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Long term struggles



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I had my duodenal switch 5 years ago and skin removal 3 years ago. Now weight has gone back up and I'm struggling HARD! I'm looking for friends and motivation to get me back on the right track again. I'm finding myself slipping back into the depression stage of oh well and eating feelings.

I hate that my energy has gone down and my motivation is drowning. I know what to do but its hard to get going. I couldn't eat and then one I could eat things again well it was like I had to try everything to see if I would get sick.

Now I work in an office and they are always talking about food. what they ate, or are going to eat all day. I find my self snacking instead of eating regular meals. And taking the time to eat healthy is the worst. I'm constantly in a rush and eating the easy foods, then I hate myself for it.

I could go on and on... but I won't.

Anyone else here or been here?

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First off congratulations on your initial weight loss. 110lbs is a considerable amount. Next you went through the expense and pain of skin removal so you're pretty much invested in YOUR weight loss success. Is the weight regain causing your depression or is it something else?

There are strategies that can help you. First, do you have anyone close by to work with you with a plan of action? If so, then get a plan of action together. Plan your meals, take them to work with you, Concentrate on the 80 grams of Protein first, have rescue foods handy such as Protein Bars, 1/4 cup of mixed nuts, etc. Have your friend text or call you or you call them at least once a day to see if you are doing well with your action plan. ( This makes you accountable to someone). Remember it's "the little things" like parking away from the building, walking a few flights of stairs or just standing at your desk instead of sitting all day.

Ask those close to you for help. Making yourself accountable to others will help to get you back on track. I have two people I reach out to each day. My sponsor in Overeaters Anonymous and another member of OA who also has WLS. It really helps if you have others working with you.

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Find a nutritionist, a wls support group, a therapist, just start somewhere. Download an app for tracking food (Baritastic, myfitnesspal, LoseIt - all free), buy a new fancy Water thermos, new sneakers, a journal for your feelings, clean the junk food from your cupboards, buy a week's worth of lunch food and divide it into containers...etc

Stop shaming yourself, forgive yourself, and move on, success can be yours.

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I think part of success is surrounding yourself with like-minded people who are experiencing success.

I so agree with Danny and Sosewsue that the beatings must stop. Experience shows morale NEVER improves under these conditions.

I think you have to re-believe you can do this and get hold of things. The first is with utter honesty to yourself and others. So start by making a ticker, posting your stats--take weight and measurments. Then plan, plan, plan.

I completely agree with going to see your surgeon and RD for a check-up and to get a new plan. Haul out the old RD plan. And choose the day or meal and simply START. Commit to the one meal. And do it. Commit to limiting snacking and dumping the crap--kick it to the curb. Bring a cheese stick or an ounce of dense Protein. And eat it if you feel snacky at first. Then commit to the second meal and third and fourth, then commit to the next entire day...then the next. And it builds up.

Success is nothing more and nothing less than tiny, baby, consistent, actionable steps that are repeated daily/routinely. Don't look too far down the road. Stay in the moment and the do the tiny baby step work. The future takes care of itself.

Also, never underestimate the power of a good walk to or a good fast workout with sweating and raised heart rate to lift the spirits. Research is showing exercise and getting out in the sun can be as effective as mood elevator drugs -- without the side effects of weight gain.

Hugs and hang in there. You've taken the first step. Now it's time to take the next.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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