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Considering cancelling surgery



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Your statistics seem to back up what I was saying, that at 5 years out most patients have maintained the majority of their weight loss. I don't think any diet in the world can match that.
I would also add that my Father is one of those success as a failure stories. Growing up he was 350lbs had an RNY and dropped to 180 before slowly over the next 10 years going up to and settling at ~225. He's part of that 80% that failed in your book, but he is so much healthier than he ever was before.
As for the rest I'm not in any position to try to psychoanalyze the OP, but what she wrote sound more like she has been stressed out by the prospect of the surgery which has caused here less than ideal response.


Thankyou i am very stressed my surgeon only asks for 3 day liquid diet which i started yesterday, before that all i had to do was be on high Protein diet for a month, thats where i did have cheat meals then and there i did lose 15 lbs but since i see everyone so strict i thought i had zero motivation and thought i should go with it since i did cheat a few month in that month.


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Don't cancel. Do the surgery, but get counseling along the way, as what you really need is support to sort it out. The surgery makes overeating difficult, especially in the early stages which makes forced success easier.

You sound like it's anxiety causing this off the rails 'let's cancel surgery' fear of failure or fear of success - which is where counseling will help. And a reminder here - stalls WILL happen and you WILL have to deal with it, this is a learning experience. Go forward not backward. Good luck.

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2 minutes ago, erika702 said:

Thankyou i am very stressed my surgeon only asks for 3 day liquid diet which i started yesterday, before that all i had to do was be on high Protein diet for a month, thats where i did have cheat meals then and there i did lose 15 lbs but since i see everyone so strict i thought i had zero motivation and thought i should go with it since i did cheat a few month in that month.

None of is terribly surprising to me (trust me we all cheated to some extent or another in the lead up to surgery), but the fact that you are still down 15 pounds tells me that you committed to preop diet plan pretty darn well.

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Do you have any idea how many people would give their left nut to have the opportunity you have right now?
I'm not making this stuff up. THIS ^^^^ is what I based my responses on. Sorry, but I don't do "martyr" posts. There was a reason I unleashed and told you the king's new clothes are his birthday suit.
This is tooooo serious a surgery to go in with this attitude.
Everyone and their brother has anxiety about the surgery. BFD! We deal with it and move on. But I don't know of many who actually adopted a laissez faire attitude to the pre-surgical diet and moved forward through surgery. It's far too dangerous and irresponsible IMHO.

That wasnt my question to sit down and think how many ppl would like to be in my shoes, im lucky enough to pay for this out of pocket and like i said thanks for your moral support, but doesnt seem to be helping at all. All youre doing is attacking me. But thanks for being dead serious with me ill have to think about more with what you said. Thanks alot.


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Don't cancel. Do the surgery, but get counseling along the way, as what you really need is support to sort it out. The surgery makes overeating difficult, especially in the early stages which makes forced success easier.
You sound like it's anxiety causing this off the rails 'let's cancel surgery' fear of failure or fear of success - which is where counseling will help. And a reminder here - stalls WILL happen and you WILL have to deal with it, this is a learning experience. Go forward not backward. Good luck.

Thanks!


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Old saying: You've got to think ahead or You'll fall behind! Don't get behind the 8ball of self-doubt and anxiety, one baby step at a time but please keep moving ahead! The rewards are so much better than staying where you are at now. I'm still moving ahead, please join me on this JOURNEY![emoji173][emoji172][emoji13][emoji171][emoji170]HW355 CW323

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

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Old saying: You've got to think ahead or You'll fall behind! Don't get behind the 8ball of self-doubt and anxiety, one baby step at a time but please keep moving ahead! The rewards are so much better than staying where you are at now. I'm still moving ahead, please join me on this JOURNEY![emoji173][emoji172][emoji13][emoji171][emoji170]

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app



Thanks!



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Hi Erika702. Sounds like you are really struggling. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all those painful feelings. Facing feelings is what a lot of us have to do on this journey. It sounds like you may be doing some self sabotage by not following your pre-op diet. Might be time to talk to the Psyc about it and try to find out what you are so afraid of. Maybe it's time to face some scary demons. Only you can decide if you are truly ready for the physical, mental and emotional journey ahead. Just know that you are not alone. We are here to support you in whatever decision you make. Keep us posted. Good luck sweetheart. Sending hugs.

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1 hour ago, erika702 said:


Thankyou!!!! Thats my problem i dont mind eating healthy the problem is when i get hungry is when it all falls apart and i looked into the sleeve because its goin to help me feel full and not get hungry. Like everyone said its a tool not a miracle.

