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I had a guy (I refuse to call him a man) approach me once in a bar. I was out with my "skinny" girlfriends for a few drinks and some dancing and minding my own business. So he comes up to me and says "It must be hard" Of course I asked him what was hard, and he replied "being friends with girls like THEM and looking like THAT" I was so incredibly mad that I had to refrain from knocking his a** out cold! How dare he bother me with that nonsense, and who made him the authority on what is attractive and what isn't? I told him that it was obvious that he wasn't man enough for any of us and probably just needed to make himself feel better by hurting someone else's feelings. And that is was no wonder he was dancing by himself with a f'd up attitude like that. I played tough and put him in his place but later that night I ended up crying myself to sleep.< /p>

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Jennibee, I am sorry that happened to you. When I went from 175 to the 200s I ran into an old friend of mine. He looked at me and said "what happened to Julie". I never looked at it that way until he said that to me. It really hurt. You handled that with grace.

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screw em!! screw all the SOB's and b*^ches that ever said anything. You just take care of you and when you are skinny, don;t take the judgemental route like they did. I am allowed to be jealous of anyone I want, but I AM NOT allowed to go around being rude to people for the benefit of my own self esteem. Keep your chin high and one day you will not even look back!

Good Luck!

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Sometimes it seems that older people think since they are older they can talk to people anyway they want. Thats not right.

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When I worked at a retirement community, I was filling in for the activities director. So for some of the residents who couldn't get out of bed in the nursing center, I would go and sit in there with them and talk. I had one lady, ask me where I got my large size from. She didn't know what she said was offensive, so of course I couldn't get mad or anything. But yea it just kinda shook me I guess.

Also, I am pretty sure my husband's family talks about my weight. Or they "worry". They love me, and would never ever say anything to hurt my feelings. But I have a feeling just from things my husband has let slip, that they do talk to HIM about it. So that makes me feel bad that he has to hear it.

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Some people are downright rude and cruel... just remember it's their own lack of self esteem that gives them the need to put others down. I tend to tell them off but cry later... then I remind myself that their not worth it and that I'm better than they'll ever be!!

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I like to tell people how ugly they are when they tell me I am fat! Even if they are skinny or fat they can never change the way they look!

I say that too, since I was a kid. "I may be fat, but you will always be ugly".

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Good Luck on this special day. This is truely the beginning of a new and healthy lifestyle. You have made the first big step in the right direction. There are always going to be ignorant people in this world. Is it really worth your breath to have a cruel comeback? Who looked like the stupid one? Your friends talked over her which tells you that they agreed she was rude and out of place. When you reach your goal...send your friend a new picture of yourself. You really have to feel sorry for this poor stooge! Her poooooorrrrr daughter. How embarrassing to have a mother with a BIG mouth. I am thinking of you!

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I've heard it said that when people lash out with rude, unkind, hurtful comments they're actually turning their self hatred outward. Since you said she was fat,,sounds like a fair assumption to me,,lolol. Force yourself to feel pity for a woman who doesn't recognize her own misery. :-) (I must be in a mellow mood today,,hahahaha)

banded 1/29/07

Dr Ken Cleveland

Jackson MS CMMC

331/266/150

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You shouldn't let ignorant people like that (and there are loads of them) upset you - just keep motivated and take care of yourself. You have made a choice to change by choosing the this tool that will allow you to flaunt your success the next time you see her!

Good luck with your surgery!

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Well...one thing I have learned in life..some people are just plain old rude. I can't believe that woman said that! Wow..what an meanie. I would never hurt someone's feelings, that's just ignorance to be that way. I say get the band, lose the weight...then tell HER if you see her again, maybe the band would work for her too since she's overweight..get her back. Good luck and keep smiling!!! :biggrin1:

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      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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