To tell or not to tell

[Apple203 1,314]

I was able to bypass telling my supervisor by taking my FMLA package directly to HR -- she simply sent down an email that my FMLA had been approved without any details. To date, I've told 2 good friends at work, my SIL, my parents and my brother. Oh, and my immediate family.

[GotProlactinoma 458]

I tell everyone. Waitresses, strangers. Friends. Fellow parents at my kids’ school. Maybe it will help someone else. I don’t see any shame in it. And I don’t work in an office where I would be under pressure with people trying to “prove I won’t make it” or chatting about me in a bad way. I take care of my elderly mom and my kids. So I just don’t have societal pressure to keep it to myself. And in talking and being open about it, I have had some fellow obese people really think they might learn more about it, and I’ve connected with other people who had it and you would never h e known, or their sister did, etc. I feel more a part of the universe sharing it. It was a tool I absolutely needed.

[newmebithebypass 713]

Im having bypass in September and i tell everyone damn near everyone because i want to end the stigma against wls and being obese its 2018 for f-ks sake we have the data

Sent from my LGLS676 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Frustr8 7,886]

And I tell almost everyone that cares and I'm sure some who DGAD, I am so happy to be rising like a joyful Phoenix. bird from the ashs of a past life. I plan to fly true and straight into the future. My wings may be old, but I will ride the winds where they may carry me. No stigma, no shame*** I am committed And I SHALL WIN this game!😝🌈😝

[NYJenn 1,464]

The only people that know are my mom and husband. I like it that way. I don’t owe anyone else anything.

[Plucky 24]

My circle is small for now. One of the folks who inspired me let his Facebook friends know well after the fact, once he reached goal. I may do that but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

[MeanSleevedMachine 277]

Well, I only told my wife and parents. My wife told her mom who literally told the world. So, I would have preferred to keep it close to the vest but my mother in law made sure everyone knew. Still rather annoyed by that because it never fails that I run across people that tell me I took the easy way out but I just avoid those people after that. It has certainly altered some relationships after people found out if they were overly judgmental and a surprising number of people are.

And anyone who has had the sleeve knows it isn’t the easy way out. I have to watch and log every piece of food that goes into my mouth. My sleeve doesn’t get up at 5 am every morning and workout and it doesn’t walk 5 miles a day.

My sleeve undoubtedly made it possible for me to make all of those changes and deserves a lot of credit for that. It doesn’t however get all the credit for my success. Or failure for that matter if I become a giant blimp again in five years.

It is a tool. I don’t give a hammer all the credit for building a house and I don’t blame it if the house collapses a month later, either.

[Plucky 24]

12 minutes ago, MeanSleevedMachine said:

Well, I only told my wife and parents. My wife told her mom who literally told the world. So, I would have preferred to keep it close to the vest but my mother in law made sure everyone knew. Still rather annoyed by that because it never fails that I run across people that tell me I took the easy way out but I just avoid those people after that. It has certainly altered some relationships after people found out if they were overly judgmental and a surprising number of people are.

And anyone who has had the sleeve knows it isn’t the easy way out. I have to watch and log every piece of food that goes into my mouth. My sleeve doesn’t get up at 5 am every morning and workout and it doesn’t walk 5 miles a day.

My sleeve undoubtedly made it possible for me to make all of those changes and deserves a lot of credit for that. It doesn’t however get all the credit for my success. Or failure for that matter if I become a giant blimp again in five years.

It is a tool. I don’t give a hammer all the credit for building a house and I don’t blame it if the house collapses a month later, either.

My surgeon warned us that you will get all of that unwanted input. He put it this way, in any other part of our life we would, of course, take the "easiest" approach; how many folks actually say let me try doing task XYZ using the most difficult way. He feels it is more accurate to identify this as the most statistically successful way to lose large amounts of weight... I haven't told my dad, but I am sure at some point he will find my method and we will be having this conversation :).

Hold your head high, and keep using the tool

[KRush88 105]

I’ve told a good amount of people, some were very supportive, others were concerned and few were negative. Either way I’m confident in my decision so the reactions I’m getting are somewhat amusing.

[pugmom234 30]

For me, it would depend on who it was, and if I felt they would support me. There are some family members of mine who are not supportive. I am so new to the process, that I wouldn't want to lose support immediately. I think it comes down to support and my comfort level with that person. If that makes sense

[E-girl 98]

I only had one person at work say something negative but no one liked her anyway. I found most people were just curious about what I could eat and how much. After I did my surgery 4 other people in my office decided to do it too. Which was amazing because we only have 25 people in our office so we created a little support group. It was nice having people who could really relate to you at work.

[Lala70 23]

Kept the inner circle small. Very small, can’t even make a circle with the 2 people who know ahah. But I like it that way. When you tell people, they think you want their opinion. Which i know isn’t the case.

[Mtgirl 10]

Im only telling one person my spouse! The only reason he knows is because he has to pay for it! 🤣😂 I respect the people who do and don’t tell. Remember were not obligated to do either. If you feel happy about telling people then go for it. But If it gives you any stress or any kind of negative feelings then respect that. Your kids, parents and friends have no exclusive rights to know. You have the right to share what you feel comfortable with end of story. On that note I’m so happy my friend shared her vsg journey with me or I wouldn’t have known the surgery existed! That being said Im still not telling her about me getting it done! It may not make any sense to anyone else. But it makes perfect sense for me 😊
Ps. I think when you tell just a couple ppl and they promise not to tell, plan on multiplying that by 10.

[Neversaynever 268]

I have only told my immediate family and my best friend. Anyone else that asks I just say I am following a very low calorie diet and it is working!

Also, regarding the scars from surgery, if anyone asks in the future, I will say it was from having my gallbladder out, which is true but I had it done 15 years ago lol.

One other thing, here in the uk you can have the surgery done for free on the Nhs if you go through many hoops and it takes about 18 months to two years. Some people take offence that you have what they would class as non essential surgery and that it means in their eyes that you are a burden on the Nhs. That's obviously false as statistics show I will be much less of a burden once I lose all that weight and won't need diabetic meds and high blood pressure meds etc in the future.

Edited July 29, 2018 by Neversaynever

[Frustr8 7,886]

Many, what I would consider, very. honest and factual answers on here. @ neversaynever I am awarding you the Uber-trophy. Not only do i feel your phraseology is superior, but I enjoy your pen name as well. You are saying " World - Never count Me Out!" Strong will and an defiant attitude will take you far!😝