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I know my message is long, but please read it. I need help!!



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Thank you everyone. To answer the questions about my diet. I try to make healthy food choices, I might slip every now and then. I know my main problem is the amount of wine I drink every night. Since my mom and two sisters passed, wine has been my coping mechanism. I drink plenty of Water. Wine and Water are the only things I drink. I have two glasses of wine per night. I have vowed to stop. Didn't have any last night and the bottles I had I gave them to my sister and cousin yesterday. My sleeve have never stopped me from eating a full meal, never! I would stop myself, because I know I should. My doctor has never checked my blood, never checked for leaks or suggested I have any type of test to see if there's a problem. I pray my insurance will pay for a revision and allow me to see another doctor. I admit I didn't do all I could have done, but my sleeve seem nonexistent. I'm about to make some calls now.
Hang in there. I also had wine issues and yes it will halt your weightloss for a while. Every time I stop, the scale starts moving and that feeling of seeing the scale move again is amazing and motivating. Please seek therapy right away or maybe even just an AA class to get started. I was warned against alcohol as a substitute for food after surgery. I did not take seriously as I was always on control of my wine. For some reason, it escalated after surgery and took a lot of mindfulness to stay away. I am sorry for the loss of your family. I understand completely, I lost my mum 3 days before surgery. I would like to think they would want us to do better and take control our progress and do all we can to continue. Understanding the process it took to get this far, make changes now. Start with putting away the wine which I know is easier said than done, reach out to a local wls support group as meeting others in similar situations help when done on person, most importantly you are your greatest motivator. What do you hope to accomplish with this surgery and what are you doing to be accountable? Also, best food tracking tool to be accountable in regards to food is myfitnesspal app. You log everything you need thereby knowing exactly what you put into your mouth. It counts calorie intake, water intake, fat content, etc. Please start there for diet setbacks. Good luck!

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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I have been clean and sober 7 years. I am active in aa and my home group is actually an online group. So for any women that has drinking our drug issues and need advice or want to talk, message me. I'll give you my number and we can talk. Men too, I can help guide you to a feeling make in this area. I always say I'm a "true addict". I take anything and make it unhealthy; cutting, sex, drugs, alcohol, and especially food.

I'm not trying to make my message a public service announcement, but I want those struggling with other unhealthy coping mechanisms to know that they're not alone.

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I meant I can help men find a male to help. sorry auto correct

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38 minutes ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

Thank you everyone. To answer the questions about my diet. I try to make healthy food choices, I might slip every now and then. I know my main problem is the amount of wine I drink every night. Since my mom and two sisters passed, wine has been my coping mechanism. I drink plenty of Water. Wine and Water are the only things I drink. I have two glasses of wine per night. I have vowed to stop. Didn't have any last night and the bottles I had I gave them to my sister and cousin yesterday. My sleeve have never stopped me from eating a full meal, never! I would stop myself, because I know I should. My doctor has never checked my blood, never checked for leaks or suggested I have any type of test to see if there's a problem. I pray my insurance will pay for a revision and allow me to see another doctor. I admit I didn't do all I could have done, but my sleeve seem nonexistent. I'm about to make some calls now.

Your priority is your health and mental well being. Absolutely change physicians. You are grieving and know wine and food are an issue when dealing with stress/emotions. Treating the mental health side of surgery is just as important as the surgery itself.

Glad you are making your calls. Wishing you the best.

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45 minutes ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

Thank you everyone. To answer the questions about my diet. I try to make healthy food choices, I might slip every now and then. I know my main problem is the amount of wine I drink every night. Since my mom and two sisters passed, wine has been my coping mechanism. I drink plenty of Water. Wine and Water are the only things I drink. I have two glasses of wine per night. I have vowed to stop. Didn't have any last night and the bottles I had I gave them to my sister and cousin yesterday. My sleeve have never stopped me from eating a full meal, never! I would stop myself, because I know I should. My doctor has never checked my blood, never checked for leaks or suggested I have any type of test to see if there's a problem. I pray my insurance will pay for a revision and allow me to see another doctor. I admit I didn't do all I could have done, but my sleeve seem nonexistent. I'm about to make some calls now.

Honestly...you've answered your own question about "why" you haven't lost more. I promise you I know that adding in the wine will dead cold stop you in your tracks and derail you--and if it's true transference/alcoholism--can and will kill you after contributing to massive regain.

Please get help?!!! Please. We can't provide the kind of help you need--an addiction specialist and someone very well-versed with bariatrics and food addiction as well.

I'm so sorry about your mom and sis. And sorry your doc is an asshat!!

