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Took my wife out to dinner I am 4 weeks post op GVS...



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I wanted to Celebrate Mother's day with my wife, and she has been concerned i may not ever be able to eat out again. I have been feeling out of sorts not eating with my family (or at least eating the same things) as I am still on the pureed stage. I did some research on a local restaurant that serves Mexican food, the wife's favorite. I told her we were going out and she again voiced concern I would just be watching her eat, but I had it planned out. She ordered her regular and I ordered a grilled chicken breast, minus rice and extra refried Beans. While waiting for the meals we had salsa and chips, or I should say I had salsa. Wife almost freaked out when she saw me grab a chip but relaxed when she saw I was just using it to scoop up salsa, which I would eat without eating the chip. I did try a little bit of queso but was still fearful it may be too rich so stopped at a taste.

Our dishes arrived and I slowly ate my refried beans over the course of 30 to 40 minutes and stopped when I started getting those "full" signals from my body. I got to go boxes and my wife asked me what I was going to do with the chicken breast, I just smiled and said chicken salad made with salsa instead of mayo. I still had enough beans to make up meals for the next two days.

I needed this, some normalcy to my life, where I felt I could be included in something as simple as taking my wife out. It was not completely the same, not drinking at meals still feels weird and of course I do miss the after dinner margarita ;)

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WTG! Congrats! Learning the ins-and-outs of "living normally" and discovering your new normal is such a freeing experience isn't it? :)

We're learning so many new rules pertaining to dining. We basically order for one and I usually add some kind of "side" thing. So dang cheap! Then I rob some of DH's plate to fill my saucer out a bit. :)

Here's what we do on Mexican.

Most stuff in Texas is served with either refrieds of borracho Beans. I prefer borracho's. So hubs will order a plate. And we'll tack on either a side of pico or a side of guacamole, or side of extra avocado.

So I'll steal about 1 oz of his chicken or beef from dinner, his borracho beans, and about 1 tbsp of Mexi rice for the beans. And I'll have about 1oz of guac. I also bring a small bag of pork skins so I can use them to dip salsa and queso (legally). Or for more carbs you could bring a couple of beanito chips. But that's for later once you're past purees.

In the early days I stole his refried beans (no rice) and had a bit of guac. Was perfectly happy with the one meal and side! :)

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Way to go! I have been to restaurants with the family and I have done similar to you. Almost any place will accommodate my special requests. If I order my own plate of food most of it comes home for additional meals. That feeling of being able to go out with the family and do "typical" things is all part of our learning process. You did a great job. :)

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Unfortunately my husband likes to go out a lot and has pressured me to go. It is a struggle that we are working through. He has dialysis 3 nights a week so he doesn't want to leave me home. I have learned I can eat shrimp, lobster, salmon (nothing fried, little tiny bites and chew, chew, chew). Chili is also a good option since it has Beans. I mostly eat the beans. I always take food home. If I order a whole meal, my daughter has lunch for the next day.

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We're going out tomorrow for my son's college graduation and an advance Mother's Day. He wants barbecue. I'm planning to get a baked potato and think I'll be all right, especially if I can get the "fixins" on the side! I'll bring the leftovers home and one of the boys can finish it up the next day. I still eat so little that it probably won't be obvious that I had any at all.

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My wife and daughter and I are doing dinner theater on Saturday for Mothers day. The meal will mostly come home cause i know if i eat the salad i will not have room for the main course but the main course will be a medium flat Iron steak so it will reheat good for lunch the next day.

It is nice to get out and see a show and just hang out. It can get tiresome to always be the WL person and it doesnt take much effort to find menu items that fit and you get 2 or meals for the price of 1

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On 5/11/2018 at 7:05 AM, careteam70 said:

I wanted to Celebrate Mother's day with my wife, and she has been concerned i may not ever be able to eat out again. I have been feeling out of sorts not eating with my family (or at least eating the same things) as I am still on the pureed stage. I did some research on a local restaurant that serves Mexican food, the wife's favorite. I told her we were going out and she again voiced concern I would just be watching her eat, but I had it planned out. She ordered her regular and I ordered a grilled chicken breast, minus rice and extra refried Beans. While waiting for the meals we had salsa and chips, or I should say I had salsa. Wife almost freaked out when she saw me grab a chip but relaxed when she saw I was just using it to scoop up salsa, which I would eat without eating the chip. I did try a little bit of queso but was still fearful it may be too rich so stopped at a taste.

