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Emotional issue and I can't eat!!



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Ok, what the heck am I supposed to do with myself when some emotional problem happens and I want to eat? What else do I do?

Today my really good friend of 15 years called to tell me she was pregnant after just 2 mo of trying. I love my friend and am overjoyed for her but I have been struggling with infertility for years. So, of course I am happy for her. But I feel bad for myself...why can't that happen to me, blah blah blah and I am having a pity party here. So of course the first thing I want to do is eat, but I can't bc I slimed this morning and I am so sore, that when I tried to eat lunch it got stuck too. So I am on liquids and I don't know what the heck to do with my depressed self to make me feel better.

I went to the gym and worked out for 75 minutes, but that didn't really make me feel better.

Then I decided to go shopping and maybe heal my woes with some retail therapy...but that didn't work either.

Should I just deal and tomorrow will be better? food always made me feel better and I don't know what to substitute that with now.

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Well for starters, I applaud you for attempting to refocus your energy by working out and by shopping. I'm also proud of you for taking care of yourself after sliming.

Have you thought of just being able to cry? It's no shame in letting that out. I have friends that have struggled with infirtility and I see how hard they have to cope with the news of someone else becoming pregnant. If you haven't, go for it. It seems to help. Also, a nap may help you with the restlessness or a walk outside in the air.

I know it sucks and I do feel for you. I'm not going to give you the whole, "it'll happen for you in time..." and blah speech, cause I know it sucks and it's not going to help. Sooooooo, here's a big hug and know that it does help to vent. Also know that everyone else in here is proud of you for recognizing the strength that you are exercising over not eating...

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Hi tulip,

First of all a huge ((((HUG)))) Infertility is such an awful thing to deal with, and it does impact on your relationships with other people. You might want to try posting on iVillage.co.uk: The website for women , they have a big section on the message boards for fertility and I found them to be a great comfort when I was going through a hard time.

On the food subject, I cant think what would help,what about a nice flavored sugar free popsicle, but it is ok to cry you know, I think that sometimes we use food to almost numb ourselves to things that are upsetting us rather than acknowledging that it is ok to feel that way.

I hope that your infertility problems can be resolved hon.

Nina x

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Try writing in a journal or something like that. It sounds like you have some true feelings about your infertility that need to get out.

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Im very sorry you are feeling the way you are now.

I want to say be CAREFUL with shopping to make feel "better"

You can get into a dangerous cycle and possible addiction by replacing shopping with food. I sometimes just worry about shopping myself once i get to goal becoming a problem.

SO just be aware. I use to use working out as a stress reliever. Honestly I need to find something myself to learn to help me deal with stress.

Im thinking about yoga .

Mindy

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Well, two things and you've already done one of them! That is, you came here for support! No, it won't change your situation but it's something to take your mind off of things.

And the other? Well, I'm no expert but I've read on this very informed board that losing weight can positively affect one's fertility. So in this case, turning to food is the last thing you want to do!

Finally, when you turned to food before, it surely didn't change whatever situation that upset you and you probably didn't feel good about it later. So whatever comfort you got was temporary. As you begin to face things without food, you'll find that many of them aren't as bad as they first seem.

You're a young and beautiful woman and I hope things work out for you! :hug:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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