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These are hilarious!:):lol:

When you get a chance, read more from his site. There aren't tons (yet) and many are freakin' hilarious! He has the twisted sense of hilarity that I LOVE and would love to emulate. :)

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Glou - sorry - thought I would look a little conspicuous with a camera.

Yeah...I s'pose that would look a little odd. :)

so i took that damn ghetto quizz *house so quiet**:

6% Ghetto - You redefine ghetto. Your neighbors have tried to get you kicked out but you parked your car in front of the door so they couldn't post the eviction notice. You're going to be a legend.

Does it count if the car on blocks is a Hummer?

Erm... I'm verrrrry dirty. Disgustingly so. And so is my body. :)

This is getting disturbing....

Sorry, y'all, it's the most laughing I've done in some time. :wink2:

I was reading these at work laughing my ass off. I mean full head tilted back, snorting and crying. In a time of layoffs, I think a few cubby mates were a little disturbed, but f'it. It was FUNNY!! I love this stuff.

I actually had a friend once who thought I was making it up - and gave me a Jello shot that she said was made with rum but was actually made with vodka - i was on the floor in 5 minutes and out of commision feeling like I was going to die for an hour.

Vodka cooked in sauces is ok though.

What a little bugger. I'm rethinking the martini night and wondering if there was anything in one of the ones I had. I literally felt like I was going to die...but just thought I was drunker than I've ever been. <shrug...who knows.>

PTJP - I ordered my dress tonight. It'll come in 15 weeks. It's kinda hitting me now - I'm getting married. :)

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This is getting disturbing....

Sorry... I don't get much attention over here. :)

I was reading these at work laughing my ass off. I mean full head tilted back, snorting and crying. In a time of layoffs, I think a few cubby mates were a little disturbed, but f'it. It was FUNNY!! I love this stuff.

Read as much as you can tolerate. They are effin' hilarious!!

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ok so today - yes I got up early (and we all know why) but I did get up for another reason - tonight 2 nurses were having birthday's and it is a goodbye party for a nurse that has worked with us for many years - and us nurses like to eat well.

I usually cook a lot of the food - one I like to and some of the other nurses might kill someone.

They picked a theme of Pasta and salad (they pick the most random themes)

So I made a lasagna - which I had a ragu bolognese cooking all morning for, a Peanut Butter chocolate cake (for the birthdays), carmalita bars, garlic bread and a cheesy shells pasta dish with andoouille sausage.

I actually made the lasagna in the crock pot - was impressed it came out very well.

I need a family so I can cook on a regular basis for people.

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So I made a lasagna - which I had a ragu bolognese cooking all morning for, a Peanut Butter chocolate cake (for the birthdays), carmalita bars, garlic bread and a cheesy shells Pasta dish with andoouille sausage.

I actually made the lasagna in the crock pot - was impressed it came out very well.

I need a family so I can cook on a regular basis for people.

Uh, I'm an orphan....and I'm on my way to KC right now. See you in the morning!! Yum, sounds like you can do some serious cooking, girl!! I'd add a drooling smiley here but I have a new f-ing computer and I'm really hating it. I think it's going back. Urgh.TPG

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PJTP:Saw surgeon today. It went well. I have a surgery date of 8/27. Was gonna go for 8/20 but freaked out....TOO SOON. No, really, working on my dad's 80th b'day party and it seemed better to wait. And....I'm not crazy enough to need a psych eval. Whodda thunk??Thanks for all the good wishes and crossed fingers!!TPG

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Beth, I can totally see you answering ads in a similar manner....but (didn't we all know there was going to be a but????) I think you should leave the Craigslist ads to him, and you should do personal ads.

I would love to see what you could do with a whiny, needy personal ad!!!!

I am outta here and off to bed!

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Beth, I can totally see you answering ads in a similar manner....but (didn't we all know there was going to be a but????) I think you should leave the Craigslist ads to him, and you should do personal ads.

I would love to see what you could do with a whiny, needy personal ad!!!!

I am outta here and off to bed!

I think he's freakin' HILARIOUS!! He's my new hero! I love and and can relate to his sense of humor.

