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Thoughts needed....



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I started my weight loss journey in Sept 2008. Had absolutely NO complications or problems and lost over half my weight in 3-4 months. I weighed 247 on the day of my surgery and quickly plummeted to a sexy 125!! Felt amazing and looked it too! However, 5 years later I had picked up a brand new habit!! I started going out...like to bars...which I had never done in my life ( I was married w/ kids so this wasn't acceptable) anyway, Now, I was divorced and had alot of free time on the weekends. Had a wonderful job, gaining new friends, hobbies etc. However, I also started drinking. Would never have more than 3-4 Captain and Cokes but my god they were delicious to me!! I had never drank before nor did I drink much soda. I quickly found myself drinking on the weekends while out with friends. Long story short, 2 years later I got a DUI !!! The first and ONLY person in my family that drank much less, get arrested. This killed my spirits, and I felt I had let my family down so I swore off alcohol. Fast forward 2 years...no job, new relationship that required a move 3 hrs away from everything I had ever known, only to find he was an alcoholic who was also physically abusive when drunk (strangled me on numerous occasions)...I started drinking again (along with him and only at home) just to get my mind off the fact that I was so far away from my family and other miseries. I am now on my own, doing very well, great job, my own place but have now started drinking wine (a whole bottle of Pink Moscato) a few nights a week. This didn't really start until this past April when I had a full hysterectomy....Thankfully, I have never had a hangover, never get sick and am actually really productive around the house..(which isn't a bad thing) I guess my question is, I have gained about 13 lbs since this time last year ( my job is sitting for 12 hrs 4 days a week) when I am home ( I live alone) I am just sedentary and don't really have any energy to do much of anything ( severely anemic and get Iron infusions every week ) so do you think it is the Wine that is causing the weight gain, the Full hysterectomy, the desk job or just a combination.??? I would really like to stop any further weight gain and any answers would be appreciated.

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Tough Love:

Alcohol slows lipid oxidation (the burning of fat) by about 75%. So yes, it's likely the alcohol causing your weight gain. And it's probably contributing to your nutritional deficiencies. You should be eating nutritious food, not alcohol. Particularly if you are deficient.

DUI is selfish and dangerous. You are extremely lucky that you...or anyone else.... wasn't injured/killed by your poor choices.

3-4 mixed drinks, or a whole bottle of wine a night....is an addiction. I think you're trading one dangerous addiction (food) for an even more dangerous addiction (alcohol).

Try to stop drinking for a month. If you can't? Seek help.

I don't mean this to sound overly harsh, it sounds like you've been through a lot. But sometimes being kind means being honest....even if the truth hurts a little. Please take care and let us know how you're doing.

Edited by Creekimp13

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Hello Wv chef
Im so sorry to hear about all your troubles & I agree with Crèekimp13!
Alcohol is NEVER the way to cover over any problems! It just leads you to more as you have already experienced!
I have a Niece who had a gastric bypass right after she graduated high school. She had been over weight most of her young life so wrhen she was old enough my Sister helped her to get the surgery. By the way shes now 25 or 26. Back then my sister, her Mom, didnt know about the gastric sleeve! Anyway my Niece loss all her weight & felt pretty & sexy for the first time in her life! She started to go partie, bars & started drinking, getting drunk which lead her to getting raped & anòther time she became pregnant & well...the fetus is no longer here! To make a long story short.. she's still drinking despite all the help & encouragement from family & the TV show called Intervention. She is now living many miles away from her family, has a 4 yr old daughter, living with the babies father who is a drug addict & who beats her!
So NO... alcohol is not good! And yes it will make you gain weight!
WV let me ask you this...have you ever though about turning your life towards God? That is the Best direction you can go at this point in your life! Why not seek a way to have a personal Bible Study to show you how you can change you life & bring you much,much Joy! I promise you will never regret it or ever be alone no matter where you live!

Sent from my SM-T530NU using BariatricPal mobile app

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Look up the terms 'cross addiction' or 'addiction transference.'

Cross addiction is a very common phenomenon in the bariatric surgery population. Instead of overeating, many weight loss surgery patients simply adopt another addiction (e.g. alcohol abuse, shopping, smoking, gambling, risky sex, video gaming).

Essentially, bariatric surgeons operate on our stomachs and not our brains. Therefore, overeaters who abused food still have addicted brains after weight loss surgery. Nothing, other than professional help, will properly address a person's addictive tendencies.

Yes, the wine leads to weight gain, especially in the quantities you drink. It is full of empty calories. Combined with the sedentary lifestyle, it's a perfect recipe for weight regain.

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Re being sedentary, can I respectfully suggest that the best non-threatening exercise to a sedentary person who wants to lose weight and tone muscle is SWIMMING.

Once you get into the Water, your joints are relaxed and under minimal pressure. You can float, paddle, swim, wade ... even deep-wading in chest-deep water.

I won't address your other issues as others seem to be covering them.

But I do hope you'll consider the diversion and the assistance EXERCISE will bring and I recommend swimming as the lowest impact EFFECTIVE form of getting into regular comfortable exercise.

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I would love to swim and do so every weekend in the summer because we have a summer house on the river, However, there are no places around me that have any type of indoor swimming during the off months. I live in a very small town in West Virginia.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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