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Depressed and need to vent



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I am about a month and a half post-surgery and things have been going well...have had energy, losing weight at a decent pace and seeing a difference but literally all my happiness went away yesterday and struggling to find it again.

Just like many of us, my weight has been up and down for many, many years and I actually have a lot of clothes (some even new) that I haven’t been able to wear in the past 2 years or so bc of weight gain (again). I’ve been as small as a size 4 in the past and I have all those clothes, plus some other sizes :)

Even though I told myself I wouldn’t do it just yet until I lost a little more, I decided to go through my closet. I know I am not a size 4 so I didn’t touch those clothes and felt ok waiting for the near future to even look at them. But what really bothered me is that I tried on a shirt I wore in 2015 when I was literally the same weight i am today (I know bc i kept track on my Fitbit the last time I went through a major exercise and diet plan and lost a whole bunch)....and it didn’t fit!!! i even went back to find a picture Back in 2015 when I had the shirt on and it looks good! I am so confused. I know bodies change and all but I really thought it would and it completely crushed me. I know it shouldn’t and I should be happy with where I am at but now I am super depressed and trying to understand why. You would think that if it fit then it should fit now right?

Just needed to vent bc I hope some of you understand how I’m feeling. It’s amazing how one little thing can completely take away all the positive thoughts I had about this journey and my way forward. Btw, I have lost a total of 43 lbs.

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I've had the same thing happen. I had XL shirts that I wore when i was around 260 lbs. I had lived at the gym for about a year and a half and went from 395 to 260. I still considered myself to be fat but I was also lifting like mad and had a lot of muscle mass. Here I am 15 years later and still have some of those old shirts. While I do fit into them they wear the same as when I was 265, and I'm 30 lbs lighter right now (235 current). It's frustrating because I know what it means and that I don't have near the muscle mass I used to.

It isn't rainbows all the time after surgery. Stalls will happen and get you down. Things like the clothes will bother you from time to time. But I'll say this - when I see Facebook memories come up and see what I looked like 2 years ago...holy crap the differenc is insane. The mental side of WLS can be a real roller coaster. It's good to vent because we all get frustrated from time to time.

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Yeah, the weight shifts around differently for me this time too. I completely lost my arss already...lol but my stomach has not went down as much as I would like.

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3 hours ago, EndlessGoals#2018 said:

I am about a month and a half post-surgery and things have been going well...have had energy, losing weight at a decent pace and seeing a difference but literally all my happiness went away yesterday and struggling to find it again.

Just like many of us, my weight has been up and down for many, many years and I actually have a lot of clothes (some even new) that I haven’t been able to wear in the past 2 years or so bc of weight gain (again). I’ve been as small as a size 4 in the past and I have all those clothes, plus some other sizes :)

Even though I told myself I wouldn’t do it just yet until I lost a little more, I decided to go through my closet. I know I am not a size 4 so I didn’t touch those clothes and felt ok waiting for the near future to even look at them. But what really bothered me is that I tried on a shirt I wore in 2015 when I was literally the same weight i am today (I know bc i kept track on my Fitbit the last time I went through a major exercise and diet plan and lost a whole bunch)....and it didn’t fit!!! i even went back to find a picture Back in 2015 when I had the shirt on and it looks good! I am so confused. I know bodies change and all but I really thought it would and it completely crushed me. I know it shouldn’t and I should be happy with where I am at but now I am super depressed and trying to understand why. You would think that if it fit then it should fit now right?

Just needed to vent bc I hope some of you understand how I’m feeling. It’s amazing how one little thing can completely take away all the positive thoughts I had about this journey and my way forward. Btw, I have lost a total of 43 lbs.

Congrats on you 43 pounds down.

One thing I noticed with weight loss is you have no control over where it comes off. I lost it in my face first. Then my legs and butt. My mid section was the last part to go.

You will have moments that you struggle. Its ok. You will go through many sizes in the months to come. It's going to give you the excuse to toss the old clothing and shop for something new.

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your body redistributes the fat as the years go by, it's not uncommon to not fit in something you did long ago even at the same weight.

I'd recommend not doing this clothes thing for a while if it's upsetting to you. There are so many ways to measure your success, finding one that depresses you is the opposite of a good idea. lol! ;)

You should measure yourself, your head, neck, biceps, wrists, breasts, waist, hips, thighs, calves and ankles. Then do that every 6 weeks. Also, try to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. Even though this is much faster than a regular diet resulting in weight it's not going to fly off of you, thought it feels that way sometimes. lol!

As long as you stick to your protocol: Protein, Water, 10K steps a day, Vitamins - as long as you stick with those this will work for you and if you maintain that priority it will stay off.

Hang in there! If you are feeling discouraged I recommend putting on some happy music, throwing on some sneakers and get out there and walk walk walk!! I always feel better after a good 30 minute brisk walk!

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I completely understand what you mean. I actually tried on a pair of pants I'd manage to squeeze into over 40 lbs ago, but they didn't fit. I had thought, surely if I'd been able to wear them before, they must actually look good now. Reader, they did not look good. Not at all.

I really am stubborn and am just keeping on the same stuff I've worn for weeks, even as it gets baggier and baggier. I don't want to be disappointed by trying on tighter stuff prematurely. So I totally can relate!

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I have oodles of clothes I refuse to get rid of until my surgery actually happens.. Drives my son bonkers.. He keeps saying "we'll have to hire a dumpster." Thought about giving them away,maybe Goodwill. Don't have a Volunteers of America. We do have a group called Interchurch, like a federation of local churches, they have gotten picky recently. They will still accept black trashbags of clothing, but now everything has to be freshly washed and pressed if possible. My clothing is clean but I don't own a washer and to take everything to the laundromat would not fit my puny budget. After utilities and shelter comes my food budget and I usually have very little disposable left. So much as I'd like to pass them on to someone deserving, it's not feasible. Breaks my [emoji173] most are just comfort clothes not fancy office or dressy. To the dumpster they'll go, I can get a good deal on one from my regular refuse company.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

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On ‎2‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 9:19 PM, kakatlady612 said:

I have oodles of clothes I refuse to get rid of until my surgery actually happens.. Drives my son bonkers.. He keeps saying "we'll have to hire a dumpster." Thought about giving them away,maybe Goodwill. Don't have a Volunteers of America. We do have a group called Interchurch, like a federation of local churches, they have gotten picky recently. They will still accept black trashbags of clothing, but now everything has to be freshly washed and pressed if possible. My clothing is clean but I don't own a washer and to take everything to the laundromat would not fit my puny budget. After utilities and shelter comes my food budget and I usually have very little disposable left. So much as I'd like to pass them on to someone deserving, it's not feasible. Breaks my [emoji173] most are just comfort clothes not fancy office or dressy. To the dumpster they'll go, I can get a good deal on one from my regular refuse company.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

vva has a pick up service for donations of clothing

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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