And I'm officially drunk on mojitos. I blame Lulu. Just cuz. :)

Kat, you made me smile, even through my mojito drunk. :)

Edited by BethFromVA

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PJTP:Saw surgeon today. It went well. I have a surgery date of 8/27. Was gonna go for 8/20 but freaked out....TOO SOON. No, really, working on my dad's 80th b'day party and it seemed better to wait. And....I'm not crazy enough to need a psych eval. Whodda thunk??Thanks for all the good wishes and crossed fingers!!TPG

Is 8/27 really too soon, or does it simply conflict with your dad's birthday? Girl, you can do it. :)

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I agree - You can do it!

And anyone is welcome at any time - just hands off the hotties!

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I actually had a friend once who thought I was making it up - and gave me a Jello shot that she said was made with rum but was actually made with vodka - i was on the floor in 5 minutes and out of commision feeling like I was going to die for an hour.

Please tell me you beat up the friend.:)

PTJP - I ordered my dress tonight. It'll come in 15 weeks. It's kinda hitting me now - I'm getting married. :wub:

I am so happy for you.

Okay, totally mojitoed and making popcorn and watching The Butterfly Effect. :D

I should never have tasted the mojito. That sucker is too good!

ok so today - yes I got up early (and we all know why) but I did get up for another reason - tonight 2 nurses were having birthday's and it is a goodbye party for a nurse that has worked with us for many years - and us nurses like to eat well.

I usually cook a lot of the food - one I like to and some of the other nurses might kill someone.

They picked a theme of Pasta and salad (they pick the most random themes)

So I made a lasagna - which I had a ragu bolognese cooking all morning for, a Peanut Butter chocolate cake (for the birthdays), carmalita bars, garlic bread and a cheesy shells pasta dish with andoouille sausage.

I actually made the lasagna in the crock pot - was impressed it came out very well.

I need a family so I can cook on a regular basis for people.

Take my family....please!:lol::lol:

Uh, I'm an orphan....and I'm on my way to KC right now. See you in the morning!! Yum, sounds like you can do some serious cooking, girl!!:eek::drool: I'd add a drooling smiley here but I have a new f-ing computer and I'm really hating it. I think it's going back. Urgh.TPG

I'll add it for you.:)

PJTP:Saw surgeon today. It went well. I have a surgery date of 8/27. Was gonna go for 8/20 but freaked out....TOO SOON. No, really, working on my dad's 80th b'day party and it seemed better to wait. And....I'm not crazy enough to need a psych eval. Whodda thunk??Thanks for all the good wishes and crossed fingers!!TPG

You can do it!:)

I agree - You can do it!

And anyone is welcome at any time - just hands off the hotties!

Awww! I want the hotties! (said while throwing temper tantrum)

And I'm officially drunk on mojitos. I blame Lulu. Just cuz. :wink2:

Kat, you made me smile, even through my mojito drunk. :D

Glad to see I wasn't the only one drunk posting tonight. I blame Lulu too.

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I'd like to say it's better than it sounds, but these days I find that things I USED to like are kinda ick for me now. It's funny how I will eat something now that I haven't had since before banding, and I'll say to somebody, "Omg, WHY did I like this??" So yeah, I probably wouldn't like it as much as I used to when I was the human garbage disposal.
Isn't that just one of the weirdest side effects of the band? I now find that just the smell of anything being deepfried will almost have me retching - and this from a good Aussie girl with Pommy roots, who thought that deep-fried battered fish and chips was just the yummiest food ever!!
Allright girls - have a mojito for me. **or maybe 4 or 5** :)

Okay, somewhere in these posts someone put the recipe for mojitos and I missed it... I'm gonna have to go back and get it now, coz you've all made me way too curious!

Oh - and guess who took ice cold Water to the hotties - taking a break on her lawn. :)

Glou - sorry - thought I would look a little conspicuous with a camera.

No you wouldn't!! Not in the slightest!! Just tell them you are trying to get a pic of the cute little bird tweeting in the background for an online friend that is a bit of a bird nut... they'll believe you!! Honestly!! You can even have them email me to check :)
Ok,I have never had a mojito! What goes in it? I have heard you all talk about them too much. They must be good!
What she said!
People with the TAS2R38 genotype have a heightened sensitivity to bitter taste. Their genetic makeup includes a gene discovered in 2003 that controls the presence of receptors for a bitter-tasting compound called 6-n-propylthiouracil (PROP).