Hi @erika702 When it’s said that a person will not hungry after surgery, that may true for some; however, it’s definitely not the majority. Initially following surgery, the stomach becomes full so easily that you may not. Oftentimes, hungry rises in the weeks following or after eating carbs. (I saw my surgeon yesterday and told her that I ate something not on the list - a small piece of a breadstick from Olive Garden - and she told me that once carbs continue to be eaten, hunger gets worse.) Amen to wait you said, “it’s a tool, not a miracle.”

I’m just mentioning so that you’re wary of expecting that post-surgery will be easier bc you won’t be hungry. There’s a pretty good chance that you may experience hunger often.

Your honesty about your feelings and difficulty show that you care deeply about making the decision that is right for you. I do think, as someone else mentioned, that having a conversation with your surgeon or even the nurses at the practice if your surgeon is unavailable could me a tremendous help.

If you’ve “cheated” during your pre-surgery liquid diet, it’s important to let the surgeon know ahead of time. Like another member said this poses a danger to you and your surgeon bc your liver may not be small enough. Nobody wants to go through surgery only to find the surgery could not be completed.

If you have “cheated” during this phase or need just a little more time to pull it together is there any way you could talk to your surgeon and ask if you could be given another month? Would this still be acceptable to insurance? And will it keep you from redoing everything?

Whatever your decision, please keep your safety in mind and I wish you well. 🐈

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I see I left out some words - my apologies.

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This is what I'd say: the surgery is relatively easy. The weeks (and months and years) after are not.

I see people freaking out about following their pre-op diet and that their surgeon will just zip them back up again without doing the surgery, but given the huge variation in surgeon's advice (my surgeon: no pre-op diet, 24 hours of fluids ahead of time and he didn't even have to use the liver retractor) I wouldn't dwell on that horribly. What I WOULD dwell on is whether or not you feel able to resist nibbling on a muffing at 6 days post-op, or thinking of your first McDonald's shake after surgery as a "goal", or planning out how you'll pace Christmas Cookies so you can still eat them all even with a small stomach.

If your fear is of the actual surgery, the risks are pretty few and well-documented. But if your fear is the thought that you will sabotage yourself afterwards through eating choices, then that's a different topic and might mean that cancelling the surgery and working through food addiction issues with a psychologist would be a better use of your time.

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This is what I'd say: the surgery is relatively easy. The weeks (and months and years) after are not.
I see people freaking out about following their pre-op diet and that their surgeon will just zip them back up again without doing the surgery, but given the huge variation in surgeon's advice (my surgeon: no pre-op diet, 24 hours of fluids ahead of time and he didn't even have to use the liver retractor) I wouldn't dwell on that horribly. What I WOULD dwell on is whether or not you feel able to resist nibbling on a muffing at 6 days post-op, or thinking of your first McDonald's shake after surgery as a "goal", or planning out how you'll pace Christmas Cookies so you can still eat them all even with a small stomach.
If your fear is of the actual surgery, the risks are pretty few and well-documented. But if your fear is the thought that you will sabotage yourself afterwards through eating choices, then that's a different topic and might mean that cancelling the surgery and working through food addiction issues with a psychologist would be a better use of your time.

Hi @sideye. You were fortunate that your liver was no issue but to tell someone who is pre-surgery that there is no concern in that bc of how your dr did things is ill-advised. My surgeon is the founder of a Center of Excellence and has had to sew many patients back up who failed to follow directions and their livers were too large. Be careful of dispensing advice contrary to medical advice. Very dangerous.


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Do you have any idea how many people would give their left nut to have the opportunity you have right now?
I'm not making this stuff up. THIS ^^^^ is what I based my responses on. Sorry, but I don't do "martyr" posts. There was a reason I unleashed and told you the king's new clothes are his birthday suit.
This is tooooo serious a surgery to go in with this attitude.
Everyone and their brother has anxiety about the surgery. BFD! We deal with it and move on. But I don't know of many who actually adopted a laissez faire attitude to the pre-surgical diet (and I'm talking about the actual PRE-OP diet, not the pre-six month weight loss diet--we all have cheated during that and lived to tell about it--and moved forward through surgery. It's far too dangerous and irresponsible IMHO to not take the pre-op diet seriously.

Watch on Netflix THE BIG WARD. it was an eye opener about cheating on the pre op diet and the consequences. Fluffy has an excellent point. If you can do weight watchers you can do the pre op diet. Don’t let your head get in your way. Good luck and keep posting


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Im scheduled for surgery on sat im really considering cancelling, and try on my own one more time. I havent done the preop diet right have zero motivation. Im scared and anxiety is through the roof. Has anyone had more motivation after surgery? Any thoughts anyone else has thought and done surgery?






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Please get a chance to watch THE BIG WARD. on Netflix. It was an eye opener to see what happens if you can do the pre op liquid diet. Please don’t give up. Want to hear more about you and your thoughts. Keep up the good fight


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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