I'm a month away from surgery and don't know how to talk with my staff that I'm getting WLS. I go back and forth if I should tell them or not. I'm their manager and know most will be very supportive but am unsure how I can interact on a daily basis with ones that will be difficult about it. I know I have one employee that I respect and consider to be a friend that hates all surgery because he feels that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Clearly I'm broken and need this surgery. Any help would be great.

I also manage a team and have chosen not to tell them that I am getting WLS. I don't want the eyes on me, the questions, the opinions. This was already a hard enough decision and a very personal one. I'm 1 week to surgery, so I will find out in the months to come if I made the right decision.

12 minutes ago, k_nephew said:

I also manage a team and have chosen not to tell them that I am getting WLS. I don't want the eyes on me, the questions, the opinions. This was already a hard enough decision and a very personal one. I'm 1 week to surgery, so I will find out in the months to come if I made the right decision.

The eyes! I've had no fewer than two people I've worked with for years give me elevator eyes and my God is it ever creepy.

Nooooo! Don't tell. You didn't tell them you were fat so don't tell them you're not.

I've had co workers analyze what im eating or not eating and ask me to many questions.

I've even had super supportive co workers get on my nerves with silly nicknames or tell me im getting to thin etc. let them mind their own business for your own peace of mind.

At first I hid it from everyone for 10 months. Once I had the surgery I didn't give one care. It's my body and now I've inspired 2 coworkers to start looking into it for themselves. Be prepared for people to try to sabotage you. They don't understand how it feels to not have the cravings anymore. My first few weeks one particular coworker brought in donuts and pizza and was trying to get me to eat it seeing if I would cave. I whipped out my greek yogurt, smiled, and politely stated I appreciated the offer but do not crave that stuff anymore and am eating to live not living to eat.

I explained that I can get full off of either but only one will provide the proper nutrition my body needs so why bother with the unhealthy stuff. That completely knocked her off guard and ever since she hasn't tried it since. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, be prepared for sabotages, understand everyone has their own "opinion" on it, you will hear a lot about failed attempts (scientifically this is a small number), and just do you!

At the end of the day it is your body, and they can either jump on the train of support or get off!!! Good luck and best wishes your way!!!!!!!!

Note: Again I didn't tell anyone until after the surgery. I didn't need the doubts, afterwards what is done is done!

Well, I started off being open about it but I can feel the judgement from certain individuals about it..

If I could go back in time? I’d keep it to myself

No don't tell them. Even though they may be great people, your medical issues do not need to be an open book, especially for a supervisor. It puts the workers in an awkward position and IMO is unprofessional to overly share.

I told people I work with before I told my family. Only because we are a very close knit group. My family I only told my mother and brother 2 weeks before only because I didn’t want everyone’s opinion whether I should have surgery or not. Not anyone else’s decision, They all know now and are supportive because it’s a done deal.

Unless you are ok with everyone at work knowing, I’d keep it to yourself. Co-workers are gossipy. If you tell a few, pretty soon they will all know

On 06/04/2018 at 15:15, NYJenn said:

Unless you are ok with everyone at work knowing, I’d keep it to yourself. Co-workers are gossipy. If you tell a few, pretty soon they will all know

I had the this initial reaction and then realized they were going to talk anyway might as well let them talk with facts as opposed to what ever rumors they could imagine. But that’s just me. Totally get not saying anything to certain people (in my case my entire family I don’t live near).

I also told everyone. I have not heard one negative comment from anyone. If they are talking behind my back, that is ok. If anyone has anything to say negatively about the subject, that too is ok. I know that I thought it was the easy way out before I finally decided to go with the surgery. I understand where their thoughts come from. Naturally skinny people automatically think, just put down that fork. They have no idea and no matter what you do, they will never truly understand. Heck, even I don’t. I can’t live worrying about other people’s opinions of me. If they have a problem with it, well that is it. It is their problem. I will do whatever I have to do be healthy and happy.

If friendships are lost, then it was a one sided friendship.

I am with you. I feel like it is only my business. I have told my boss, but only because I am going to be out of work for a bit. Then my husband and best friend. I just feel like it is something so personal, and I don't want to hear the judgements of a decision that I have already made. (With my research, education, and thought.) You do you.