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Spoke with my insurance company. They will allow me to go to another weight loss doctor to address my problem and see how I can get back on track, but will not pay for a revision surgery. Well I'm gonna pray he did my sleeve right and it's as simple as putting the wine bottle down, getting in more exercise and counting my calories better. If my sleeve wasn't done right, of course I will go after the a*****e doctor I used. Wish me luck.

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14 minutes ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

Spoke with my insurance company. They will allow me to go to another weight loss doctor to address my problem and see how I can get back on track, but will not pay for a revision surgery. Well I'm gonna pray he did my sleeve right and it's as simple as putting the wine bottle down, getting in more exercise and counting my calories better. If my sleeve wasn't done right, of course I will go after the a*****e doctor I used. Wish me luck.

Good Luck to you IANMS. I was thinking about starting this process a few years ago because of a person I met who had lost over 200lbs through WLS. I never once felt like they "took the easy way out" because I talked to her about the whole process and her experience. it was truly an inspiring experience.

I knew I was going to do it after meeting her, but then my best friend's wife had the surgery and it was completely ineffective for her. I was forlorn and somewhat put off about getting it going. I found out later that she wasn't losing weight because she was drinking all her calories. Not just alcohol, but milkshakes and other bad sugary drinks as well. She finally decided to cut these things out and the pounds started melting away, it was just the catalyst she needed along with exercise and getting in her Water.

I know it will be hard, but there's no other way to do it.

Good luck to you!

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1 minute ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

Spoke with my insurance company. They will allow me to go to another weight loss doctor to address my problem and see how I can get back on track, but will not pay for a revision surgery. Well I'm gonna pray he did my sleeve right and it's as simple as putting the wine bottle down, getting in more exercise and counting my calories better. If my sleeve wasn't done right, of course I will go after the a*****e doctor I used. Wish me luck.

I hope nothing is intrinsically wrong with the sleeve surgery!! ((hugs))

But the solution of "putting the wine bottle down, getting in more exercise, counting cals better" is not a "simple" solution. Cuz right? If it were "simple" don't you think you would have done it? I truly think you are "not lazy, an epic fail, fill-in-your-loser-adjective-here." I think you are in trouble and need trained help -- emotionally/psychologically/and perhaps physical too.

Hang in there and keep fighting for your rights and to be heard!! And come here for all the support you need. We're here--just not skilled to give advice!!!

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The thing with all WLS is that it is a tool and we have to choose to use that tool and show it who is in charge. With bands and sleeves they are both restrictive only procedures so they can only help control quantity not quality.

There are many foods that are sliders as they are high calorie and easy to overeat but when the calories come from liquid there is nothing the surgery will do to help.

I love wine. I don’t do hard alcohol or fizzy sugary drinks but a glass or 2 of wine at night helps me relax and sleep. But I also recognise that in terms of weight loss/ maintenance it is not a good habit. If you have a dependency problem then obviously you need to quit and get support from a group such as AA. If you don’t then there are other things you can do to cut back .

Choose dry wine rather than a sweet wine.

Have half wine and half soda Water ( if you make your own you can control the amount of carbonation)

Start by drinking only every second night. Then try to stick to only drinking at weekends.

Dont buy the wine or buy less wine

Hope some of this helps and that you get back to losing again

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@elcee yes, very helpful. No, I don't have a dependency, I can stop at any time and have now chose to stop. I, like you would use the wine to help me relax and sleep. But since the deaths of my mom and two sisters, I was also using it to dull the pain of their loss. I know that's not the way, so to stop drinking the wine isn't the problem. The problem is my sleeve never restricted me from eating large portions, well larger than I should be able to eat. I just wish I knew why. Hopefully I will find that out once I get another weight loss doctor.

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5 minutes ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

The problem is my sleeve never restricted me from eating large portions, well larger than I should be able to eat.

I think this can be a common problem. Often a person feels like they can eat more than they should. What should have been explained to you prior to surgery is that even if you feel like you can eat more DON'T, just eat the recommended portion. The body needs to get used to feeling satisfied rather than "full" or "stuffed" . It can take a while to recognise this new feeling.

The danger is that by eating more the sleeved portion of the stomach can stretch and accomodate more.

Hopefully you can find a new team that will help you and enable you to achieve success

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Somethings not right with your surgery, from day 1 have bot been able to eat more than a couple of ounces at a time. Now a year on I still can’t eat more than a few mouthfuls at a time. My surgeon told me he took away 90% of my stomach and I still struggle to eat. Perhaps the insurance company need to hear your complaints about him. They won’t be happy if they paying out for something that’s not working.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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