Scientists believe that the presence or absence of this gene can help account for individual taste preferences and eating habits. A study published in February 2005 found that children who had this gene were more partial to sweet beverages and foods than those without it (though this effect seemed to wear off by adulthood, when race/ethnicity was the strongest determinant). Researchers theorized that these children may be less likely to find vegetables palatable, which could limit their intake of important nutrients.

On the plus side, an earlier study suggested that those with the TAS2R38 gene were less likely to indulge in underage alcohol consumption, experiencing it as more bitter and irritating than do those without the gene.

Nutritionists hope that this type of information will help improve dietary planning for children.

We were just discussing this on another thread I am on regularly. It was a subject on a Nova Science program. It was common among the group of us, that those of us who disliked broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts as kids, were also the ones who disliked bitter alcohols. And some of them who really liked those foods, even find swishing VINEGAR in their mouths to NOT be horrid!

There were of course exceptions to the rule--but it was kind of interesting.......

Ok, I have to be an exception to this rule! As a kid, I LOATHED broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts and even today I refuse brussel sprouts in any shape or form and will only eat cauliflower in chinese food or smothered in cheese sauce, yet I've been known to drink like a fish! (Much less so after banding but still... I do love a drink now and then and that include virtually ANY spirits and most wines (not beer!) My partner will happily eat all of those vegetables and he also drinks a hot vinegar and water drink (eww!!) with Breakfast each day, as he heard that it helps a lot with indigestion.
ok so today - yes I got up early (and we all know why) but I did get up for another reason - tonight 2 nurses were having birthday's and it is a goodbye party for a nurse that has worked with us for many years - and us nurses like to eat well.

I usually cook a lot of the food - one I like to and some of the other nurses might kill someone.

They picked a theme of Pasta and salad (they pick the most random themes)

So I made a lasagna - which I had a ragu bolognese cooking all morning for, a Peanut Butter chocolate cake (for the birthdays), carmalita bars, garlic bread and a cheesy shells pasta dish with andoouille sausage.

I actually made the lasagna in the crock pot - was impressed it came out very well.

I need a family so I can cook on a regular basis for people.

No... you don't need a family, you need to GET YOUR ASS ON A PLANE TO AUSTRALIA and come and cook that for me every day!! :wink2: OMG, I think you just named all of my favourite food groups in one sitting!!

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I've always wanted to go to australia!

I'll work on the picture next week - not making any promises

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Morning all. Seems you were having a busy posting night while I was running all over the neighborhood trying to corral my tenants small dog. The tenant went out for the evening, and the dog was downstairs yapping. About an hour later someone knocks on my door - a nice young man who asks if I have a small white dog - he and his girlfriend almost hit it as the dog was running up the center of the street, and then it took off. I notice the house is quiet...walk around to the back and see the screen window has been pushed out, screen torn and no dog. Well, rats. So, this guy, his girlfriend, myself and several other people whose houses these people have gone to are all wandering the neighborhood properties (no fences around here) trying to find/catch the dog - fast little wild creature! It took 2 hours to locate the dog, and then herd it to the house across two major roads that are wild with Friday night traffic and through many people yards and the cemetery! There's not a lot of lighting in a cemetery!! No one could come near the dog, and it was fast...man, it was fast! Finally it went back into the house the way it got out, but I couldn't close the window from the outside, I couldn't put the busted screen in, and anytime I moved from the deck to sneak to the front and get the key (thinking I would enter their apartment and shut the windows)....the little bugger moved to the window to try and Houdini out! So I sat on their deck, in front of the busted window in the dark, getting eaten by mosquitos guarding the apartment. Finally the tenant arrives home. I was not in the least angry (it's only a screen window that can be easily replaced) but I am very concerned for this dog's safety next time the tenant goes to work! But I bet the dog slept well last night!

So, no drinks, no naked men, no sponge baths, no baking, no fun, no PJTP. :)

And as for the promised sun...no sign of it yet. I think it was all a big lie to try and lift the depression of citizens - the wettest summer on record..................:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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