Secret sleevers?!

[kaleia 12]

Has anyone had this surgery and NOT told friends or family? I got sleeved 3/8 and have told 2 best friends. They both have gotten the surgery done 3 years ago. Every time I would bring up the topic of Bariatric surgery I would get the negative comments of “thats the easy way out” and “just exercise”. I don’t wanna hear anyone’s mouth. I’m not embarrassed about the surgery at all. I just don’t have many supportive people in my family.

[allwet 868]

I am sorry to hear that you dont much support but you can lean on those 2 friends who walked the walk you are on.

as for telling family if you dont see support there you did the right thing. them not knowing is better than the negativity you would have faced as you prepared for this.

keep your head up and enjoy the process you are about to go thru as much as you can. Not all of it is easy but all of it is worth it.

and i told only my close family but the way they blabber it was the same as buying ad space

Edited March 15, 2018 by allwet

[cheryl_gut 6]

I feel the same. I have only told two friends and of course my husband knows...

[Luvabull2 7]

I had actually only told 3 friends. My boyfriend was the last to know because I knew he would not be supportive. He has never struggled with his weight, and does not understand how it feels. I had my surgery on 3/7, and he has been trying to be supportive, but it is not easy for him.

[Acts238girl 73]

A lot of us felt this way. It's really none of anyones business. If someone asks me now, "What did you do, you look great?" I tell them I stopped eating all flour products and sugar - which is true. I don't ever want to be re-sleeved, so I am determined to eat the right way! This surgery has made it possible to finally curb those cravings!!

Sent from my SM-G935V using BariatricPal mobile app

[KateBruin 344]

I’m mostly secret. Told my family and those jerks told a bunch of their friends and I’ve also told a handful of close friends. One girl at my gym guessed when I mentioned no food and drink at the same time. Otherwise I say it’s diet and exercise, which isn’t a total lie. It’s none of their business. My sister accused me of taking the easy way out so I say eff everyone if that’s what you want!! Family was otherwise supportive, so were friends. My mom had serious issues with getting surgery but in the end helped take care of me.

[abefroman329 704]

I did tell family, despite the fact that my parents and brother had unbelievably bitchy things to say about a family friend who had WLS about a decade ago. They’ve been largely supportive.

For the most part, I don’t tell others unless they ask how I lost weight, or I have to tell them (i.e. explaining why I can’t drink carbonated beverages).

[jojo2327 23]

I am also a secret sleever I Just told my children and siblings. None of my friends know. It is nobody business! A friend of my sister asked if I had surgery she said no she is on weight watchers. Which i am. I love going to group meetings and getting weighed in each week which keeps me honest I have been sleeved in 2016 and lost 90 pounds. In the beginning it was coming off fast No as I am getting closer to my GW it is coming off slower

Sw 276

cw186

GW160

[Healthy_life2 8,330]

I agree its no ones business. People will speculate and comment. But who cares...keep the suportive people around you...

Sent from my SM-G920T using BariatricPal mobile app

[Kahkeetsee 64]

I haven't told anyone nor do I plan to. Family was a large part of the reason I backed out of surgery 4 years ago. They all acted as if they had arrived for my wake. So, my adult children, sisters and mother will not be told, nor friends.

Sent from my SM-J700T using BariatricPal mobile app

[NewbieLife19 6]

Secretly sleeved here! Only my boyfriend knows and he has been all the support I would ever need!

I chose not to tell any friends or family bc I didn’t want to hear any negative comments, my mother’s hysterics about having surgery or the overflow of advice on how to lose weight the “right” way. As far as anyone knows I have adapted a new healthy lifestyle (not diet) which is 100% true! I’ve changed the way I eat, am more conscious of my hunger signals and am on an exercise plan. That is a much as anyone needs to know.

we shouldn’t feel ashamed for having the courage to make changes in our life but unfortunately that is how much society sees these surgeries.

This is far from the easy way out. It’s takes hard work, constant monitoring and dedication to do what we have done. Don’t let anyone make u feel any other way. 💪🏻

Edited March 17, 2018 by NewbieLife19

[BuzzVSG 252]

I have only told my parents (who aren't supportive), my sister, and my best friend. I don't want to tell anyone else. I have been heavy my entire life. I truly believe people treat you differently when you are overweight. They will see my progress and that is all they need to know.

[Sleeved36 356]

I am still doing some pre-op clearance work and hope to be sleeved in April. I can totally appreciate those who choose to keep this a secret. Life is hard enough with out other people judging you and we have all already had enough judgement for being fat.

But I think I am going to go the other way on this one. . . . I am planning on telling EVERYONE. So far the reactions have been mixed, but the stigma of weight loss surgery will not go away if we all stay in the dark.

Me and my sleeve are out of the closet!

[BuddyD 1]

I started the processes last year, but dropped out because I didn't care for the team that was selected for me. (I live in Mexico and we had communication and location issues). At that time I told everyone that I was considering surgery and It brought out the negativity in many, the useless comments from some and my closest friends and family knew me well enough to know that I've struggled with my weight for 25 years. I've tried all the diets. I've yo-yo dieted with success and setbacks due to injuries and medical issues.

This year I wasn't sure the new team nearer to my home would work, but they've been wonderful. Remembering the people with hurtful and worthless comments from last year I've only told the closest of my friends and my husband. Only the supportive people are around me now.

When to tell my mother is an issue. She has recognized that I've lost weight. I haven't told her that it's the pre-op diet. She'll figure it out when I stop dining out with friends the first month after surgery. She'll be OK with apprehension.

[KateBruin 344]

I have only told my parents (who aren't supportive), my sister, and my best friend. I don't want to tell anyone else. I have been heavy my entire life. I truly believe people treat you differently when you are overweight. They will see my progress and that is all they need to know.

I was just talking to my psychiatrist today about how I’m treated so differently now that I’m down 90 lbs. Before I was 276ish at 5’6” and definitely appeared overweight but I was actually never visually huge. Now people are so much more friendly and chit chat more. Even people at my gym. We think it’s a combo looking much thinner and my increased confidence because he said I basically glow. It’s sad people treat the overweight/obese so differently. Now I make a cognizant effort not to in case I did before and never noticed.