How/What do you tell your kids?

[Heather_A 45]

Hi there,
Like many of you I’m a parent. I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. My oldest is worrier by nature, therefore I haven’t mentioned the surgery in front of them.
I think I’ll wait until a couple of days before and share it with them. The question is what should I tell them? How do I explain it in a way that doesn’t make them worry about me. Obviously I’m their mom and they don’t see my imperfections so I’m worried they won’t understand why. I hope I’m making sense, thanks for your input!!

[Lmcdooley 34]

5 minutes ago, Heather_A said:

Hi there,
Like many of you I’m a parent. I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. My oldest is worrier by nature, therefore I haven’t mentioned the surgery in front of them.
I think I’ll wait until a couple of days before and share it with them. The question is what should I tell them? How do I explain it in a way that doesn’t make them worry about me. Obviously I’m their mom and they don’t see my imperfections so I’m worried they won’t understand why. I hope I’m making sense, thanks for your input!!

I have a 7 and 13 year old. I was honest with them. I said I was going in for surgery to make myself more healthy, so I can go for walks and hikes with them. My son was upset because he also worries, but I hugged and reassured him a lot. After the surgery they were helpful and supportive. My son still worried a lot and was upset but now two weeks out he sees a difference in me already.

[Heather_A 45]

Thanks for your input! You son sounds a lot like mine. I think that’s why I want to wait until
I’m closer to surgery date. I feel there is no need to ruin him summer.
Good luck to you and I’m glad your kids can already see a difference!

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

My girls were 16 and 14 when I had my surgery. We have always been honest with them. I told them what the procedure was, why I was having it done (to be healthier) and that I would be in the hospital overnight. One was a worrier, both were ok in the end. Please don't wait until a day or two before surgery. Give them time to absorb. Give them time to ask questions. Answer questions honestly and in terms they can understand. The worst thing you can do is hide it from them. Let them know you are doing this so you can be healthier and spend time with them.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

My kiddo is college age and was my biggest cheerleader. I feel a little bad I had surgery over her finals....but she stayed at school and phoned her Dad and it worked out great.

[elmatador 167]

My kids are 7, 10, and 12. I just explained the surgery, how it works, and why I was doing it - to get healthier. Talked about what to expect with my recovery in broad strokes. They got it and have been wonderful support and encouragement!

[Missouri-Lee's Summit 1,256]

There are books for children that supposedly prepare them for a parent's surgery, but none seem to address bariatric surgery in particular.

I found no YouTube videos that explain a parent's bariatric surgery to their children.

I did find a few articles, though, including a past conversation about this topic on bariatricpal.com. I hope these links will help! (They're listed in no particular order. Meaning: the most helpful link might be first, in the middle, or last!)

http://www.mydestinationweightloss.com/blogs/talking-with-your-kids-about-weight-loss-surgery

https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/209717-telling-your-child-youre-having-wls/

https://www.uhn.ca/PatientsFamilies/Health_Information/Health_Topics/Documents/Talking_to_Children_about_Bariatric_Surgery.pdf

https://www.stirthewonder.com/when-a-parent-has-surgery/

http://health.alot.com/wellness/talking-to-your-family-about-bariatric-surgery--3074

http://blog.care4hire.com/surgery/270

Edited July 18, 2018 by Missouri-Lee's Summit

[YeahOkay31 651]

Mine are 7 and 3. I never presented my "weight" as my problem to my kids. I don't want to mess with their little minds or feed into negative social constructs. I am all about body acceptance and positively as long as you are healthy. I told them, Mommy's stomach got stretched out and so the doctor is going to make it the right size again. They handled it well.

My 3 year old is the cutest--he makes us "dinner" using play-dough and he makes mine the smallest for my little tummy.