fits everywhere but too tight in the arms. They measure around 13.5 inches. Can you compromise and get the smaller arm lift. I don't know if that saves much $ or recovery but if your arms improved that much maybe just a tweek will work?

      5. ms.sss

        The difference in price for a mini arm lift and the full arm lift at my surgeon is less thank 2K and probably not worth the savings. May as well pay the extra bit and get the full arm lift as my sag also reaches my elbows. You are right though, my arms see the light of day way more than my butt does...I'll have to see if the continued butt exercises will change my mind down the road (but it's looking more and more that a butt lift is in my future)

        P.S. At the beginning of my 2 week pre-op diet, my upper right arm measured 17.75 inches in circumference. Now its 10. And that is with the extra skin still.

    • BoredCW

      On the 3 week plateau from hell.. It seems like an endless desert with sand dunes that represent the 1-2 pounds gain then dropped from day to day. Met with my weight loss group tonight and was told its normal. That this is sometimes like a step, plateau then drop, plateau then drop. Only for the plateau's to go on longer the farther away from the surgery date I get. Much like EDM, I can't wait for the drop. 
      On top of it all, I lost my ass. Seriously.. its gone. All that cushion that I enjoyed lounging on eating what ever I ate, watching what ever was on the computer or tv... is gone. That glorious support system is vamoosed. I know this because my ass (tailbone) hurts all the time. I'm sitting on bone now and its sore. I am my own literal Pain in the Ass! (My family would say whats new, but who cares about them.. my butt hurts.) I have yet to bring a pillow with me everywhere I go to sit on, but I'm getting ready to as I sit for my job working on computers. So far losing the weight is a Pain. I hope it gets better. 
      · 2 replies
      1. ms.sss

        Hang in there, the plateau will end eventually. Also I feel you on the butt thing.

      2. FluffyChix

        I have a butt pillow. I'm not proud. :D

        The plateaus suck!!!! Keep the faith and motor on!

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×