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My wife lost weight. I cook for the house. So when I didn't cook for a month, she didn't eat well and lost about 15lbs - down to her prebaby weight.

Then I started cooking again, she joked that she'd regain it. But again, i was serving far smaller portions. In the past I just srved her what I was having and she ate more than needed. So she lost a little more still.

It's been a good unanticipated NSV. She's a perfect size anyway, but seems happier in her skin less the baby weight.

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On 08/03/2018 at 07:52, AshAsh1 said:



My husband is fairly skinny. He eats better now as a result of me cooking and shopping better, but still indulges in his junk food. Even though he doesn't need to lose weight, he's commented about how he hates to eat in front of me because it makes him feel like a "pig" (his words not mine). I've found that he doesn't get up for seconds at dinner time, rather he warms up those seconds after I go to bed. It's like he is ashamed or something. I've tried to reassure him, but I know it will take time for him to adjust, just like it has taken time for me.


Aw poor guy! Would it help if you reminded him that as a guy who is taller, heavier and has more muscle mass he literally NEEDS more calories than you do?

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On 08/05/2018 at 10:33, jess9395 said:

Aw poor guy! Would it help if you reminded him that as a guy who is taller, heavier and has more muscle mass he literally NEEDS more calories than you do?
I know, I feel terrible. I have reassured him and reminded him of those things. When I went to my girlfriends about it for advice, they said even they feel that way when eating around me. I think time will change this, I hope. If not, I think my next step is to get advice from the doctor.

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Mine gained weight because he was eating all my left overs and had more helpings at home because i don’t get as much as I had before surgery. Finally clicked while we were on vacay. He could not figure out why he had put on 30lbs that year after and was eating off my plate at a restaurant and it actually hit me at that point. I said OMG you’ve gained because your eating your plate and the 3/4 to 1/2 of mine. Hahahaha!! He stopped eating my leftovers and started measuring his food at home.

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Leading up to my surgery, mine swore he was going to get on a program and lose some weight because he wasn't going to have his wife looking all fine while he was fat. LOL He's a big dude 6'4 so he carries weight well but he could probably get off 50lbs. Since the surgery, he hasn't changed anything. He's doing like other's partners and eating my leftovers. Unfortunately it's not just him, but the kids too. It's not an issue at home because I only put on my plate what I intend to eat, but when we go out it's a problem.

It's funny because most of my immediate family (hubby, sister, mom) all hoped that me losing weight would inspire them to do better. So far they claim that I'm losing weight and they're just finding it. LOL.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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