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Did your marriage or relationship die after you lost the weight?



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I wonder if she’s insecure about your new figure? Like is she worried you won’t love her now cause you lost weight?

I have heard this surgery can do a number on marriages, because of all of the emotional stuff we go through.

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Also- you look great and remember- how people treat others usually has more to do with how they’re feeling internally.

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You look amazing George! Dr Phil always says to remove all toxic people from your life, especially if they don’t want to change. It’s like a drug addict, you can’t make them stop they have to want to. Good luck with everything.

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2 hours ago, insta_adventurer said:

Also- you look great and remember- how people treat others usually has more to do with how they’re feeling internally.

Thanks.I need to remember that.

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45 minutes ago, superthin said:

You look amazing George! Dr Phil always says to remove all toxic people from your life, especially if they don’t want to change. It’s like a drug addict, you can’t make them stop they have to want to. Good luck with everything.

Wow thanks!I actually tried to get on the show about our marriage but never heard back😂

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You look like a normal man to me.

i am sorry you’re going through this but if someone isn’t making you happy and can’t support you then it’s time to try and fix it or leave.

Continue with your success and again, you look great

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6 hours ago, Bryn910 said:

You look like a normal man to me.

i am sorry you’re going through this but if someone isn’t making you happy and can’t support you then it’s time to try and fix it or leave.

Continue with your success and again, you look great

Thank you.I realize it’s time to go.

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It sounds like so much is going on. It’s not just your weight loss, but her badmouthing you to your child and telling you you’re not attractive. To top it off, she is hurting you financially. That just sounds wrong. You look very nice and I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
No matter how bad things are, I know it’s still hard to deal with the loss of your marriage. Take time to process and take care of yourself.
((Hugs))

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2 hours ago, Kimber628 said:

It sounds like so much is going on. It’s not just your weight loss, but her badmouthing you to your child and telling you you’re not attractive. To top it off, she is hurting you financially. That just sounds wrong. You look very nice and I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
No matter how bad things are, I know it’s still hard to deal with the loss of your marriage. Take time to process and take care of yourself.
((Hugs))

Thanks Kimber it probably sounds lame but I could use a real hug☺️It’s been so long since I’ve felt loved.But I’m still holding out hope that somewhere on this planet there is Simone

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There is someone, I fully believe this! You just need to take some time to find yourself and learn some self love. Sorry if I get too social worky lol!!

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Maybe the root cause of her unhappiness is because she hasn’t lost any weight. It sounds like she can also benefit from the surgery and then maybe you two can work out the some of your differences? Don’t be discouraged, you look great bro

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George you look great man! Deep down you know that everything you went through to get healthy you did for you and your family. So your wife is not happy with herself and doing all these things to lash out at you. It is her insecurity and she is trying to make you think it's all your fault. Regrettably I know from personal experience with a divorce 12 years ago that this is a way the other person rationalizes what they are doing to you by trying to get you into a place where you think you are crazy or ugly or fill in the blank... The bad part is that when you are going through it that you actually start to think they are right, but it is just a tactic to justify their actions.

Hang in there you have done a lot of tough work to get to where you are (looking and feeling good about yourself) so do not let her get you into that place where it seems she wants to put you. Good luck and keep moving forward!

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@ScoutCR Thanks man.I’m just hurting inside in ways I didn’t think were possible.I just don’t understand how could I love her with my all,and sacrifice everything for her happiness,and she doesn’t even care about me?The worst part is what are son is going through now and will go through.I don’t even know if I will know what to do on a date.I think what happened is after surgery I found a new confident me!I don’t think she liked that.I believe she liked the me that believed nobody else would want me.I realize that it’s not ok for us to be treated like this!I know that there is a woman out there that will truly love me for me.I’m not taking this baggage with me I choose to release it.

Edited by George OG

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George, Good for you, but I will tell you that even with your positive attitude it will still be the most stress you have ever had, but there is life after divorce. Be strong, keep your good attitude, and take care of your son as she will not make it easy once she sees you are willing to leave her! Take it slow on the dating scene and do not rush into a relationship just because someone is attracted to you. I did that because my first wife had me so insecure about myself.

You are correct in your summary that your wife does not like the new more confident you! When my marriage fell apart I was on a very high note with my career and she tried to tear me down at every opportunity. I also was losing weight with the success of my career and the renewed confidence and those things combined gave her insecurity and I saw real hatred directed at me. I also could not believe that someone I loved with all my heart could try to destroy me. In the end I had to find leave the relationship for my own good and you know that once I was free of her it felt like chains were taken off of me! Good luck and remember there is someone out there for everyone, just proceed slowly.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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