Our dishes arrived and I slowly ate my refried Beans over the course of 30 to 40 minutes and stopped when I started getting those "full" signals from my body. I got to go boxes and my wife asked me what I was going to do with the chicken breast, I just smiled and said chicken salad made with salsa instead of mayo. I still had enough beans to make up meals for the next two days.

I needed this, some normalcy to my life, where I felt I could be included in something as simple as taking my wife out. It was not completely the same, not drinking at meals still feels weird and of course I do miss the after dinner margarita ;)

That is awesome! You give me hope that eventually after my procedure I will still be able to socialize with family and friends around food

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I’m so happy to hear this. My husband had the sleeve 5/7. I feel so bad to eat in front of him. You give us hope and I wish the best to you and your family in your journey!

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Don't feel bad eating in front of him. I have no hunger and sit with my family for dinner. I'll eat my tiny dinner with them. I notice how fast they eat. I never noticed before. I don't feel left out at all.

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22 hours ago, domi said:

Don't feel bad eating in front of him. I have no hunger and sit with my family for dinner. I'll eat my tiny dinner with them. I notice how fast they eat. I never noticed before. I don't feel left out at all.

Well I’m glad to hear this. When I read this to him he laughed and said yes y’all all eat real fast and never noticed it before. Thank you

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I wanted to Celebrate Mother's day with my wife, and she has been concerned i may not ever be able to eat out again. I have been feeling out of sorts not eating with my family (or at least eating the same things) as I am still on the pureed stage. I did some research on a local restaurant that serves Mexican food, the wife's favorite. I told her we were going out and she again voiced concern I would just be watching her eat, but I had it planned out. She ordered her regular and I ordered a grilled chicken breast, minus rice and extra refried Beans. While waiting for the meals we had salsa and chips, or I should say I had salsa. Wife almost freaked out when she saw me grab a chip but relaxed when she saw I was just using it to scoop up salsa, which I would eat without eating the chip. I did try a little bit of queso but was still fearful it may be too rich so stopped at a taste.
Our dishes arrived and I slowly ate my refried Beans over the course of 30 to 40 minutes and stopped when I started getting those "full" signals from my body. I got to go boxes and my wife asked me what I was going to do with the chicken breast, I just smiled and said chicken salad made with salsa instead of mayo. I still had enough beans to make up meals for the next two days.
I needed this, some normalcy to my life, where I felt I could be included in something as simple as taking my wife out. It was not completely the same, not drinking at meals still feels weird and of course I do miss the after dinner margarita [emoji6]

Very thoughtful of you! This was a great story for me to hear. Our spouses shouldn’t miss out due to our surgeries. Loved the details of how you managed Mexican!


HW: 225
SW: 214 (5/2/2018)
CW: 207
GW: 145

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I am 7 weeks out from surgery and my wife and I have shared many of the same thoughts. She was afraid to eat in front of me but I finally convinced her it was not a problem. I just use my small plates, eat slowly and after 46 years of marriage she finally finishes eating most of her meal before me. We were both concerned about having to give up our favorite recreation, eating out.

We have been out to eat 4-5 times in last 3 weeks and easily found food to eat. Enchiladas can be opened to eat the shredded chicken and refried Beans, grilled or broiled fish goes down easy, shredded pork and chopped brisket go down easily. Mashed potatoes and thoroughly chewed french fires have worked well, and there is always soft scrambled eggs with some hash browns.

I seem to be able to eat more than many that write in here, but I also take home plenty of left overs. I typically am eating 4 oz of Protein with small portions of starch and vegetables.

Edited by bobt1

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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